Monday, April 30, 2012

"WHERE is my ADAM?!?!"



Ever asked yourself this question? I get this question a TON from my sisters in Christ. They are trying to be patient as they watch everybody else change their relationship status on Facebook from .. Single.. to "In a Relationship" to "Engaged" & then "Married"-- and every summer they dread getting fifty million wedding invitations. 

You could be serving Jesus with ALL of your heart and pushing a certain age. As the world around you seems to be skipping off in the wind, you may feel like WHEN is my time GOD??! WHEN is my ADAM going to WAKE up and find me???!  God, I serve you-- I LIVE for you-- I serve in the church, I'm a virgin or a born again virgin-- I'm turning down these guys left and right because they are a hot mess and they're sorta saved. I mean, I deserve a great guy. I want kids, I want to start a family, I'm a good catch! WHAT is the issue GOD??!??! You may paste.. a smile on your face but deep down, its a lingering question in your heart. At times, you get down about it every now and then. My beautiful sister in Christ.. I want to encourage you-- YOU are being PREPARED for not just a man-- but the very PURPOSE you were being created for. It's much bigger than you having a pair of thighs in your bed. 
So if you ever asked yourself this question. I pray that this encourages you.

If you don't understand what I mean about your Adam waking up.. check this out these quick summaries:

Genesis 2:18- “It’s NOT good for man to be alone—I’m going to create a help meet for him.” (ladies, I didn’t write it—God did) YOU’RE a HELP-MEET. God has placed so many beautiful gifts inside of you to HELP your man to fulfill everything that God has called him to do. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a career or a life as I work an own a consulting company where I work full time and I’m in ministry full time.  The above scripture doesn’t say—I’m going to create a leader for him. So stop trying to run your man. (I’ll blog about the 2012 woman at later time)

Then, Adam gave PURPOSE to every thing in verse 19, 20 and went on and named all of the animals. He called them a name with a PURPOSE. Which means.. that if you’re in a relationship that doesn’t carry a purpose, you probably shouldn’t be in it.

Let’s get to the meat of your “Adam.”

“Vs. 21- And the Lord God caused a DEEP sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and took one of his ribs & closed up the flesh thereof; vs. 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man. Vs. 23 And Adam said, “THIS is now bone of my bone & flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of man—therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother & cleave to his wife.”

Ok—so the ABOVE scripture tells me that EVE did nothing in light of pursing Adam. She didn’t have to SWITCH all hard past him, dress half naked, sleep with him, tell him that “HE was gonna be her hussssband” or anything else. God PREPARED her behind the scenes and when she was FULLY prepared—God presented her perfectly for Adam and guess what—ADAM recognized her!! He wasn’t confused with her & the billy goat or the horse—He KNEW that Eve was his wife. There was no question. So run from the man that is confused about who he wants to be with. You are NOT someone’s option. YOUR Adam will quickly recognize YOU & take action to lock you in because he will SEE your great value and worth. He wouldn’t dare do anything to mess up the relationship because he wouldn’t want to lose you OR see you go to another “Adam.”




So the above tells me that …

  1. Every relationship that you do have—should have purpose, whether male or female. (And no, guys & girls cannot be friends—I blogged about it here)
  2.  You should stop settling for a bunch of randoms that want to date you when convenient. You’re trying to fill VOIDS that can only be filled by CHRIST. So, just stop it.
  3.  If you have to sit and question a guy—he aint the one.
  4.  God is the best matchmaker—HE organizes & prepares OUR life for His glory.
  5.  Your Adam is in a DEEP sleep & that’s why HE hasn’t FOUND you.
  6.  When God wakes him up—you both will be able to recognize each other.
  7.  Calm down
  8.  Ladies, you’re a help meet—You’re supposed to HELP him—why are you trying to help a  wanna-be-rapper with no job, no vision, no future and 5 baby mamas?
  9. You are to help him to accomplish the purpose of God over your life.. not helping to each other to your bodies prior to marriage.
  10. You cannot wake up your Adam—clearly, God put Adam in a deep sleep & woke his tail up.


So now that we see all of that—STOP going around and trying to wake up your Adam! STOP trying to get him to see your body, hips, and thighs and focus on spending time with CHRIST and letting CHRIST develop this crazy inner beauty about you. And I aint trying to toot my own horn because I WAS a straight train wreck while I was single but one thing I did do—was spend crazy time with God. As you spend this crazy time with Him.. He begins to put this light on you, an anointing. I made spending time with God a PRIORITY every SINGLE day—I would pour out, get on my face, pray often, meditate on scriptures like it was fresh water & I stalked Jesus. MEN were DRAWN to my anointing. Yeah, they probably thought I was cute too—but there’s a ton of “cute” not saved women out there. It was the CHRIST in me that they were drawn TO. When guys would meet me—they would say that they were so drawn to me  & wanted to run off in the wind & get married. Thus, it made it harder to weed them out & stay focused on Christ because I HAD them banging down my door. Now—let me also say this—they weren’t WHAT I knew I was supposed to be with, thus—I never dated them.

You may be in a situation where you feel like no guys call you or try to talk to you. Trust me—this is even better then having fifty million randoms banging down your door. IT is very distracting. In the midst of the randoms.. I just knew that God had the right one for me. Of course, I could have married ANY of them.. but I just KNEW that there was one that I would go & start a ministry with and travel all over this crazy world & share Christ.  God told me my purpose in 2003 after we had a date night together. He told me that I would travel all over this world & preach the gospel and that millions of people will come into the knowledge of WHO He is through me & my husband’s ministry. Now—I had just broke up with my little boyfriend from college so I was thinking—wow! I have a huge standard. Just can’t marry anybody.

I want to encourage you sisters. Satan is after your mindset. He wants you to think that you’ll be like sister so & so & single your whole life. He wants you to think that you’ll never get married. He wants you to think that you’ll be too old to have kids, He wants you to believe his stupid LIES. IF you believe his lies, you’ll be WAY too wrapped up & distracted to do what God called you to do. You’ll serve in church but deep down, your heart will hurt & you’ll grow frustrated. I want to challenge you to have JOY RIGHT NOW. No matter what season you’re in!! Some of you may think that.. it’s “easy” for me to say that because I’m married but my DUE date for marriage was August 14th 2010. YOU have a due date for marriage that has been PRE-ARRANGED by Christ.. and there’s NOTHING you can do right NOW to make that time come any quicker. Being pissed off at God & everyone else who is getting married sure won’t make that season come any sooner. So, dear daughters of Jesus.. rest sis. God loves you. He’s with you. He cares for you. He hasn’t forgotten about you. Your Adam will wake up in DUE time but that just can no longer be the focus of your mindset & cares. If you DRILL in your head that you’re going to trust God and HIS timing & be determined to enjoy life.. YOU will. If you drill in your head .. stupid love songs & stalking your ex boyfriends new life & girlfriend on his facebook page, you’re going to be sad & down. Keep your eyes on your OWN grass & water that grass.. clean it up… make it pretty. Let God develop beautiful gifts & areas into your heart. Pass some tests. Stop being so darn emotional. Surround yourself around positive women. Stop going to the club to finds you a man. STOP having sex with randoms.  Stop complaining about your “time.” Bring something to the table of your one-day marriage besides discontentment your entire single life.

I also taught a message called "How to be a Woman After God's Own Heart"-- & I taught the above & so much more!! check it out here. 

God wants ALL of you.

He LOVES you like crazy,


Heather Lindsey






118 comments:

  1. oh wow heather i needed this. Tank you so much sometimes I get so anxious when I really like a guy. Pray for me my sister

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  2. My Gosh!! This blog hit the nail right on the head. Heather, those bible verses couldn't have been explained any better. Thanks for this blog, I understand that God sure has a DUE time for all things. As it says in His word, He has an appointed time. Keep up the good work, and May God continue to water the garden of your marriage; it will remain fruitful in Jesus' name.

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    1. I second that notion! This post was a great BLESSING!!! Just what i needed to READ today!!! GOD is an PERFECT GOD...when patience has her PERFECT work... ALL THINGS are PERFECT in YESHUA!!! I will bless the LORD his PRAISES shall forever be IN MY HEART!!! THANKS A MILLION!!!

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    2. Now am wondering who you are and how you know me? lol I came to this site from another blog site and damn girl you couldn't have said it any better! I'm at a point in my life where I'm 100% sure that God is calling me into something different which at times scares because I just know its to serve Him, I have no idea how but whatever it is i'm willing to do it I want to make him first not just by words but really do it and I know He will take care of the rest. If you ever get a chance to minister in Champaign-Urbana, IL I will host you just email me!

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  3. i'm the one that so many guys is drawn too bcus of my anointing!! it gets so annoying!! but thank you so much for clearing things up! i really needed this!

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  4. Thank you so much for this!!

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  5. i so needed to hear this . i swear i was just getting down and out b/c i cant seem to get over my ex.. i need to know how to get over him.. i want to .. ive been prayinh on it for a year now

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    1. i am in the same boat like exactly..it took me a while to realize that it was not God that kept putting us bak together so now, I am dealing with moving on and not thinking about him. I will keep you in my prayers! and i hope u do the same for me.

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    2. I am ALSO in the same boat! trying to get over my ex. it's SO hard, especially when we live in the same neighborhood & attend the SAME church...that his new girlfriend goes to now as well. I STAY in prayer and i will pray for you both as well! we can do this! :) Our REAL Adam, is sleeping peacefully as we prepare our hearts and set our minds on CHRIST ONLY.

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    3. ha! ha! Same here. Trying to get over the ex who God told me several times was not the right one. But I kept trying to make it work. My friend pointed me to this blog and it is giving me hope to wait.I need daily reminders! Wait on the Lord.

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    4. I have same issue as everyone above!! ;( still trying to get over and stop going back and forth, when I Know God does not want this! I will keep all of you guys in my prayers. Pray for me as well.

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  6. Whoahhhh!
    Thank God for this
    As I was reading this a 'random' texted me
    I was given the strength to look at it and ignore it entirely

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  7. Patience is the art of learning to wait well. As daughters of GOD, DADDY wants to make sure HE has our entire everything before HE can "wake up Adam" to become Lord of our lives. HE is making sure "Adam" is ready as much as we are. All of it takes time hence why patience is a virtue. Keep up ur awesome work of GOD Mrs. Lindsey!! Praying for you and your husbands strength with the amazing calling placed upon the life HE lives through you both. I love you & love this blog, such an awesome source of LIGHT for HIS glory. Muah xoxoxoxo :o)

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  8. My question is... not eveyone gets married. How do you know if you are called to singnless or not. Don't you think sometimes a guy has to wait for a girl to "wake up" as well. Do you think some people called to marrage stay single because they are disobeying God? Do you think all events in life are pre arranged... where does free will play into that? Those were just random thoughts that popped into my head while reading.

    Now for my actual comment... this is a great article! I sometimes feel like I will be single forever and its hard to trust God in that aria. Thanks for writing this.

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    1. Hey love!
      IF you have a desire to be married-- you will be. If you're cool with being single-- you won't entertain ANY "Adam's" and this won't apply :)

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    2. Anon I just wanted to let you know that it is totally ok not to desire to get married. Maybe it's just the timing...when God's time comes you will desire it and it will apply to you.

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  9. why are you so pretty? some fashion and beauty tips, please.

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    1. lol! I blogged my top favorite beauty secrets last year! :) Do a search on them!! Thanks for your kind words!

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  10. Wow wow wow...when I say I needed to read this! I had a conversation tonight with a man of God who heard me say, "soon I'll be too old to have children" and he was like, "don't put a limit to what God can do" and this brought up mention of Sarah (Gen. 17:17)...anyway, thank you for being real while also ministering from the Word! It's helping some of get through break ups and the daily ho-hum that we may feel at times with single life. But at the end of the day, I for one want what God has for me! So I shall be patient and focus on being a better me until my Adam has been awakened :) thanks again!!

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  11. Thank Mrs. Lindsey God bless you...I needed to hear this I love Jesus & I need to spend more time with Him....& stop worrying about my future.

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  12. :) I just get so excited and encouraged after reading your blogs!!! I swear, coming across you was all orchestrated by God. He knew my heart and knew that this was EXACTLY what I would need.

    I am grateful
    xox www.cindy-saul.blogspot.com

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  13. Thank you so much this blog was a breath of fresh air!

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  14. I recognised my Adam.......I knew it was him, but alas worldliness drove me to an early marriage with someone else!!!!!! My Adam is presently married...... While my own marriage is on the rocks...... There's no one as complicated as me I guess :-| I'm just sOoooooo messed up, and I want him back!!!!!!!

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    1. Hey love, Paul tells us in Philippians to be CONTENT in every season that we're in. If your eyes are on your ex-- your marriage will never have a fair chance. So decide RIGHT now that you will stop comparing & contrasting and that you will give your marriage a fighting chance! A human cannot fill your void-- WHAT we really need is GOD-- not anyone or anything else. GIVE your many cares to God daily-- spend time with Him. YOU married who you thought was the right one.. and now you have some work to do. Buy the "Love Dare" book & do your part! Spend crazy time with God, and block everything about the ex (his Facebook ,twitter etc) Move ON. xoxo

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  15. Love the blog, very encouraging to women and young ladies of all ages.Sometimes God places people, articles, circles and other vices in our lives to be that still voice hes is that we sometimes neglect. Thanks for being a still voice:

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  16. Wow...I really needed to read this message. Thank you for sharing this!

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  17. Heather Lindsey-- you preached this thang girl!!!!!!!!!' whew! I swear you jumped all up in my heart and mind on this one! Bless you for your obedience! I'm printing this, saving it on my phone, iPad and wish I could tattoo it on my hand! LOL! Definetly will be reading daily for inspiration. I thank God for the preperation he is doing in me and my ADAM, I will NOT be waking him up before its time:) Bless u girl!

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  18. Interesting blog as always Heather, but how do I get over someone and just be patient. Broke up with my ex 7 months ago, and still I can't get over him, he was the person I was the most happy with and now it's gone. I have a relationship with God and everything but I still long for human interaction.

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    1. Hey love,
      I can totally understand as I have BEEN there!! Have you checked out my blog on it? It's called- We Just Broke Up, Now What??! http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.com/2012/02/we-just-broke-up-now-what.html

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  19. Heather, This article is right on time. Myyy goodness! Thanks for sharing and encouraging us.

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  20. Heather lindsay you and your ministry are beyond a blessing to sooo many, including myself! You provide proof and inspiration how the word of God is still relevant and the answer to change lives! Amen!!

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  21. I love this so so so much! Great insight!

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  22. Wow!! I am so encouraged after reading this. I must admit I get anxious and forget that God has perfect timing and that everything must and will be done in decency and in order. Thank you so much for this post. I am truly renewed this morning as I WAIT for my Adam!!

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  23. As always, your words are an inspiration. Even to other married women like me. It reminds me of the fight that we have to maintain for the blessing of marriage that God has given me. Believe that married folk have to stop trying to "control" their relationship status just as well as single people do.If God has me and my husband going through a "season" of having to communicate better, then guess what, we have to walk it out with Him and stop trying to act like all is well. I would love for you to do an article on what being a SUBMISSIVE wife and true HELP-MEET looks like Heather. It will not only allow those that are already in a marriage to see what it looks like but also for those that have the desire of marriage on their hearts to be prepared. Love you for your heart for us ladies!!!

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  24. Omg!! Heather u just do not realize how this blessed me!! I weeped and weeped!! I love u for sharing!!!

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  25. Hey Heather! I absolutely loved everything about this article! It really helped tremendously!! My question is, what about people who say that God does not choose our mate and that WE have to make that choice, as long as they are saved and really livin for God...is that true? Should we choose our own mate as long as they are really saved or does God really want us to let Him put us with someone?

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    1. Of course.. we have a RIGHT to choose. It doesn't make that choice right. YOU have a right to obey God's leading & peace when He tries to lead you.. or you can ignore it & settle & marry a random. WE know when we're disobeying God. God will literally DIRECT you & show you who you should marry. Again, you don't have to.. but it's WISE to always obey HIm. xo

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    2. Thank u sis. I pray tt me n my ADAM will be obedient to God's guidance. P.s God showed me my ADAM in a dream n i recognised him but hes still deep asleep. God opened alot doors bt he nvr take action. But im still trusting God n spend beautiful precious time with Him. I dont want to doubt if my ADAM will ever recognise me. (:

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  26. Perfect and on time ( just like God ) Thank you :)

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  27. Ummm, this is such a good read.
    Question though: I have these men in my Church going through other people (my Pastor and ministers) to get my number and information, saying that the reason why they don't come to me by themselves is because they think I am "a snob, and unapproachable".(So why do you even want to talk to me then?!! Rolling my eyes) Anywho,do you think that I should make myself more "approachable"? You've stated above that when a man wants something he goes for it. I also get a lot of "She's stuck up" "She thinks her S**t don't stink" and honestly I do not think this is true at all, I just have high standards and don't want to settle... I just want to know what you think about this. Any other contributions are more than welcome!

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    1. Hey love--
      I recommend that you read "Humility" by Andrew Murray. If EVERYONE is saying the same thing-- it may be something worth looking at. I don't know you but I do know that if 3-4 people bring up the same thing.. it may be true. It doesn't HAVE to stay true-- but sometimes our hurt pasts make us put a guard up around our hearts and push us to act a certain way. Its OK to have standards. I had standards too.. but I was gentle and warm-- I wanted CHRIST to pour out of me & I wanted to help others. Ask God to show you yourself & make your heart look like His. You WANT to be approachable to bring people to Christ & it's so much bigger than a spouse. Smile on purpose and get to the root of why people may think you act that way. I'm not saying that they're right but if you TRUST those people that are saying those things, it's worth looking at. At one point in my life-- my close friends and family told me that when I get mad, I cut people with my words. I learned that .. maybe they were right and I need to stop pushing trigger points and then cutting people with my words & speak life instead. Praying for you. xo

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  28. Yahooo! Thank you Jesus for the perfect Due date!

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  29. This article was right on time!!!!!

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  30. My name is Mercedes-Just want to say thank you SOOOOO much for letting God use you. I really needed to read this today. I'm at that place where every man that approaches me is what I call a "Reject" or an "Unqualified". And what you said about it getting harder to weed them out is so true because I just met a guy this past weekend. In the church-ARMOR BARER to the Pastor and their ministry is moving to my city. I prayed about it ernestly and asked God to protect me, show me what I couldn't see but needed to know. I decided to do some research and how about I found his mug shot on google!! He was arrested two years ago for sexual battery and battery of women! I said all of this to say that your blog was so on time and I plan to read it again lol Like you said, I could settle and get married right now but I know these Randoms aren't who God has spoken to me about and shown me in dreams...so I'm waiting. It just gets very hard when you are minding your own business and then BAM a Reject drive by! UUUGH...Anyway I am determined to continue living for the Lord and focusing on ministry. I guess I'm just not as prepared as I would like to believe that I am. lol Its like everytime I make my peace with it all and find contentment something happens to try and steal it all away. Please keep me in prayer that I can remain in the secret hiding place of the Lord until His time for me to be seen by the one He created me for has come. Thanks again & God bless!

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    1. Wow!! I'm SO glad that God protected you in that way! Praise God! I will pray for you honey! I believe that God will continue to show you the way! xo

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  31. Great post!! I had looked over your post earlier...and talked or more like complained to God about everyone who was not living right is being blessed. So of course I was redirected to actually read the post, ponder, and then pray!! Timely word!!

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  32. You are NOT someone’s option" ... That line really struck me because throughout my last relationship my ex kept talking about how many other "options" he had. I always felt like I was just picked from a list and that he didn't feel I was the person he was meant to be with. Thank you for reminding me that I AM NOT AN OPTION!and that God's best is waiting for me , as I am for him. Crissy

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  33. Awesome! I really enjoyed it. Until my Adam is awaken I will be still........

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  34. Thank you HEATHER!!! Yahvah(God) tell us in his word Ivri/Hebrew 12:22 that we have innumerable angels at our command. I bless the LORD for you writing this post! It is exactly what I needed to read. I am the girl who idolized my own situation and with low self-esteem I made the foolish decisions to give into sex before marraige. It was my annointing I understand now that created the light that men always see in me. I had men try many things to get my hand in marraige and many profess as you stated that I am their wife. It has made it a laborious journey to wait on God for his personal ISH/ADAM that he designed ESPECIALLY for ME and my two sons. I have met him and he has made that confession; but sin allows the ENEMY to linger around our blessings. I HAVE A CRAZY PRAISE FOR THE MOST HIGH and HE NOW HAS ALL OF ME!!! ... I realize through this prophectic teaching that you HAVE been set upon high by GOD ALMIGHTY to be a BLESSING. I realized that my ADAM has been put to sleep and now I can continue on PRAISING MY LORD and preparing for my DUE date in VICTORY. I feel BLESSED to at least KNOW who HE IS!!! At least I am praying that IF it IS GOD'S will that HE WILL MAKE THE RIGHT CONFESSIONS of LOVE FOR ME and our two sons AGAIN. ...Thanking for sharing your wisdom. Every wise WOMAN buildeth UP her HOUSE but the FOOLISH plucketh it down with her MOUTH! - I encourage ALL my SISTERS in CHRIST to KEEP PROFESSING THEIR FAITH AND LOVE TO THE MOST HOLY GOD!!!

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  35. P.S. this will be on my FAVORITES list for BLOGS! YAAAH!!! :)

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  36. THANK YOU FOR SHARING, MUCH LOVE & BLESSINGS SIS. -Steph Virtuous

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  37. The Holy spirit is amazing. This very specific topic has been the burden of my heart the last two weeks and you've just answered my the question. Thank you.

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  38. Hi Heather Lindsey,

    What did you do or what do you do during your date nights with God??

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    1. We would go to the movies.. I would cook & watch a movie.. brunch.. go work out.. go study.. go get ice cream! Anything you would do with a human! :)

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  39. My friend turned me on to your blog last year, and I've been logging in every week or so. This post, more than any other, really spoke to me and I thank you for sharing what God has put in your heart to share. I will be 32 years old in July, and I have a cousin who's not saved and is getting married in June, and I have another cousin who's not saved who's married and is expecting her second child. I am sincerely happy with my life and I am happy for them, but I am constantly being criticized by family members for not getting hitched yet. They tell me if only I did so and so with my appearance, then maybe. Or you know, if I went here and there, etc. It's gotten to a point where I don't want to hang around them anymore and it hurts. I think what is happening, and I tell myself this all of the time, is that I've been ignoring the devil's lies as you've described above, and I encourage myself by saying that God has someone out there for me, and one day he'll find me. Since I'm ignoring "the father of all lies" the devil is using the people I love the most, my family members, to get to me. *sigh* It won't work! So anyway, thanks for encouraging me by sharing this Word with us.

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  40. A lady in my Bible study group shared your blog with all of us and OMG I love it! Thank you for your words, and your revelations. As a single woman who is getting over a past of co-dependence, promiscuity, and dysfunctional relationships, I am learning to pour all of that passion and love into my Lord and not into unworthy boyfriends.
    God is Good.

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    1. Aw! Thanks for taking the time to come to my blog after your study! And Praise God! I'm excited about what God is doing in your heart! Appreciate you sis!

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  41. I've been praying and asking God to help me to be sensitive to his voice.... And I know that one way to know that you've heard from God is through confirmation... Just last week my sister and I were talking about men and relationships, and she was saying that the man for you will "recognize" you as his wife, just as Adam recognized Eve... It's as if you were right there with us... It's kinda scary, lol, but I'm glad that I'm starting to really HEAR God...Thank you for allowing God to use you, may He continue to bless your ministry!

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  42. I ♥ this. Not only does it speak truth, but it speaks God's truth. Today I read a few of your blogs for the first time, and let me just say im a fan now :)). God Bless you sis!

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  43. Glenda MatthewsMay 3, 2012 at 9:00 AM

    OMG! A dear friend sent me the link to this blog and it had me in TEARS! SO ENCOURAGING! Fighting not to be weary in well doing! My Expectation Rose

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  44. Heather,

    Where have you been all my life? My God, your blog is refreshing! There's been so much impartation from the Holy Spirit through your blog, and I wanted to encourage you to continue to be a bonafide, trustworthy, exemplary vessel for women (and men alike). God was dealing with me months (years even) prior to my knowledge of your blog, but so many things have been confirmed since I began to read it.

    1) True contentment is found in knowing who God is, then knowing His investment in you so that you can be the best you for the kingdom; your family/friends and yourself.

    2) Marriage involves two whole persons coming together as one. Don't expect what you're not capable of contributing. That's why it's imperative that you closely examine your walk with God as a single. Asking God to send you someone who will be everything you aren't (and ain't trying to be) is both selfish and absurd. This is a preparation period that can either be immensely beautiful and rewarding, or dreadfully unfulfilling. I choose to be fulfilled in God so that even after marriage, absolutely NO ONE has the power to take that away from me.

    3) You gotta know you really well before you expect someone else to know the real you. Masquerading as a perpertrator hurts you more than those around you. Learn to love and like you!That one took some time, but thank God I finally got it.

    4) Patience must have it's perfect work, and godliness with contentment truly is GREAT gain.

    5) It's hard to be honest with others when you aren't consistently honest with God and yourself. There's liberty in truth.

    I'm a a grand prize [not a Cracker Jack counterfeit] and that's what I expect to attract. NO RANDOMS! God bless you, your marriage, and ministry. Have a spectacular day!

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    1. Ah! I LOVE this summary! AMAZING! It's perfectly said. Appreciate you & I'm excited about what God is doing in your heart! <3

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  45. Thanks so much for your uplifting and encouraging blogs. I bought my cross and no randoms bracelet and I love them both! I will be buying from you soon. Thanks again, this post put a smile on my face and the strength to move forward!

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  46. Amen. Amen. And amen again.....

    Thank you!

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  47. I have to be honest. This really hurt and I guess because there is so much truth to it. I have a big issue trusting God with picking the right one for me because so many men in the church has cheated. I have family members who have done so. I don't want to admit it but you walked all up and through my world just now. I have to say thank you. This is something I will pass on to others and reread weekly because it is that deep. Please pray for my strength and that I will sit back, stop trying to control everything and let God do his thing.

    Heather WOW!

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  48. Dear Sister in Christ,
    This was a really wonderful post, I've shared with my friends and we've all been blessed...but I have some misgivings.

    My problem is that I see soooooo many sisters who are developing themselves and living a life worthy of the Gospel and they're getting older and older and older. Sometimes their parents begin to worry when they hit those mid 30s, which is understandable, you want your child to have a stable family life as you get older.

    And, of course, plenty of women who are not together and not living a righteous life can easily find a husband. I read this article from a woman (who i doubt was saved) and she had even gotten married 3 times! lol

    See, I can understand saying that these things are lies from the Devil, but at the same time, I can't really ignore the reality of what my sisters are facing. It's just hard because on the one hand, I encourage my sisters and I believe that God is in control...but at the same time, after a while, those words can sound empty to my fellow sisters in Christ.

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  49. Hey Heather,
    I recently have encounter a problem with a young man that I've known for a month and I feel this rare connection with him mentally and spiritually. Not only is he this sweet, intelligent and loving gentlemen he has a one issue about him that took me for a long run...He's still in love with his ex girlfriend. We went on a 3 dates and texted everyday and then one day it all came to a stop..I got on FB one day and found that went from single into a in a relationship stat on his page..I felt crushed..I then texted him and even called and he said he was sorry and he doesnt mean to hurt me and he doesnt want our realtionship to change..and I told him we could be friends but I see now I cant be friends.. I now find myself hurt because I really like this man and even think that I may have fallen in love with him...I feel like someone handed me a gift and then one day took it back from me..I wish I could just walk away but for some reason its so hard to let go...I dont understand..when I call he answers and when I text he texts back..He's not ignoring me but I really wish I knew if he is intended to be with me and right now is just not our time or he's not inteded for me and I really need to find a way to move on..I even pray on it but Im really confused at this point..what should I do? :/

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  50. Thank you so much for this post. It is an absolute blessing and came at the perfect time. I just broke up with a guy I was honestly starting to think was the one. He was doing and saying all the right things. And then suddenly he was confused about me and whether he really wants to be with me.
    I honestly believe that God has a perfect mate for me. But like most I do get tired of waiting and sometimes I start doubting. This post and many others on your blog are encouraging me to wait for God's best. God bless you for your inspired words

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  51. Thank you so much for your words of sound wisdom. I really do appreicate it. God dealt with me about four weeks ago when I ran into an old friend. We never dated or anything but, I really was hurt when the friendship fizzled without any explanation for him. I wanted so badly to text him and talk to him some more but God spoke to me and told me that there wasn't anything for me. At the moment I had to trust God and believe that He will one day send me My Adam! This blog has been an added encouragement to me during my season of singleness. Thank you, Heather!!!!

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  52. Heather I feel like this blog was written just for me!! I needed to hear this- thanl you for writing this and thank you for your ministry. God bless <3

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  53. I been single for 2 years now n was broken from a man i was inlove with n he was my everything... so I thought! He broke my heart n dump me on fb after all we went through n how I was always there. for him even though i had my own issues. May 2010 was the last relationship I was n and if only u knew the story u would see how hurt I was but God step n and told me that he is true Love n stop running to a man n making him ur whole world as if that man is God. So than I told God I surrender myself to him n wait on the man he has pick out for me b/c I know my worth n no longer act as roll as if I'm a wife n other words stop doing permanent things with temporary ppl. So.now I move to another state by myself done with college for over a year now with my degree n moving into my career n fasting on what GOD WANTS for my life which is helping young ladies. For some reason God has blocked my sight from seeing anyone attractive n gave me time to only see God so I figure when God sends him n wakes my Adam up I would know who he is because I fasted on him n pray he has a vision of God n all the desires of my heart n I give him back to God. Everyone says to. Me how gorgeous i am n why am i single n i say im not Gods my Man bby lol . I love the Lord I will be 25 soon n has not engaged n sexual activity a little over a year now n I truly believe God is cleansing me n purify me for him n my spouse. I just want to let u know how wonderful n encouraging this blog was to me n I love what God is doing, it may not always be comfortable but his purpose in our lives are far more greater than we cld ever imagin. I love u my sister n the Lord continue to be uplifted!

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  54. There's nothing that I can say that hasn't already been said.

    Please just know that yet ANOTHER has been blessed and encouraged by your words!

    May God continue to shower you with boldness & wisdom.

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  55. I am a man, about to come out of a relationship that went wrong with a lady. Thanks for the pointers, it makes sense to me now, why it was wrong for her to expose herself, deliberately press into my body...
    Not to say she was 100% responsible for our problems, but what is coming out is we are not a match, she is not my Eve.
    Thank you, Heather

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  56. I stumbled upon your blog and I believe that the Lord is using this to speak to me. I have been going through a lot lately and I am viewing it as Gods way of teaching me and those who know my situation a lesson. I am trying to keep the faith that he has made someone just for me and that HIS time is not MY time and when I'm ready for him I will find him. But I continue to have a nagging fear that I will be alone forever and never have a family of my own. I see now that the devil is putting that fear in my heart and even though I have some major flaws God has not and will not forsake me. He brought me to this blog to show me to continue to wait and lean on him better my relationship with him then when my Adam comes I will be ready and I will now how to appreciate him. Thank you for writing this!

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  57. Babyyyyyyy, if I tell you this is right on time, my sistah!!! Thank you for sharing!

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  58. Okay I need the answer to this question because I've been struggling with it: is there really ONE person God has in mind for us or are there a few Adams that we could marry? PLEASE reply. Thanks!

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  59. How proactive are single Christian women supposed to be? Should we try to place ourselves in a pool of Adams (ie online dating) or just sit down? I mean, are we supposed to really believe Adam will knock on our apartment door?

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    1. I'm not a huge fan of online dating. Yes, I know it has worked for some but I don't recommend it. Those websites seek to match you with someone who is JUST like you and usually GOD matches you with someone who opposite of your personality so you both can make up for each other's weaknesses. (ie. great with money, horrible with money, extrovert-- introvert). When we live for Christ HE leads & guides our paths. My best friend met her husband in a parking lot while she was registering for school. You never KNOW. Instead, our focus should be seeking Christ.

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    2. Thanks for answering my question. I have heard from Christian dating experts that we need to be "out there" so to speak to not make things extra difficult for God. Now, obviously, the God who created the universe can do anything even cause a knock on my apartment door. However, that's probably not realistic. I don't belong to worldly online dating sites but there is a Christian site that I belong to with over 2000 marriages to their credit. The people on there are more serious. Now, I'm not saying that's the path that will work but it has opened my eyes that there are chaste Christian men out there! But you are right--the number one thing is to spend time with Christ and when He says it's time, it will be time.

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  60. This message couldn't have came to me at a better time in my life. I've recently broke up with my boyfriend because of the drama that kept coming up from his past and etc... I was so hurt and filled with pain, sadness, and angry because it felt like everytime I would trust whom ever I'm dating and let my guard down then once again my heart would be broken into a million pieces. Let me tell you it's not easy trusting again once you've been hurt badly by someone that you loved so deeply. I was giving up on every getting married or having kids but then I remembered what was promised to me from God... About five years ago I was told that I would marry a pastor and would travel the world spreading the gospel... After reading your blog I will continue to pray, have my date nights with God, and WAIT PATIENTLY on my Adam because I know that His promise to me is coming to past. I will not settle for less then what I'm entitled to have from God... Please keep me in pray ladies to stay encouraged until my Adam awakes!!!!

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  61. I must say that your response to the online dating post was perfect! You didn't bash online dating or the people who choose to go that route. "Those websites seek to match you with someone who is JUST like you and usually GOD matches you with someone who opposite of your personality so you both can make up for each other's weaknesses. (ie. great with money, horrible with money, extrovert-- introvert)." Perfectly stated! It also gave me insight into my own relationship and gave me a better understanding of how being opposite from your mate isn't such a bad thing. Thank you!

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  62. Heather,
    I am 18 years old and have recently been feeling convicted whenever i would jokingly say "i need a boyfriend" or "I have ___ years to hurry up and get married". Reading this blog was exactly what the Lord wanted me to hear!
    So many of us ladies get caught up in trying to stalk our Adams that we need to remember to just shut up and give it a rest.
    Our Adam will come for US(me) When GOD wakes him UP.
    In the mean time, I have to remain focused on the Lord and getting closer to Him so that when my Adam rises- God will be able to use both of us 100%.

    Wow. I am blessed so much by this blog and by everything you are doing Heather. I am a young girl and although i don't know you physically, I KNOW you because I know your heart- it is so evident that it is for the Lord and for ministry-. Thank you for encouraging me by loving God.
    Thank YOU for being obedient to his calling, You have inspired me to continue to do the same.

    I live in Chicago and I have a documentary tv series coming out in the fall on WEtv called "High School Confidential". It is a documentary/reality show that followed me and other girls through our high school career. I know that God placed me on that show for a reason- the reason being to show how it is like to have a relationship with Christ no matter how young- I would love the support and I just wanted to let you know!

    contact me on twitter.com/marycardenas31
    love you girl!

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  63. For the past hour I've been sitting and reading your posts. Being a young woman who is also called into women's ministry, and with many recent changes in my life (similar to what this as well as many other posts have mentioned), THANK YOU.
    Thank you for being honest and REAL with your readers while still ultimately presenting the truth of who God is.
    Blessings to you, your husband, and your ministry, which at the end of the day as you've made clear, is His :)

    email: jessb246@gmail.com
    Twitter: @jessiedbrown

    PS: I'll also be helping with the @PinkyPromiseORU and it'd be great to hear more from you!

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  64. Dear Heather,

    You seem very happy... hmm, let me rephrase that: positive -> full of faith. I wonder if you would have such a "positive/inspired/blablabla" attitude if you where a single christian woman (and chaste ofcourse) waiting for your "Adam" for 10+ years. You have NO idea honey... but then again, if it was not for the "blessed" like you there would not be blogs like this.

    I already know you won't post this... nevertheless some food for thought.

    God bless you even more... and more, and more.

    Yours truly,

    Ms. lonely, bored and worn-out (I'm sure that's my own fault somehow, right?).

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    1. There was a point.. where I was a single woman. I have experienced being lonely, rejected & everything else. Being bitter towards people that are married is a sure way to lengthen the time before you meet your husband. God desires for you to be content in every season, including the one that you're in. If you're unhappy single, you'll be unhappy married. I'm confident that you have no clue what I've been through.. thus, you would be surprised that I have a smile on my face. I paid the price for this smile & smiled when life was a train wreck. If you're bored, lonely & worn out.. GET up!! GOD has a plan for you as a single & its much greater than your martial status! Get busy about the things of God! Have FUN! Stop posting on married people's blog about how bitter you are and get up!! God has NOT forgotten about you! He loves you soooo much and this season is temporary. So spend crazy time with Him. Learn Him. Trust Him. He's with you.

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  65. Heather
    Did you write this for me? its exactly what i needed! God bless you gal

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  66. I thank God for finding out about your blogs. This could'nt have happened at a better time. I am sooooo encouraged by this beacuse I have been going through a period where I have been mad at God for making me wait so long for my Adam. The devil has continously been letting me know that I am the only one that God forgot about. But today I have learned that I need to wait patiently for God. He is still preparing me for Adama and when He is through He shall present me to my Adam. All I need is the Grace to wait. God bless you sister. You are a true blessing.

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  67. No randoms! Thank you and God bless you.

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  68. yohhhhh woooow you such an inspiration to me,like ive been asking wen will i meet the one if all the guys who tried pursuing me wer just not it..but now i know God's time is the best and i must stop looking and just refocus my mind and heart to God...thank you heather

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  69. Yes! Yes! Yes! I needed this like nobodys business! As a 32 year old single mom of 2 and never married, I ended a 7 year relationship that was headed towards marriage (ring bought, asked my dad for my hand) and it was the HARDEST and BEST thing God ever led me to do. He was a Christian but just because 2 people are saved doesn't mean it will.work. I have prayed about it and will continue to pray about it, but I'm realizing that marriage should not be the end game in life. My prayers have finally transitioned over to how can God use me during this season of singleness, how can He sanctify me during this season, and how can I serve? I realized that i had been doubting God before, like He didn't have a plan that was specific for me. I know that's not true, but at first that's what I struggled with. But when you take your "feelings" and hold them up to the TRUTH of God's word, you'll see that God does have a plan, He is in control and He does hear us, and has the POWERr to ACT as He sees fit. I had to recognize the fact that by not trusting Him I was not believing wholeheartedly in what my God can.accomplish in my life. So that's where I am today. Still single, but trusting, serving, and waiting. Some days are easier than others, but i am now RESTING in my singleness. If I get married someday, i dont want to look back and wish I could have done more for God while I had the chance. Singleness is a ministry, just like marriage is. God is faithful and is so good! Bless you all, sisters!

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  70. Where in the Bible does it say that God will BRING one a spouse? Everywhere I've looked talks about "finding" or "looking" or "being found". Don't we have to go fishing if we want a fish? Should we trust God to bring us a job but stay home and not look?

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    1. Hi Rhonda67, I understand your question. The man is always the pursuer. Proverbs 18:22 specifically says,"HE who FINDS a WIFE..." Not she. Just as Heather explained in the above article & her husband Cornelius explains in many of his blogs & sermons, Eve was presented to Adam by GOD. Even Jacob had to find his wife. There are no accounts in the Bible where the woman goes out to find her husband. The women of the old days were being prepared at home by their mom & other virtuous women on how to be a help-meet for their husband. So no the women should have her heart lost in GOD so that man has to pray & be led to her by the Heavenly Father at the perfect time when GOD says she's ready not when she thinks she's ready. Blessings on you!! :-)

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  71. Wow! That message was amazing! Thank you God for that. I was supposed to here this message tonight! Thank you Heather! :)

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  72. This one was all up in my secret place and my thoughts, for so long I felt unwanted and like damaged goods. I let my past define me and I was convinced that no man would ever want to marry me. But now I know better, no nothing has changed about my situation and I cant even tell you the last time I thought about dating someone (or should I say, the last time someone worthy of me spending time on), but I know who God says I am and that is what makes the difference.

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  73. a timely message wow feels so good to have perspective back in my life!!

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  74. Hey Heather!
    I've just started reading your posts, and they're so amazing. I went through an emotionally abusive relationship with a bipolar guy a few years ago, and made the huge mistake of losing my virginity to him. I regret it every day. He made me feel worthless and like he owned me. I feel so stupid looking back on it all now, but at the time I felt like there was no other option. Since then, I've grown a lot in self respect and my faith. I've been dating this amazing Christian boy for a year now and he's so much more than I deserve. I've actually had a crush on him since 6th grade and we're about to graduate now. :) I don't have the courage to tell him that I'm not a virgin. I've been praying about it, but I'm still stuck. I know that I need to tell him, but I don't know how. We talk about eventually getting married and we never fight, so I guess I'm really nervous about hurting him and our relationship. Do you have any advice for me? I've asked for forgiveness from God, but I still feel so guilty. Thank you so much and God bless. <3

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  75. i just discovered your blog via another blog I currently follow. Let me just say that this post is EXACTLY what I needed to read! I'm been down on myself in the past about always being single, I've questioned why I was never "good enough" for my exes, why previous relationships didn't work or why I've attracted soooo many "randoms"! So THANK YOU for this post! Thank you for breaking down scriptures I've read numerous times before, and heard sermons on at church. I'm not going to lie, I'm guilty of the whole facebook stalking =( ; not proud of that. But its good to know other women go/went through similiar situations. Its good to know that I'm not alone in that old way of thinking!! This post was truely a blessing! I can't wait to read more of your blog

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  76. Hi Heather, is it possible for God to change a 'random' you once dated and turn him into your 'adam'?

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  77. Hi Heather,
    I'm in my lonely season. I'm worship director for my church and my ex co-leads with me. We were together 4yrs and engaged to marry. However I just don't understand why are we still on one another path? I can't completely heal because he's always there. I have to communicate with him about the music and such. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm on the wrong path... I have thoughts of just leaving to get away from him but I believe GOD called me to this church for a purpose. I don't want to walk out of His will. But I want to be healed completely and not have to do ministry with my ex-fiancé. Any advice?

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  78. My Godness this is a powerful and beautiful peice!!!

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  79. Great blog. Very encouraging and inspiring! May God bless you.

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  80. This is very encouraging.. I'm 26 and will be 27 in 6 days... All my friend are either married or in a great relationship.. I always attract the wrong guys, my sister in law clearly tells others that she doesn't think anyone will marry me coz I'm a plus size.. But recently I've decided I'm gonna cry out to the Lord and I won't stop until he gives me a life partner. I'm trying to loose a bit of weight coz maybe that will make me a little more confident. I know that if I ask of anything and trust God, it shall be given to me.. I've dedicated 3 days to esther fasting and prayer and trusting God for testimonies.. U are a blessing and may God continue using u and ur family as vessels of his Word.. Pray for me that my Adam awakes.. Stay blessed!

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  81. WOW. I'm Done Jesus. I walk away from it all right now and I bring myself back to you fully. Just keep me reminded.

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  82. God bless u heather just what i needed i have been worried ,i am 28 neva dated bcos i made the promise to god to keep my body ,just seeing all my the girls that are not like me find love and marriage makes me feel what is wrong.

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  83. Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! am deeply blessed sincerely.i had lost hope after praying for more than 7 years for a partner but in vain am now 27 years old.i believe this was my message.thank you very much God bless u where ever u will be.

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  84. This is so encouraging Heather! God bless you for this wonderful message

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  85. Hi Heather,

    I didn't want to comment because I couldn't wait to get to the other blog posts you've written and ..just right then with that thought still in mind, it dawned on me that several, too many, plenty! people will read this blog post and because of the AMAZING truth in it that mirrors the reader's heart to him- or her- self, out of a lack of patience or time, we CANNOT WAIT TO move to the next blog without letting you know what we think of this, how it has touched our lives or blessed us or spoke to us. Some do. praise God but be encouraged that if everyone who reads were to comment, there will not be enough room to contain. ;-)standard (A South-England slang for definite!) I pray you many blessings of God's Love, Joy, Grace, Peace and Stability to your family. Congrats on your baby. God bless you and grant your family the wisdom for His ministry. You are a blessing. Praise God! Hallelujah!
    Ogechi S.E.

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  86. I'm 29 years old, and not once have I ever been with anyone, no boyfriends, no first kisses, nothing (100 percent virgin). I feel like I keep going through this ongoing cycle that doesn't seem to end- where I meet someone, I fall for him, but then someone or something gets in the way and it never ends up working out. I've read pretty much all of your blogs and have tried to adopt your many tips into my life. In fact, I think I've prayed every novena that there is, and have said many rosaries, etc but it's like all of my prayers have been shot down (at least that's the way I see it). At times I feel like I was cursed at some point in my life, and I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm even convinced that God wants nothing to do with me. I pretty much live a solitary life. People refuse to talk to me, so the task of attempting to make a friend is nearly impossible. I can't comprehend why for the majority of my lifetime I've always been treated like this. It just doesn't seem normal. God seems to really work through you, and so I was hoping if you were able to pray for me on my behalf as I'm going through a really difficult time right now. Thank you, AVP.

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  87. Hi Heather,

    Your blog really encouraged me. I just turned 30 & was discouraged about my future. I have a desire to be married & have kids but my boyfriend & I for 11 years couldn't get it together. WE'VE been off & on and gone through many turmoils. I think God himself was trying to tear us apart. I finally let it go because I wanted more from the relationship. We kept in contact, big, mistake, and he came back wanting to get married/start a family. I told him I would consider it and give it a try. after reading your blog and realizing this is a mistake. How do I let him down easy without hurting him?

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  88. If your a widow do you gat another Adam?

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  89. This blog post really has encouraged me to strengthen my walk with God. I know that I am capable of doing so much more than I am, but I fear failure and that is what stops me from fulfilling my purpose. I am content in my single hood and I have to continue to allow God to work on me as he works on my Adam. You're right, we don't have to chase a man, flaunt our goodies, and bark and holler to draw attention. God's timing is perfect so I have to trust him and not rush the process.

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  90. Wow! I love your blog and every advice you give. Thank you for not sugar coating the truth! God bless you and your family. Lots of love all the way from South Africa! Concilia www.thenotebooktoremember.blogspot.com

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  91. Ouchea enjoying life, saying no to frustrations and knowing that God's will will for my life is great.

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  92. Hi Heather, I have enjoyed reading your blogs, and this one I always come back to. In october I am attending your singles retreat and I can not wait! I love how God works through people, keep blogging and can not wait to meet you in october!
    God Bless

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