Tuesday, August 14, 2012

"Our Two Year Wedding Anniversary: 15 Things I've Learned"



Sooo, today is our 2 year wedding anniversary! I'm SOOO excited to be spending it with the man of my dreams and my best friend. I decided that it was fitting to share some of the things I've learned from marriage for the past two years. 

1. Marriage is work. I didn't know. I mean, you hear about it-- but in order to keep your marriage strong, you have to work it it. Meaning, you can't "starve" certain areas of your marriage. My husband said that it was important to him that I spoke to him in a sweet, respectful tone. I can't do it for two months & then start cockin' my neck at him & talking to him like he's a child a month later. You really have to listen, meet in the middle & pray often. 

2. The joys of "shut up."-- You ain't ready to get married if you aren't ready to meet in the middle (OR go all the way), shut up & choose your battles. Every single discussion isn't worth a full- blown-out argument. It's not worth it. Sometimes, if my husband thinks that he is right about an area and we've gone back & forth about it in the past.. I just rub his back and tell him ok, & I love him. And don't roll your eyes at me for that. It doesn't mean I'm a doormat. Who told you that WORDS would win your guy over?! 1 Peter 3:1 says to win your husband over without words but by your BEHAVIOR. 

3. My marriage is like no other. I cannot compare my husband to anybody else. He is Cornelius Lindsey & no other. He aint my ex, he aint some person on TV, he ain't anybody but WHO he is and how DARE I try to put pressure on him to be anything or anybody other than WHO God called him to be. He's an amazing man after God's own heart that presses INTO Christ daily. He listens to me, he's a beautiful leader & has a awesome vision. I am working with WHAT he got as God develops him in other areas. Let's all be honest, you have areas you need to work on too-- #grace. 

4. ME. I learned about me. Oh, I knew I had issues when I was single.. but I was pretty convinced that I was pretty close to perfect as I pursued God & lived for Him. lol. PLEASE! Marriage is a MIRROR that will show you YOURSELF. It's like my husband goes into my heart & plucks out (vice versa) areas in our hearts that don't look like God. God allows us to expose each other so HE can HEAL us. Our marriage brings HEALING. 

5. Everything doesn't always work out. T'is true. But now, you have someone to work things out with TOGETHER. There was a time period where my husband and I were having issues with our bank account & until it got settled, we had to eat rice just about everyday. WE didn't fight with each other, we laughed about it!! We enjoyed our rice & created meals out of nothing! We stuck together. In HARD times, don't QUIT. Work through them. Things will get better. GOD is our Provider alone. (matthew 6:33)

6. My husband aint me. Yeah, I have a SUPER happy personality. Even this morning-- I've been up since 6am waiting for my husband to wake up. As soon as he woke up, I started kicking like a little kid & he sat up & said "Please, just give me a minute"-- hahaha!! I KNOW my husband isn't a morning person. I'm pretty much on HIGH 24-7! So I had to really tune into the Holy Spirit & let Him lead me with my excitement. There's a time & place for that. My husband LOVES my happy personality but I also have to meet him in the middle at times. 

7. The head of every wife is her husband, the head of her husband is Christ and the head of Christ is God- 1 Corinthians 11:3. Imagine this with me. Take a knife & cut my head off (not really, but you  know), and cut my husbands head off.. and cut Christ's head off. Take my husband's head & place it on my body. Take Christ's head and place it on my husband. Where does my head go?! To my one day children. But as of right now, my head is gone & my husband's head is sitting on it. Which means my husband and I are ONE & HE is loving ME like HE would LOVE his own body. WHEN I look to my husband's body, on HIS head is CHRIST. So, as I SUBMIT myself to my husband, I'm really submitting my BODY to CHRIST. So it sure makes it a lot easier to submit to someone.. when the wife is constantly looking at CHRIST. 

8. Stay snatched. I learned that  you have to bend in the way you look. You are no longer dressing "cute" for anybody else but first your husband. My husband wasn't crazy about my blonde hair-- so now it's dark brown with highlights. I had to meet him in the middle. We work out to stay healthy & look good for each other. You gotta maintain this area. There is not thrown' down on KFC & Big Macs for dinner in our home. We eat HEALTHY meals. WE need to be around for a long time to preach, write books and everything else. 

9. God speaks to my husband better than me. Umm. yeah. This was a fun one to learn. I used to nag in the beginning of our marriage. HE NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND. Girl, bye. That man just went into the man cave of his heart & he won't be coming out anytime soon. I learned to rest & place my trust in God concerning my husband. YES, I still addressed issues in our marriage but at times, God would tell me to shut it up because HE was handling it. WE are help-meets. So are you helping or hindering him? Make sure you move out of the way so your guy can hear from God. 

10. My husband has my best interest at heart. I had to learn to trust him in this area. I had been SO hurt in past relationships. I had to LET my guard down & trust the GOD in him to lead our family, not abandon our marriage and to believe the best. EVEN in times IN our marriage where we said.. "WHY did I MARRY YOU!?" Yes-- we've had our share of arguments. Fights will happen. Things happen in marriage. God weans you and at times, it sure doesn't feel good. But it's for your good. If you just stick it out, you'll see the fruit of it. Our first thought shouldn't divorce.. but reconciliation. LOVE bears up under ANYTHING. (1 Cor 13:4) 

11. NEVER SLEEP APART. Even if you're arguing. FORCE your mad tail right back into bed. Don't let your spouse run you out of your bed. Arguments WILL happen. It's marriage. The bible tells us "not to let the sun go down while you're still angry"-Ephesians 4:26. Don't get in the habit of running out of your bed when you're upset. You'll create a habit of sleeping apart.. or in other places. No matter HOW bad the fight is.. tears & all, I know my husband and I will be right in that bed together that night. Thankfully, we don't fight as much as we did the first year. lol Matter of fact, we don't really fight at all anymore. We have mastered peace. 

12. Code Words: How have we mastered peace? Code words are your friend. If my husband and I get into an argument, we say "JESUS"-- meaning ALL arguments cease & we will not continue this conversation any further until our emotions settle. 

13. God can give you the hook up. I remember one day I was upset with Cornelius and God told me as I went for a drive-- "Heather, I created and know Cornelius. I can tell you how he functions & give you the inside on how to use wisdom with Him." Ummmm.. why didn't I THINK of that?! Thanks Jesus! :) lol 

14. My husband takes longer to cool down then me. If we have a heated discussion-- I can forgive and get over it in 2 minutes. My husband may need longer to settle down. I've learned to pull back and give him space to hear from God. 

15. Marriage is best, done God's way. So stop watching stupid reality TV shows of pretend marriages because you're comparing it to somebody's highlight reel of a marriage and then they end up divorced in a year. Your home is your vacation home. (that's what I call ours) Make it beautiful ladies. Be his cheerleader. Love him like crazy, spend a ton of time with God & let Him lead you. 


I am sensing in my spirit some people that may not feel like their spouse is really living for God. Sis, I want to encourage you to "win him over with your quiet & gentle spirit"- 1 peter 3:1. Just cling to God and believe the BEST. If he acts a fool, cook him breakfast and ask him if he needs anything else. PLEASE believe, I'm telling you to do it because I DID it. There's times where I thought we may not work out after a HUGE argument. I got quiet before God and I recall God's spirit spoke to me.. He said that His spirit was grieved because of the argument. He told me to forgive my husband and ask my husband to forgive me for what was said. Even though my feelings were still upset.. I still got my tail up & cooked. Pursue.. PEACE. THINGS will get better. Stay encouraged.

And Happy Anniversary to my king. I adore you. 

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!
www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store
www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you signed up for the Pinky Promise Conference? We would love to meet you!
www.pinkypromiseconference.com


God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

137 comments:

  1. Hello Heather! this is my favorite blog I've read of yours!!! Keeps me inspired & on my toes -- God looks so beautiful on you & your hubby! ♥

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  2. I'm not married yet, but am in a committed courting relationship. Girl, I'm learning SOOOOO much! Thank you so much for sharing and giving us resources to understand what we're getting into lol! You are helping alot of women become better wives and women of God! Happy anniversary to you both!

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    1. Aww! Giiiiirl, I totally understand. lol that courting period is NOT a fun season! It's SO worth it though! Get though it, develop & let God wean you!

      xo

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  3. Speechless finally a person that's not ashamed to speak the truth about ur narriage!! Bc people don't want to tell the bad they always want to tell the good and have you think it's all peaches and cream!!! I enjoyed this blog.... I'm single waiting on god I grew up in a very strict church home. Not ashamed bc it made me who ism today I luv my parents for that!! But it just seems like guys doesn't want a good clean save girl that's my struggle as I'm getting older.. I'm 30 now and I'm like god I'm doin everything i possible can to be and stay tru to you!! But Im always reminded just when you think gods forgotten about you that's when u get blessed!!! So I'm patiently waiting I will not get off from what I stand for!! It's hard I'm not goin to lie!!!

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    1. I know what you mean Anonymous, I'm 28 and waiting on the Lord and sometimes I just get tired of waiting. But not too long ago He told me to be patient, lol. So He knows. :)

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    2. hey ladies, the more your singleness bothers you, the longer it will take. im turning 28 living in a society when im "overdue". i have learnt to enjoy my singleness and live for God. If He wants marriage for me, He will do it in his ow time. im not gonna rush it. Wait without complaining.

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    3. Praise God lovely! God has not forgotten about you! He's with you! Continue to trust Him & let Him lead your life! xoxo

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  4. Hey Heather! Thank you so much for this post! I'm not married or even in a relationship, but some of what you learned can even apply in other relationships in my life. I really love number 12. Sometimes I have some heated arguments with my dad and it would be so nice to say "peace" and just stop the conversation until a later time. So thanks for that, and God bless your marriage!

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    1. Giiiirl, I'm with you on that! I learned the above can apply to all relationships! Praise God!

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  5. I'm not married, or even dating for that matter yet but I really enjoy reading your blogs on marriage ! The transparency you have with the good AND the bad is such a blessing!

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    1. Praise God! You're super encouraging! Bless you love!

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  6. So beautiful!!!! Your story encourages me to continue to wait on God and to faint not! I love reading about you and your husband and it charges my spirit! God bless you and your union and may an open heaven reside over your marriage and ministry!

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    1. Praise God! We receive that! Blessings to you!

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  7. Happy anniversary!
    God loves you lots.You are very blessed,
    now and always.

    Thanx for being a blessing,and sharing with us.

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  8. Heather you are soooooo inspiring! Im in a courtship right now and I wanted to ask in your courtship with your husband did you guys argue? and if so, how did you handle the situation?

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    1. Umm YES! There was NOTHING cute about our courting stage. I blogged about "When I was single" & so many other blogs on here! They should be able to help! You just grow & develop. Things will get better as God weans both of you!

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    2. Okay lol, because we argue as well and it get discouraging at times cause there is def not peace in those moments lol but we are growing and learning more about each other everyday! I just wondered because some people make courting seem so perfect

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  9. This was so on point for me!! I needed to read this blog! I am a "new new" newlywed only 6 1/2 months in!!! We did NOT get the best spiritual guidance during our premarital counseling due to some personal issues with my husband and the pastor. We have since sought out the guidance and leadership of another pastor. It was just what we needed! Reading this blog was like a revelation because everything this new pastor is currently ministering to us, you have said right here in your blog! God makes no mistakes and he knew exactly what he was doing when he placed my husband and I in the same church so that we could meet, date, and get married. Then he removed us from the church and placed us in a more stable, loving environment (church) full of other young married couples who embraced us with open arms!! We were heading down a path of destruction and had only been married several months, but to GOD be the glory, things are finally looking up for us!! I thank you for the words of encouragement and for keeping it real! Happy Anniversary...may God bless you and Cornelius with many many more!!!!!

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    1. Amen! That first year cant be rough-- so I am proud of you for pressing through so keep it up & stay close to God!

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  10. Wow--I'm married, it'll be five years in September and I must say--I am nowhere near exhibiting the wisdom you have. In fact, I think my neck just squeezed real tight reading this. I'm just not there yet. All I can say is Lord help me!

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    1. lol, U'll get there. At least you have the desire to get there. No worries. Everyone in their own time. ~Kym

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  11. GREAT blog honey! Happy 2nd Anniversary to you two and 90+ more to go!

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  12. I'm a Guy and Woah.. this is awesome! God Bless You Both.

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  13. Awesome, awesome, awesome! I ran into your post right on time! My husband and I celebrate our two-year anniversary this weekend, and we've experienced so much of what you've written. Thank you for sharing, and I hope that you two are blessed with many more years together.

    P.S. The rice situation was hilarious! For us, it was beans and cornbread for a long while :)

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    1. Praise God!! Happy Anniversary to YOU as well honey!! :) And I totally understand! It's all worth it! :)

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  14. Wow. Thanks for this. I had just sent you an email yesterday asking for prayer on my marriage situation, not sure if you got a chance to read it yet. But this was very on time, going through some stuff now, but this is a great confirmation. I have been asking God to speak to me in some way. We all appreciate you and Cornelius. Happy Anniversary Heather!

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    1. Aww! Praise God! I'm a couple months behind on emails because I get SO many-- going to try to get to it soon! xoxo

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  15. wow.... The Honesty in this piece

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  16. Congrats Heather! Praying that God will continue to strengthen your marriage. I've been learning so much from you guys and I look up to you! I believe you guys will make it and that you will continue to be real. That God will protect the both of you and you will continue to be a testament that marriage works and of God's faithfulness

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  17. I loved this because my understanding of marriage was so screwed because of what I see in my aunt's and uncle's marriage, almostmakes memory want to get married. But as you said, don't compare. Thank you!

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    1. That's right! Our example comes from Ephesians 5! That's the marriage of Christ & His church that we should compare our lives too! xoxo

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  18. Thank you so much for sharing with us. You have helped me tremendously! Do you have an email address? I have an issue that I would like to get spiritual advice about but not publicly. I would really appreciate it.

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    1. Hello lovely, I get thousands of emails. It's SO hard to keep up with them. I am a couple months behind but you're more than welcome to state them on here or you can email me, but note that I probably won't be able to respond soon. pinkypromisegroups@gmail.com

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  19. Absolutley Beautiful! I love how you give examples, refer to the Bible, and keep it real all at the same time. You have a beautiful Spirit and humble heart, which is quite admirable...keep up the good work. Young married women like us need relatable role models and information! You are greatly appreciated!

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  20. I love this post. It just reaffirms what was put in me in regards to my own marriage.

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    1. You're always such a sweetheart! I appreciate you!

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  21. This just blessed me beyond! Thank you, Heather! You and your husband have been SUCH an inspiration to me and my marriage. Love you BOTH dearly!

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  22. This post was just so beautiful, honest, and pure. It gives hope to the single (me now) and the married (me God-willing soon =). Hopefully, people will understand that nothing comes easily, but is made easy when you work and pray hard.

    I pray you have a blessed anniversary, and your union becomes stronger year by year. xx

    http://www.beesespieces.com/

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    1. Amen! Praise God! Thanks for this sweet message!! And your Adam is sleeping honey, in due time, he will wake up! :)

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  23. Happy Anniversary! God is just so beautiful, shining through you both. Thanks for sharing your story, giving me hope and great things to look forward to when much king comes.

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  24. I love how you keep it real Heather... So many saved couples make it seem like marriage is a walk in the park instead of being real with the up incoming couples. People think that just because they're saved, the relationship won't have bumps in the road. I've been courting for a year and I'm the happiest I've ever been because I'm doing it God's way but your blogs really made me realize that there will be trials in the relationship and that I shouldn't think that I'm not with the right person just because we had a disagreement. I've really learned a lot from you... I'm not planning to get married soon but I know that when the time comes, I'll be prepared because people like you have really kept it real.

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    1. If you are dating God's way, why would you wait or need more than one year to marry?

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    2. We decided to wait one year before he proposed because we wanted to make sure that we were not being emotionally led & that we passed some test in our relationships before we got married. We married 8 months after he proposed. I always tell people that you aren't ready to get married if you haven't seen that person MAD, I mean really MAD.

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    3. I'm only 23 and I'm in school to be a doctor... My boyfriend is 26 and he's still in school too so we're not ready to be married for at least another 5 yrs. our parents are also in agreement that we should take our time. I've been married before and I'm not ready to be married again just yet. I'm really enjoying courting and I'm just not ready for marriage

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    4. Heather, do you think the likelihood of couples getting married decrease if they wait more than one year to decide to get married?

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  25. I absolutely love your blog. I love that you are a God-fearing woman striving to live a life that will bring glory to His name! I am 20, 21 in a couple of months and the information God is using you to share is amazing. I thank God for your life!

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    1. Aww! Yay! I am thankful for your life too honey and that you CARE about what GOD thinks about you & the standards He's encouraged you to set! xoxo

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  26. So powerful. What an incredible insight into your life of marriage. The answer for a successful long lasting marriage is simple...GOD. Amen to this x

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  27. WOW!!! This brought me to TEARS!!! I love how transparent, genuine, and FULL OF God's WORD you are...I appreciate you being obedient to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to speak through you! This just touched my spirit in so many ways---I just gotta thank God for answering my THOUGHTS (things I hadn't even prayed about yet)!! He BLOWS my mind! Im praying for you..you just stepped on some demons!!! I love it!

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    1. Aww! *tear! Praise God!! I'm so encouraged by you!

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  28. Heather, I absolutely LOVE this post. I have probably read it 3x's today. I am not married, dating, but rather working on me and waiting on God. Your whole situation is a blessing to any person seeking marriage, in a marriage, or contemplating leaving a marriage. I so can't wait until the day I am able to apply this along with God's plans into action with my oneday soon marriage. Thank You, this has truly blessed me. Now stop blogging and njoy your anniversary. lol

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    1. Giiiirl, when you do apply it, you'll be like well DANG-- this doesn't feel good-- but you'll see yourself getting better in so many ways! Excited for you!

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  29. I made a comment earlier and it disappeared! First off, Happy Anniversary to you both!!! Thank you so much! Wow! I had just emailed you last night about my marriage situation with questions and a request for prayer. I know you get hundreds of emails, but if you get a chance to read it that would be great. This was another confirmation to some of my prayers and questions. Thanks again Heather for your candid, godly, and biblical advice.

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  30. Awesome sis!! Thank you 4the wisdom concerning marriage& being transparent...it IS NOT given in vain sis. ;) Thank u

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  31. This is really insightful and inspiring! I am celebrating my one year anniversary today, and this is giving me a better perspective. The things you wrote are really true and logical. Thanks for sharing and encouraging!! Be blessed

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    1. Aw! Happy Anniversary!! Excited for you! God bless you!

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  32. Wow! Thanks for sharing. Although I am single, I am learning so much about how to do things 'God's way'! Many blessing to you and Cornelius:)

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  33. I'm so in love with this! Awesome blog! You wow me everytime! ” Pursue peace” I love that statement... God bless! Happy 2yr Anniversary!

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  34. Amazing! Thanks for sharing with us Heather. You guys make me happy and I know God is pleased to see you both honor him with your marriage. I pray continue blessings over you guys. Much love, Heather and Cornelius!!!! :-)

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  35. Hi heather, congrats to you guys, @ years wow! these days that's like 10 years lol, i'm not married, nor am i officially dating, but one day i do wanna be married, but know do you know if your with the right person, or your just robbing yourself of true happiness?

    ppl can change right? i need some serious advice plzzzz xoxo

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    1. It does feel like its been forever! I actually blogged about it "How I knew my Husband was the One"-- check it out!

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  36. Great post, Heather! I'm not married yet, but your advice will forever be kept in my heart for when that season comes. God Bless!!!!

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  37. Happy Anniversary! Love this post! I am 4 months married and this is very helpful!

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  38. Hermione Louis JeuneAugust 14, 2012 at 6:21 PM

    I love this so much :)

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  39. ditto, ditto, and more ditto! Thank you for your honesty and real-life examples in this blog! After one year of marriage, I relate to almost EVERYTHING you've written; it's always comforting to know that our ups and downs are a part of married life. :)

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    1. Aww! So thankful for you! Excited about what God is doing in your heart!

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  40. I'm so glad I found your blog, but I'm sad I didn't find it sooner! Several friends follow it so I should have seen it before now :) My husband and I are coming up on two years in October, and I follow a lot of blogs because I feel like I can never learn enough about how to be a better wife. Thanks for doing what you do. Happy anniversary!!!

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    1. Amen! So proud of you for letting God teach you through different ways of how to encourage your hubby! xo

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    2. Aww! Praise God! Thanks for your sweet words!! xoxo

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  41. Hi, Heather! thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'm still leaning to preserve my virginity for my future husband. Stay pure until the right man comes along.-KIM 25yo from Philippines.

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  42. This was really nice to read...and congrats again on your anniversary! As you already know my husband and I are still in our first year, and at first the arguments used to have me so depressed and worked up, but as I really studied and cultivated how to speak to him with a gentle and quiet spirit, he has stopped wondering if I respect him; he knows I do. And when he feels respected and loved, it makes it easier for him to show me love and respect in return.

    Finish enjoying your day with the hubby!!!

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    1. That's amazing! I love your story! There's something about deciding to respect your guy & then he starts trusting & cherishing you- less arguing. lol

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  43. Stunning article.im just sorry it was too late for me with the woman i love

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    1. It's ok, God closes relationship doors & will open up a better one for you.

      Praying for you!

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  44. Beautiful blog. Thank you for sharing your heart and helping other women in the process. God bless you tons!

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  45. YES!!! Talk about right on TIME!! My husband and I were married last week :) God Bless your union! Happy Anniversary! xoxo

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    1. Aww! CONGRATS!!!!!!!! SO happy for you!!! Trust God like crazy to change you & your husband. He will! :)

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  46. AWESOME! MARRIAGE IS GOD'S HOLY COVENANT, IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT UNION BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN. I am a newly married and adore and respect the KING GOD has blessed me with. THANK YOU FOR YOUR POST AND CONTINUE TO BLESS OTHERS WITH YOUR MARRAIGE MINISTRY.Do you guys host Marrige conferences. CONTINUE TO ALLOW GOD TO USE YOU AND YOUR HUBBY. Marrige is the relationship that is fought the most.Keep your post coming. Very HEALTHY FOR FACEBOOK READERS.

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  47. This is just wonderfull!

    I love you girl! Thanks for sharing this.
    Really love everything you sharing nd you have been a blessing to me
    Especially with the journal.
    I have been writing since may.
    But I had some short periods that i stopped writing or skipped a lotta days nd then write agin.
    And then i started again nd skipped again four days!!

    :(
    But I keep going nd you keep encouraging us Heather!
    i really hope I can thank you face to face one day nd hug you for all this.
    I live all the way in Holland nd I really want to have a pinky promise group here. But In my church it is not that peacefull (anymore) nd the girls arent either. Everyone just goes their way...sadly enough.
    I hope one day to have very best friends in Christ just like you do nd have a group of ladies that encourage each other etc.

    I pray for you nd may the Lord bless you even more.

    Love you Lady.

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    1. Aww! I know it can be hard at times, just try to stick with it!
      I hope to see you one day too honey! I'll have to preach over there!

      Hugs & kissses!!
      xoxo

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  48. Woaw. Marriage surely is WONDERFUL GOD'S WAY. Congratulations for being such an EXAMPLE. When I read this, I can't help but smile again and again, and I also can't wait to say YES ! to the wonderful person GOD brought into my life.

    Happy 2 years Anniversary ! With Love,

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    1. Praise God!! Looking forward to that day FOR you!!
      God Bless!!

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  49. Love This! Congratulations on two years. This is a beautiful post <3

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  50. Congratulations. In a world where so many people disregard marriage, it is relieving to know that there are some young couples that honor God in their marriage. I am thankful to have had counseling prior to my marriage that helped us understand exactly what you noted, and for that alone I am looking forward to the many years that I will spend with my husband of just three months. Marriage is exciting, all of the good and the ugly. The key to it is to understand that "your" marriage is unique and special and only God's presence in it will make it prosper. May you both continue to be excited for Christ.

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    1. Aww! Congrats newlywed!!!!!!! I'm super excited for you!!

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  51. HEATHER!!! You are the bomb. I love your spirit. When will you be back in ST. Louis????!

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    1. As soon as we get invited to preach there!! loll! You're sweet! Appreciate you!

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  52. Congrats on your wedding anniversary!!! May our Lord continue to lead you and your husband to new levels in Him... "Shalom"

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  53. Wow. This blog was...wow...realistic. Thank you SO much for helping us to realize that marriage isn't like on tv, shoot the marriages on TV ain't all they're cracked up to be too. Thanks for allowing us a look into your marriage. People want to look at the wedding photos and the photos of you two together and be like awwww they're the PERFECT married couple! Shoot... you sqaushed that theory right quick. Marriage takes work. It's a ministry. It's two people coming together as ONE. God has also given me a first-hand look into marriage, and I mean up close and PERSONAL and I'll just say that I'm not ready for marriage lol... thanks again for the informative, inspiring blog.

    P.S. Do you have a book out yet? If not, you have GOT to get to writing. I LOVE the way you write.

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  54. This is honest wisdom. Gives me hope. Thanks for sharing.

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  55. May God continue to bless you both! You both are an inspiration x

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  56. I love your blog and I share it with anyone who will listen. I needed to read this for sure I am getting married in 52 days so this is great and on time. Please pray for us as we near our wedding day. Praise God for you and your husband !!

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  57. This post is beautiful! Congratulations :) I look forward to hearing about your 5th, 10th, 25th, 50th, and 50+ wedding anniversaries!

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  58. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. I truly loved your blog. A few years ago I wrote a similar blog about the lessons I had learned from being married for 9 years from my perspective as a husband. http://marriage.whysideas.com/2010/05/marriage-9-years9-lessons/ Seems like you are ahead of the game. I pray for your continued growth in grace, peace, and obedience.

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  59. Thank God for you all. You are a Heaven sent. You have blessed many people Im sure.

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  60. I love this and your ministry! women need to hear this and know their roles! your ministry reminds me of EX ministries, their weekly broadcast preaches similarly and is very eye opening and spot on much like yours. Have you heard of them? You should check them out!

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  61. Hello. I love your blog, especially this one. I have a totally irrelevant question. Is your middle name really Love? I wouldn't be surpised if it was. Just curious. Be blessed.

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  62. Praise the name of the LORD!! How beautiful! The Lord is faithful and will give you many years together... Celebrating our 7th anniversary this October and am greatly humbled by God's goodness!!

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  63. Hey Heather, congrats on your and Cornelius two anniversary.I've been following your blog since about January.I've watched God work in some pretty amazing ways this past year too.One thing that I really love what you talk about is how date and wait on Christ for the right man.I know you mentioned in your story that you took a break from dating.A sabbatical?I feel as if I need to take one.I've been praying about and feel frustrated with current road blocks.I'm not just confused with potential mates,but family and personal issues as well.What advice would you give for me about taking a break from dating to improve my walk with Christ?I would like it to be for the next four month.should it be longer?

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  64. This is amazing, my anniversary is in December and there is so much divine wisdom in what you have shared. Thank you for the insightful words.

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  65. Great lessons. I learned some of those as well, but unfortunately my marriage did not work out and we are getting a divorce. Repeated infidelity has a way of hindering growth in those other areas you mentioned. Thank you for sharing because I will be keeping all this in mind for the future. PinkyPromise until then! :-)

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  66. Such a wonderful piece, it's absolutely beautiful. Long but worthy of the length. Thanks for sharing aa part of your life with so many.

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  67. This is excellent and what I appreciate most is your honesty... I been married 5 years and this is the first time I've read ANYTHING about marriage that was so candid... and relateable lol. Keep up the great work Heather. "Well done".

    Peace and blessing to you, Cornelius and Baby Lindsey :)

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  68. Extremely anointed post Mrs. Lindsey! I got married on August 11th and this is almost verbatim some of the things the Holy Ghost has been coaching me through. A big one tonight was LISTENING! lol! While he is talking, respect and honor him. Show him that you're listening and you care about what he has to say. And if you find it difficult (b/c maybe the topic may not be that interesting to you at the time) lean into Jesus for help! He will literally guide you through conversations. I LOVE JESUS!! You and Cornelius are so blessed. Continue in faith! Love you guys!

    - Katrece B

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  69. Heather, this post might just change my life. I am thanking God for leading me here today! You inspire me as a Christian, and as a wife! God bless you my sister!

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  70. I love this . Thank GOD for your obedience and your king Cornelius' obedience. You can definitely feel the anointing and genuine love in all your blogs. You remind me of Thecalla (I think I spelled it correct.) Praise GOD for your transparency also. And for being a woman of GOD that many young ladies like myself can be inspired by. Praying for you & your family more. Blessings on you!!

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  71. congratulations! my husband and i just celebrated 2 years. learning a lot of the same things :)

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  72. Thank you so much for sharing this! My husband and I have been married about a year and a half. I can truly relate to every point mentioned in this blog. This has helped me to evaluate myself and the things I can do to help make my marriage even greater!

    I have just recently learned about you and your blog, but am loving every word! Thank you for being you and helping women everywhere!

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  73. As I approach my 2nd anniversary in 12 days, this is just what I needed to hear. God is amazing! I don't even know how I found this blog. You're officially in my favorite list!

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  74. HA!!!! Thanks for writing this post! My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years (Praise Jesus) and you are right, with God it gets easier. Thanks for sharing. Be blessed.

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  75. Hello Heather. I just want to say I thank God for using you in these areas of marriage......It will be 2yrs for me and my hubby in March 3....So after reading this I have become more excited and encouraged to go forth in fighting to keep my marriage strong...We are also saints of the most high God and its a blessing for us to be in our early young 20's and have willing hearts to serve God... I want to just thank you please keep this going because as a young wife and a soon to be mother, We need all the spiritual advice we can get....God bless you and your hubby!

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  76. I love your honesty and allowing your life to be a ministry for the Kingdom of God. May God bless you and your husband. I know you do not post anything without the Holy Spirit directing you. I feel it. Please continue to be led by him. May God protect and you and your family forever. Amen.

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