Sunday, April 27, 2014

"Modesty Rebirth: What Should I Wear Today?"


Can I be honest? I used to love my short shorts and mini-skirts. I have naturally muscular legs so I figured, I got it, why can't I show it? I mean, it isnt' hurting anyone.

Until.. I met my husband. 

I recall flying into Atlanta and wearing this long maxi dress. The dress length wasn't the issue, the issue was the v-cut top portion that showed a little bit of cleavage. I don't have a huge chest, so I rationalized that I don't really have cleavage as an average B cup woman. He said to me, "Heather, do you have a jacket or a tank-top that you can put on? It's important to me that my girlfriend is classy and keeping things covered." So, reluctantly, I put a tank-top on and thought to myself, "gosh, this tank top totally ruined my outfit" but then.. 

God checked my own heart. 

He said to me, "Do you want attention from Me or do you want attention from men & to be a stumbling block for men?

Wait, I don't want to be a stumbling block for anyone Lord! I don't want MY way of dressing to encourage sin in a man's heart! Not only that, I KNEW Cornelius was going to be my one-day husband  and I knew that I needed to listen to him. I was beginning to practice submission as the Lord led me so, this was a challenge. 
As I started dressing more classy, my heart used to break at old photos of myself. Then, I would see women out & about and I would want to run up to them & say, GIRL! You are beautiful! You don't have to sell yourself short  show your goodies! This wasn't me saying, "oh, I'm so much better than anyone" But it's saying, "honey, I've been there. YOU are so precious to Jesus. You're such a jewel. WHY are your ta's ta's out? That isn't your body to show off, you're simply a manager of your body. It belongs to the Lord.  What you show is what men think you will share! Godly men want a godly woman! I remember that I used to dress that way to get attention from men. I did it because I was insecure and I didn't feel good about myself. I did it because I had no conviction. I did it because even if God tried to convict me or if an older woman corrected me, my rebellious heart rejected any leading. And in the world of social media & pictures, what are you showing? If a godly man wanted to go online & check you out, would he pass you by because you're half naked in all of your photos? 

So now, I like to run my clothes by my husband prior to leaving the house. I only want to look good for him and please him and most times, if my dress is too short, I'm convicted before I even open my mouth to ask him.  We actually BOTH show one another our outfits & help each other get dressed daily. It's not like he has this stick & he's yelling at me to dress a certain way. We WANT to please each other & we find pleasure in it. The great thing about my hubby is that when we are on vacation once or twice a year, he's much more relaxed about me wearing dresses a couple inches above my knee vs. at my knee. But that is MY husband & its what he likes. If you're rolling your eyes at me, I want to encourage you to check out my blog on submission. I believe in the headship that God set in place and I LOVE the protection. 

To bring balance to this, I once heard of a woman that said that "women cannot wear pants or wear short-sleeved shirts." Let's be clear: Modesty isn't you dressing like a nun. The obedience of a child of God is not measured by what clothing we wear but by our walk in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:16). Thus, if you are LED by the Spirit of GOD, you will naturally cover up that tail. If you're led by your flesh, insecurities and whatever else. you will be by your own desires. 

I know that some really conservative people may read this & say, "WOMEN AREN'T SUPPOSED TO WEAR PANTS! There is a passage in the Old Testament that speaks about a woman wearing men's clothing: "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this" (Deuteronomy 22:5). Remember in studying the scriptures, we must look at the context of the scripture. The context of this scripture is the second giving of the law to the nation of Israel as they were preparing to enter the Promised Land. Deuteronomy 22:5 is an admonition not to live as a transvestite. This has to do with more than just clothing; it also speaks of a life that mimics in every way those of the opposite sex. Transvestitism was a practice of the Canaanites, and Israel was to consider it an abomination. We take a principle from this and apply it to our lives as believers, but we must use it in the context in which it is given. SO many Christians are skipping around here, applying scriptures out of context and BASHING everyone else that doesn't agree with their convictions. Honey, if that is your conviction, rock with it. My conviction is not eating meat. I share the benefits of a healthy digestive system but I'm not about to stuff it down your throat & tell you that you're so wrong. If it's CLEAR in scripture, like submit to your husband, no sex outside of marriage, forgive, etc-- I get it. But, some areas-- it's vital that you're led by the Spirit of God. THIS is where a relationship with Him comes into play. 
One of my favorite disciples, Paul wrote on the difference between the law and grace in Romans. We are not justified by our adherence to the law, but we are justified by faith in Christ (Romans 3:21-28). The believer in Christ Jesus is "dead" to the constraints of the law. "But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code" (Romans 7:6). Therefore, a believer does not live by legalism, nor by license, but rather by grace.

What has that to do with a believing woman wearing pants? There is no biblical law that says what a woman should wear or not wear. Rather, the issue is one of modesty.

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God" (1 Timothy 2:9-10). 

I did a bit of research about the greek breakdown of that scripture:

The Greek word translated "modest" is the Greek word kosmios, which is translated twice in the New Testament, once as "modest" in this passage and once as "of good behavior" in 1 Timothy 3:1. It came to mean "well-arranged, seemly, and modest."The word clothes is the Greek word katastole. The meaning of the word was "to send or to let down or lower." 

It was primarily a garment that was let down and in that day referred to a stole or a loose outer garment worn by kings and persons of rank. Since we know that Paul was not speaking to people of rank, the context here is simply modest attire, and it does not specify what that means. 

Paul talked about this issue here because the women in the church were trying to outdo each other in how they dressed, and the flashier the better. They were losing sight of the things that should focus on as a godly woman—humility, sobriety, godliness, and good works. The words "dress modestly" are not used here in the context of specific garments, but rather to being modest in what they wear. It should not be used to prove as some law against wearing pants (also see 1 Peter 3:3-4).

So, the FOCUS is that a woman should wear modest clothing. Whether or not that includes a pair of slacks should be a matter for the woman's own conscience before the LORD. If a woman allows her outward appearance to be the measure of her inward relationship with Christ, she is living under the constraints of the law. Born-again women are free in Christ to wear whatever modest apparel they choose, and the only judgment they should be under is that of their own conscience. "Everything that does not come from faith is sin" (Romans 14:23). We are not to allow our consciences to be dictated to by legalism and the consciences of others, but by our own relationship with Christ. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20). God will take care of the outward woman if we walk in obedience in the inward woman. So, what good is it for you to wear your long skirts but you are mean? What good is it to wear your long sleeved shirts if you are unforgiving? God is searching your heart sis. 

So, now that we cleared that up, let's talk about some practice tips of dressing modest & being fabulous. 

1. Figure out what clothes WORK for YOUR body. My "problem" area has ALWAYS been my lower abs! It's NOT as ripped as I would like for it to be! No matter how much I work out, I always end up with a 4 pack & not a six pack. Nonetheless, I don't like to wear dresses and shirts that are super tight in that area. So, I have found that peplum tops and dresses that are fitted & then "poof" out work best for me! Could I wear tighter shirts? Yes! But even so, I am most comfortable in the above!
**In the picture to the right, you would be surprised to find out that my green top & my best friend, Delan's pant suit is from Forever 21! My jeans are Seven Jeans & my shoes are Giuseppe Zanotti.

2. Where do I shop? EVERYWHERE! I don't discriminate from Thrift stores, to Target, to Saks, To Bloomingdales to wherever. If I can be totally honest, I like to buy things of good quality. I would rather buy a purse that will last me 30 years versus buying a purse every year because it falls apart. If you do the math, you actually save money buying the quality items. Not only that, if you ever needed to sell that item, you would STILL be able to get your money back years and years later. I once bought a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes at a thrift store for $100. I was able to sell them on Ebay for $300 because I knew of someone who had a need. I wore those shoes for a couple years as well! That is one of the joys of buying quality items.

3. Some of my favorite places to shop outside of the normal stores:
  • Asos (www.asos.com) They have amazing midi-dresses and skirts!
  • ModCloth (www.modcloth.com) think vintage, fabulous!
  • Ebay (www.ebay.com) I'm HUGE on finding brands for cheap online! Why pay full price when you can find the same quality at a bargain?
  • Amazon (www.amazon.com) I LOVE being a Prime member. You pay a annual fee to get 2-day shipping. This comes in handy when I need items for Logan or for myself last minute. 
  • Outlet Shopping: I LOVE outlet shopping! You can find last years goodies for super cheap!
  • Goodwill! (www.shopgoodwill.com) Did you know that you can bid on goodies from ebay for super cheap? Another awesome way to find bargains.
  • MY boutique! (www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com) I do have some clothes on there + some amazing accessories! 
  • Choies (www.choies.com) has fabulous skirts like my skirts above! They are midi length! Note that some items are 1 size fits all so be sure to check the sizes prior to ordering! 
4. Practice makes perfect. When I was single, I would have a rough day, or want to go shopping but knew I was on a budget so I would try on clothes & come up with outfits when I had down time. Playing dress up for me was therapeutic because I was able to actually SEE the stuff in my closet. At times, we just shop and then throw more items into our closet. If you take the time to organize it and actually see what is in your closet, I doubt you would buy as much more. 

5. Ask a friend to help you! If you have a friend that LOVES style, clothes and putting outfits together, ask her to help you out! 

6. BONUS: I LOVE boutiques! They have one-of-a-piece items that are affordable!



I pray that this gave you clarity on being modest! I posted some photos of modest outfits that I've worn recently! If you have a desire to dress more modestly, I believe that the Lord will help you & give you wisdom.


Just a few things:

1. I  opened up a Pinky Promise Boutique!!! Think fashionable, fabulous purity rings, cross bracelets, journals, statement necklaces & so much more  for women! Check it out via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com.

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

4. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com AND my new book, "A Perfect Recipe" here!

5. Register for the 2014 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year, so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 21,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com



God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey 












29 comments:

  1. Very good Word Heather...thank you! :)

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  2. Thank you so much Heather! I have been battling with this particular issue for a couple of months now. This just confirmed everything for what God already has been placing in my heart about my clothing and my walk with Christ! Even though we don't want to give those things up, we have to represent Him. Thank you so much!

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  3. Thank you Heather for your teaching, i had also made bad choices in clothes etc in the past,but im trying to be decent now and i have given away the inappropiate clothes to charity stores (as you suggested in your book). I also just wanted to say God is really using you to impact my life, i read the word and pray, but ever since ive come across your blog page, ive developed more of a hunger for the Lord, and i just want to go deeper and deeper. Im 32 and still single, but not letting that take all my focus now, just focusing on Christ and learning how to let him lead me and how to hear his voice. Thank you so much Heather, your so amazing, hopefully i will meet you one day. And thank you for the recomendations of your favorite places to shop listed in this post, i will definetly check them out. God bless you and your family bisouxx :)

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  4. I love this post! I just touched on this yesterday. This is the very reason I love making my own clothes. I can make my items as modest as I want and STILL be stylish! Great post!

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  5. Thankyou for this!! Pls what's ur take on bikinis and how 'long' should our shorts be :)

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  6. Funny that this blog was posted...yesterday while I was on my way to work that SAME scripture about how we should be modest really hit me. I felt really convicted about this because in this journey of finding myself in the Lord sometimes I would get so caught up in the outer, when my insides were jacked up. God didn't call us to dress like harlots, but He didn't call us to dress in a potato sack either. It's all about modesty, pleasing Him and giving Him glory, and being free to carry yourself with class, dignity and grace. Thanks for writing this Heather. :)

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  7. I love this blog post! Your such a beautiful woman inside and out. I also wanted to know what are the best thrift stores in Atlanta?

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  8. This was a beautiful post. I also love to show cleavage. Never thought about when I start dating, I can dress modest for my future mate.

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  9. Hi Heather! You are truly GOD SENT! Your heart, wisdom, and ministry is just truly a blessing. I am trying to make plans to come to the conference. I was wondering where did the outfit you have posted with the hat on come from? I am attending a " Fancy Hat and Sundress day" event and I think this outfit would be PERFECT.

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  10. God has really spoken to me about my clothes. One time I was wearing a "one good wind" skirt and God said to me,"baby girl, that skirt needs more hemline." God has convicted me about my clothes for years but I ignored him. He convicted me about the quality, the length, and about the style of my shirts. I have a large chest and it's a challenge to find nice modest tops that aren't tents. I also like to show off my legs but God has really led me to Midi skirts. I use Pinterest to find inspiration for my midi skirts. When I first got them, I was afraid because I thought they would look matronly but God is leading me to more vintage styles and outfit ideas. Pray over your purchases and outfit ideas and God will open your eyes to what you need to know and do.

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  11. I'm so glad u are led by God to write on this topic. My mother is a strict Pentecostal woman who doesn't believe women should wear plants in church. She wears them outside but believes it is unmodest to wear them at church. She always refers to the scripture about a woman wearing things of a man, in which I always come back with, I don't shop in the men's section unless I'm buying a gift for my dad or brothers lol. I will be showing her this later today! Thanks!...oh and if u are led can u blog on drinking alcohol and why it's a sin. I no longer drink because I believe it is a sin, but I have fam and friends who want to live saved but don't quite understand why it's wrong to have an occasional glass of wine here and there. Ok just putting that out there lol!

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  12. Boy that was deep and so true Thank You us as women need that

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  13. I have a question Heather! What are your thoughts concerning birth control? I'm asking because I know that you're vegan and you try to avoid anything processed. Any suggestions?

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  14. Aeriel Bee, Value Village and Goodwill are the BEST! Also try Salvation Army, but the first two are cheaper than SA

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  15. I needed this clarity and biblical referencing. Thank you so much for your transparency and obeidience to relate and teach young women like me. Gods blessings!

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  16. Thanks so much for this blog, I definitely agree with this! That's why I created my own business that sells Christ glorifying, modest attire. I don't want this to be a "spam" message, I just wanted to share another website ladies can buy clothes from...

    www.modestladyboutique.com

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  17. Thanks Heather you gave good advice.Im only 11 and im going rto use it.We kind of dress alike.You're Beautiful.

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  18. Absolutely love this and the outfits!!
    Thanks Heather.

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  19. I am very impressed, I was taught this way by my Pastor that we don't want to cause our brothers to fall by what we wear so this is something I have practiced. However I could use a little update, your choices are both modest and very pretty. Thank you for sharing.

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  20. Thank you so much for this article and info. about the clothes!!!

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  21. Sometime God wants to see how obedient we are and the Holy Spirit tells us to wear a certain outfit and I'm telling you do it!! You never know what God is up too, really stay in obedience!

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  22. Thats very powerful and encouraging..I wanted to change how i wear and didnt know wear to start am greatful..

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  23. Amen sis. Thank god for you. This helps me and my fellow sisters in Christ. Remember we are daughters of a king. Which makes us princessess

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  24. Hi Heather. Thanks so much for writing on this AND recommending some stores to shop from. I've found it increasingly frustrating when going shopping to find dresses that are of good material and appropriate length. It seems everywhere has short dresses and shorts or revealing clothing. I'll try some of your online stores and hopefully will have better luck that way.

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  25. Thanks for the post! It's true that we don't want anyone to stumble because of what we wear but also what we wear signifies who we are on the inside and shows that we know our identity which is in Christ. Lovely pics!!

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  26. Heather please post more of the good word.

    Thank u

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  27. Good day! I could have sworn I've been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I
    realized it's new to me. Anyways, I'm definitely glad I found it and I'll be bookmarking and checking back often!

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  28. Thank you so much for this blog. Convicted I stand and this has given me much clarity.

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