Friday, March 22, 2013

"When I No Longer Desire God"



Ever felt like.. you knew that you were supposed to spend time with God, read your bible, pray & do all these "things" and you had the right intentions in doing so.. but as you went about your day, it didn't happen. You thought about it. You felt conviction. You felt God's spirit tugging on you; but you never sat down & just experienced His presence. Then, as the day went to a close and you sat down to watch your favorite show, you said- "It's ok, God loves me and I'll just do better tomorrow." This cycle continues for weeks and it turns into months. You begin to see yourself change from a sweet and patient person to a irritated and impatient woman. You start to gossip a little more, watch a few more shows that you wouldn't usually watch, listen to a little Beyonce (and please, let's stop defending her like she's God. The bible says a tree is identified by their FRUIT.), curse a little there-- you know, your standards begin to adjust. Your guards have been dropped and you are calling yourself a Christian but you cannot figure out why you're miserable. Guess what?

You no longer desire God. 

You see, you desire the music, the shows, the TV, the little boyfriend rubbing on your thigh, the silly unhealthy friendships, the lying, the gossip. You desire those things. You may say that you don't desire them but the way you prioritize your day shows me what is important to you. It shows me where you place your value. It shows me what you're thinking about it. It shows me and .. let's replace "me" with "God" where your HEART is.. you think it's in Him but it's not. Just because you have good intentions doesn't mean anything until you start taking those good intentions & doing something different.

Let's look at it like this: You're married and throughout the day, you talk to your husband, text him, make plans for the future, go on date nights- you are very intentional about developing and desiring Him. You WANT your husband because you continue to water & nourish that tree. Why is it that we enter into a relationship with Christ & we don't talk to Him, don't spend time with Him, aren't intentional but then we wonder why we don't desire a "deeper" relationship with Him?  What also begins to happen is even if your ignorance, the Holy Spirit begins to tug at you to REMIND you to spend time with God and show you your empty voids. You will either adjust and make time for God or, you'll go & seek things to fulfill that void in your heart. You may go have sex, text some guy you know is a hot mess, go back into your past because it appeared more comfortable (it lied), go shopping (you know) and seek fulfillment in something to cover up that hole.

I can save you time, energy, heartache & hurt by reminding you that you'll never be satisfied until you get back to that place of being intentional & seeking Christ daily. You can run to try to find you another "mentor", preacher or whoever else to make you feel better about yourself and spoon-fed you OR you can start to woman-up and be the woman that God called you to be and go get on your FACE before God. It's time out for this foolishness sisters!! We have GOT to do better. How can we continue to exchange God's magnificent presence for the presence of some man that doesn't care about you or some job that you're not even supposed to be at? We have GOT to get back to this place of sitting at the feet of JESUS. It's great that you have your accountability sisters and that you remind each other to spend time with God but let's get to a place where we don't have to be reminded anymore. What if I had to remind you to spend time with your husband? Most likely 1. Your husband would get upset that he wasn't a priority 2. And wonder why the heck do you have to be reminded by another woman to spend time with him. Why is it that we get saved & have to constantly be reminded to spend time with God as if it's a burden? You don't have to be constantly reminded to spend time with someone you LOVE & is FIRST. The answer to the clear question is: You no longer desire God. And let me be clear, there's nothing wrong with accountability but at some point, we must move from "have to spend time with God" to "I get to spend time with God."

I just gave birth to our son, Logan William Lindsey on 3/13/13 (praise God! ;-) And I learned VERY quickly that the sleepless nights & "sleeping" when he is sleeping is crucial. I also found that even in these past few days, I hadn't been spending as much time as I used to spend with God even just days ago. It convicted me. I said.. Lord, I am spending time with the one that is most important to me. Don't ever let me make an idol of my son, even in my lack of sleep & exhaustion. God, help me to want you more than anything or anyone else.

So, what has come into your life and replaced God? I could have very well made my son an idol by giving him my attention 24-7 and made an excuse about my son being a newborn or whatever else. I cannot afford to make that choice, no matter how "sleepy" I am. Reminds me of Matthew 10:37 "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." This is referring to family but we could very well replace father or mother with job, money, a boyfriend, a husband or whatever else. I'm sure Matthew used this reference because these people are usually the ones closest to you. It is BECAUSE of my SON I NEED to spend time with God. It's BECAUSE of my job I NEED to spend time with God. You see, I cannot properly FUNCTION in these roles as a wife, mother, business owner, friend or whatever else if life isn't in PROPER order with CHRIST first. 

Hebrews 5:12 says it nicely: "In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!" -- You're going to church, been saved for a bit, joined a Pinky Promise group-- it's TIME TO GROW! Just "doing" these things doesn't mean anything. The question is: When the rubber meets the road & you have a choice to choose GOD vs. something else.. what do you choose?

God pressed it heavy on my heart that people also don't desire Him because life HURTS them and they BLAME Him. We cannot turn our hearts away from the only One that can help us. If life has hit you hard, know that God is close to those that have a broken heart (psalms 34:18) & He is READY to take you back into His arms. STOP running from HIM. HE will use everything that you've been through to bring Him glory. So ask Him to break your hardened heart. Forgive whoever has hurt you. Stop looking at your hurt & start looking at CHRIST.

In short, when you don't desire God.. it's because He is no longer the object of your affection. Want to desire God? Get back to the heart of worship. Get back to that place where you craved Him when you first got saved. Get back to that place of worship. Get RID of anything or anyone that is hindering you. THEN, stay there. Renew your mind. Turn off garbage. Ask God to wreck you daily. This walk isn't a 100 meter sprint.. it's a marathon, so if you expect microwave results, you won't find them in Christianity. You must stay in that place of worship and trusting God no matter what is going on in your life. Let's all make a commitment to get back to this place of worship, starting now.

Few reminders: 
1. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 11,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com 

4. To purchase cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: LOGAN. -- (how fitting!)


P.S. If you've asked me questions on here-- know that I'm not ignoring you! I get THOUSANDS of emails & questions and it's super hard to get to each one. Thanks for your patience during this busy time!


Love you all madly,
Heather Lindsey



















35 comments:

  1. Heather,

    First off, CONGRATULATIONS on your new addition!!!

    I love what you wrote here. It really hit home because I've always had a hard time with consistency in my times with God. This serves as a reminder to me that I have to be very deliberate about going after my relationship with him. Heck, even when I call myself being interested in a particular young lady, even then I find myself thinking about her and having intentions, yet not being deliberate in acting upon those thoughts. I can't continue to do this in either case, but especially with God, I have fight to carve out that time for him. Thanks for sharing your heart with us!

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  2. Pray for me, I am in this place.. thank you

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  3. Wow Heather thank you for your transparency and for obeying God by posting this. It was right on time and I pray God blessed your newborn son! God bless:)!

    P.s your healthy eating ways inspired me to become a vegetarian. Keep,me in your prayers!

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  4. Great blog post heather, right on time. I was TOO convicted & I know I should be spending more time with God. Thanks for continuing to be used by God.

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  5. Amen to this blog ever since I read your other blog about having a set time for Christ along with a journal and pen and pouring out your heart to him! My relationship with him is growing! I attack the devil like you said with scripture and its working thanking God !!

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  6. Simply excellent!! just what I needed to hear

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  7. Wonderful post! And this is such a great follow up to your husband's bible study last night. You always make such excellent points Heather! And congrats again on Logan. :-)

    xoxo Miss ALK

    http://missalk1994.blogspot.com

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  8. wow! Such an amazing post! Very convicting :)

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  9. Loved it!! Just got home from bible study and you touched on some things my pastor talked about. We even read Hebrews 5... The Holy Ghost is amazing. Congratulations on your new bundle of Joy!

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  10. No words..just tears..God is amazing..EVERY single part of this post describes my life..every part. I am convicted, challenged and now want to change. Running back into the arms of Jesus, and not looking back. whew.

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  11. Congrats on your sweet little addition to your family. I just read your book and it was absolutely inspiring! Thank you Thank you for just being you and so honest! Congrats again my boy is now 4 months :)

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  12. How beautiful! This is a perfect display of how I've been feeling the past oh..FEW YEARS! In fact, I don't think I've ever been consistent in spending time with Christ and making HIM my true love and priority. It's like I knew that HE would always love me and that HE was the best amongst the rest, but I still did/do what I want to do. I'll have a spiritual high for some time, then fall crashing down in my sinful pits of you name it (pornography, lust, TV, cell phone, friends, etc). I want to love the Lord beyond saying it. I want to start my day (whether off from work or not) thanking HIM and loving on HIM. I want to come home from work knowing that a morning devotional and prayer is still not enough. I want to want HIM. You're so right Heather, and I thank you for allowing God to always use you with HIS timely word for your flock. I will consider my trespasses and move out of the way and just let Jesus take the wheel at all times.

    Back to HIS scheduled programing!

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  13. This is something that I am dealing with right now!. I just don't feel the desire to read my Bible all day or to talk to God throughout my day. But I constantly look for improvement in my personal life with the same/no results. This is my 1st time reading your blogs && I find them very inspiring. Lets me know that I am not the only one that deals with these things. This post was right on time. Congrats to you & your success!

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  14. Thank you for this Heather, I've had a lot of reminders this week that my walk with God has to be deliberate and intentional - Going back to the heart of worship!

    And congrats on Baby Logan!

    xx

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  15. This is juts what I needed to hear!

    Thank you!

    http://patentleathercupcakes.blogspot.com/

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  16. Fantastic piece of God-filled writing. I myself, as a man, find this very relevant to both genders. There's a wealth of relatable information. God bless you, I pray you continue to be filled with the spirit which sits so perfectly in your heart.

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  17. Heather,

    God must've told that we all needed to hear this. I'm in the Valley of Baka right now (spoken of in Ps. 84) and honestly it has been an extremely difficult place to be. I can't verbalize everything going but God's Spirit knows because it's only from Him I'm getting the strength to get through each hour of the day. He knows the next big step in my life will require for me to completely desire Him and I wasn't ready. I'm still not there yet but I'm getting there. And in my valley, in this valley, He is near. He is the only who can be near. Because He's the only one who understands, the only one who knows me in and out.

    So thank you for this! And congratulations again!

    God bless you!

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  18. 1 Day I'll come al The way from Africa.. To visit ur Church!! Am Really inspired by u.. Been Telling ma Ladies to tell a Friend to tell another friend bout Heather:)#PinkyPromisemovement.. Bless ur Soul

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  19. I am crying tears as I read this! Thank you Father for timely, convicting and ecouraging article. I have been in this EXACT situation for the past month, putting my work and self before Father. Priorities and heart all messed up. I am so ready to fall back at His feet, surrender all and once again be IN LOVE. Thank you sis. And congratulations to the both of your for your beautiful precious gift! Esther from London x

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  20. I just had to get up off my couch & close my door & open my Bible. This blog was for me!

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  21. Very uplifting; thanks for sharing..

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  22. Rikeshia Precious BaxterApril 23, 2013 at 9:28 PM

    Grateful.

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  23. This really convicted me... I'm going to get back on track. There's no reason for me to only feel God on Sundays when I'm ministering to his people through dance; but during the rest of the week I'm idle... all day today I have been feeling empty, trying to do anything thng to feel busy and keep my mind from wandering... and then I run into this post. Thank God for you Heather. Jesus.... this just hit home.

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  24. Whew! When you said God pressed into your heart that life hurts us and we blame God, I almost started to cry. I don't think I've been doing that consciously, but you're so right. Thank you for this.

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  25. I dont desire God anymore bc of abuse and im tired. Its bc ppl violated me and i have wounds and unforgiveness from the past . Things are very difficult and i am bitter bc of the suffering. i am envious of others bc it appears He hates me and truly blesses and loves others, it feels like He doesnt always see what i have endured and people dont see all the trouble i have had. Ive lived a very sorrow filled life and have done well in serving but even Christians seem to ignore the cries of those who hurt especially if it doesnt come in a package they are familar with.I have worked for God and done His work and He seems like Hes ethusiatic about blessing others but i serve Him and try to do right but am ignored. Maybe this isnt tru but it sure felts like no matter what i do counts. Bc Hes decided to merciful to whomever He chooses and thats not me. Pls pray God will heal my heart thank you.

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  26. I felt like I was losing my desire for God to. I mean I still read and pray everyday except I'm not feeling it like I used to. I used to be excited about it and now I don't know what happened to it. It seems like I just do it just to make sure I don't backslide and give God time because I promised him I wouldn't back out from him anymore.

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  27. Thanks i'm about to run away from Him again

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  28. I was just reading about how you became a vegan and my thumb swiped to the left by accident and I came across this blog. Although 2 years old, I know I was suppose to read this today. No matter how my flesh feels, I have to stay connected to God. Thank you for writing this. God bless.

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  29. I was close to God and felt his presence in my life. I had one dream only which I used to pray about. That I have a baby. I got pregnant and I thought it was my miracle. It turned out the baby was terribly ill and was destined for a life of illness and pain. after weeks of agony I aborted my love. I am so hurt I no longer desire God. I don't want to be close to God. I know He holds me and cars for me. But I hurt so much I want to push Him away from me ...and I want a life of fresh not of spirit... I don't even know why ... I am just not able to connected with God in any way... Yes I repented. Yes I begged for forgiveness for being a killer ...maybe I had not forgiven God for my hurt... I don't even understand myself... all I know I see God in the distance and I don't want him near me...

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    1. Basi, I hope you get this message. I pray you feel Gods love deeply. I pray he covers your wounds, your hurt, your pain and loves you back to life. The enemy is a liar and remember that Jesus died for your sins. The guilt and shame have no power over you. You are not condemned in Christ Jesus. I know exactly what its like to feel hopeless. Its a trick of the enemy. We have hope! Our joy can be restored but only through spending time with Jesus. I know you may feel like staying away from Him seems like the right and wasy thing to do. After all, why would he want you? Ah, but he not only wants you, he LOVES you and will use you to draw others to Him. You have purpose. Fight gard against your emotions and sorround yourself with the Word. I pray you hunger and thirst for Him like never before, sis.

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  30. im reading your post now in 2016 and its exactly what i needed for a moment there i thought you were seeing me and what im going through. im so grateful i had lost the desire i had for God and because of that i had plunged into sin but deep inside the holy spirit kept tugging at my heart telling me go back but was feeling so guilty and dirty before God. Thank you for this post may God continue to increase you in every are of your life.

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  31. People.....my life is A MESS. I am alone and SICK. I had holy spirit in 1991 but in ignorance and foolishness. SATAN took advantage of me. I was evil and felt I fought against a God I didn't know and trust because of others. I REALLY am sick mentally and spiritually. I am afraid. I feel cut off and lost. Evil and anger upset has eaten me and slowly killing me. I NEED DIVINE INTERVENTION. I want to feel God presence and love to be clean. I have been out in world and it get worse, PLEASE help...

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  32. I discovered Heather s channel 2 days ago ve been so blesseed
    by her ministry.I have managed to renew my vow of consecration again. I want to be in love with JESUS everyday,

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  33. I discovered Heather s channel 2 days ago ve been so blesseed
    by her ministry.I have managed to renew my vow of consecration again. I want to be in love with JESUS everyday,

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