Monday, March 12, 2012

"How I KNEW my husband was the "One"

How did I know that Cornelius was the one I was supposed to marry?

(us on our wedding day, about 5 minutes before our first kiss! ;-)

As you all know, my single life wasn't the prettiest picture. I was a hot-mess to say the least. (I blogged about my single life here) I struggled by jumping from relationship to relationships on a crazy search to be whole. It was SO hard for me for a LONG time. THEN, I got SICK & tired of being SICK & tired. And I broke up with my then boyfriend in March 2008. Then, I felt like a email blast went out & all these guys kept asking me out. I knew it was a distraction. So I turned down a ton of good "christian" guys--I had NO peace about those guys. I just knew that they weren't it. I knew that I had a call on my life to go into Ministry--there was no question and whoever I married needed to have the same vision. And it wasn't enough for them to just "SAY" it-- I needed to be able to watch their relationship with Jesus myself & see some stuff' working. You cannot perpetrate the Holy Spirit. I knew HIM-- I KNEW when He was really active & moving in somebodies life and I knew when one was giving lip service. When you're that close to someone, you can SEE their life. Even in their weakness--what do they do with them? Do they turn to the world for comfort or allow God to strip them EVEN more so that they can be made into the image of Christ???

My husband WALKED by me for three years straight at church. We were in meetings together for years, saw each other from a distance, said hello every now and then and even at one point-- I walked into a room and it was just him and one other person in the room-- and I left the room and thought... (this was 2007) "I bet Cornelius is going to ask that guy for my phone number"-- but he never did! I wasn't LOOKING for him to ask for my phone number, at that time-- I was very confident in my little self! haha! I was thinking "I can have whoever I want, because I'm fly." Hey, it's a stretch from how I used to think so whatever. :) I never thought about it again after that moment as I'm sure I had a little boyfriend at that time.

On January 4th, 2009 after church we started talking for the first time about the church fast that was coming up. I asked him if we could eat honey or soy milk. So then, he said answered and said, "I'm going to put a cow in the ground & grow it"-- (the fast was food from a seed in the ground only). So, YES-- Cornelius started flirting with me on the low! Then he started to ask me about New York (he lived in Atlanta)  and how hard it is to get around especially if you have a ton of  bags from grocery shopping. Then he asked me who "helps me with my bags" (2nd time trying to find out if I have a man lol)-- I told him that I carry my bags, take a cab or I use a NYC cart.


I entertained CORNELIUS for the first time in almost a year because there was something different about him. During that time where I finally got single, I started really getting on my FACE daily before God. I went on dates with Him, talked to Him about EVERYTHING-- would spend weekends with a jug of water and my bible & just spent crazy time with Him. Note that even while I was dating randoms, I was doing this as well.  Spending time with God is crazy vital. So important for your spiritual growth. HOW do you trust someone you DON'T know!? I blogged about it Spending Time with God, be sure to read it.

I had an OVERWHELMING sense of peace when I met my husband. Its like God was like FINALLY. I've been able to connect them both when they're both finally single. Let's all be clear-- I wasnt' ready those 3 years prior when I saw him. I was READY on 1/4/09. Period. Does that mean that I was "perfect" or I had "arrived" in wholeness? Heck no. I HAD a ton and I still HAVE a ton of things to work on. On Christmas day, 2008-- I was surrounded by my family and one of my sisters was like, :when are you going to start having some babies!? Your clock is tickin' (I was 26)-- I told her, "shouldn't I be married first?! I wont' have no babies with some random. When I meet a man that is FIT to be my husband and raise this next generation-- is when I'll have some kids. So as soon as I know, I'm sure you will too. Until then, I'm content in Christ. HE is all I need." Later that day, I was spending time with God and I cried out to Him.. .I said, "Lord, YOU are all I need"-- I'm SO happy and so content in You. If I'm single for another 10 years, I don't care-- YOU are all I want. YOU are all I need." Then, He told me that I was going to get married at 27. I was shocked! I was like, well, if I'm going to be married at 27, you need to bring homeboy soon because I have NO prospects. Not ONE. You told me to cut them all off and it's just me & You. So, work it out Lord..

10 days later, I met my now husband. 1 year and 8 months later and 1 month before my 28th birthday.. I married my hubby.





1. First, I finally had peace. Most guys I dated, God didn't like for us to be together-- even when I would ignore my little peace and try to make it work.

2. He refused to kiss me until our wedding day. The bible says to "Flee Fornication" for a reason. "Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."- 1 Cor 6:18. So if homebody keeps on pressuring me to sin against my body, he clearly doesnt' love GOD or me. Jus sayin'. He SET & kept those boundaries. He did everything he could to protect me, my integrity and most importantly, honor God.

3. His vision lined up with what GOD already TOLD me. I knew in 2005 that I was called to preach and share Christ to this hurting world. Sorry, I wasn't marryin' no rapper. Yeah, he could change-- but I didn't want to wait 40 years for him to come around & change. I needed to see the guy I was supposed to marry actively pursing God RIGHT now.

4. I kept getting better in the relationship. Cornelius wasn't a stumbling block for me. He was REALLY concerned that I had a relationship with Jesus alone that was not founded in my EMOTIONS. He refused to let me depend on Him and He ALWAYS pushed me towards Christ.

5. God was ALL up in my quiet time pressing me to pray for Him & build Him up and God always encouraged me to love Him. GOD was giving me CONSTANT instruction with Cornelius. It was pretty cool. One day I was mad at Cornelius and the Lord told me-- "Why don't you ask me how to deal with Cornelius? I created Him, I can show you how he works."  .. oh you're right God. lol

6. He shut me down. I don't care how you flip it-- most women like discipline from a man in the sense that THEY are leading the relationship. I was confident that Cornelius knew where he was going and he didn't need me to lead the relationship due to his confusion. I have a STRONG personality and I needed someone to tell me no. In the past, I manipulated guys so it was nice to get called out. So, Cornelius is a LEADER. I didn't want to ask my guy my whole life.. where are we going & take his little leader reins.

7. When he said something, he would do it. Guys, you gotta keep your word. How can I believe in you if you don't believe in you or what you say?

8. I was attracted to him. I had to put this in-- sometimes, we think we have to marry someone we aren't attracted to because we think that he's it. Once, I dated this guy that I wasn't 100% attracted to and I struggled with it and thought I had to marry him because he was one of the first Christan guys I dated after I got saved. I didn't know there were cute Christians. Jus sayin'. I wanna LIKE looking at him for the rest of my life. Yeah, stuff can happen but one of my desires was to be attracted to my guy. NOT the main desire, but one of them.

9. He was growing. While we courted, he was willing to ADJUST and change. I knew that when things would come our way, He would man up, admit his mistakes & CHANGE. He wasn't trying to hold on to his old ways. He wanted to be better and was willing to adjust. AND he let ME grow. He wasn't all hard on me-- pressuring me to be some doctor or lawyer because it looked good. He let me grow UP from all of my weaknesses & issues. He HELPED me & was patient with me.

10. With all of that said, he really loved Jesus. It encouraged me. Jobs can come and go, money can leave, looks can fade but if that man really, I mean really loves Jesus and wants to live for Him-- NOTHING is impossible. My spirit was so excited about every aspect of Cornelius. I was never NOT at peace with him. I wanted so many things in a man and I never thought I would meet someone with my desires. God exceeded my expectations and my husband MEASURED up. Yours will too.

11. (Bonus number) I RESPECTED HIM alot because of the above. Don't marry someone you don't respect or look up to.



Remember this is no formula. I am just sharing what was important to ME. Let God lead you every second of the way. And if that guy or girl hasn't come.. they aren't supposed to. Keep your eyes in  your own grass and focus on GOD & working with your portion. Let GOD be your matchmaker.

God loves you like crazy,
Heather

118 comments:

  1. I think this is so awesome to read. My friends and I have a Bible Study group and this is a subject that comes up a lot. Like you said it's not a formula, but it's so good to read. Thanks for sharing!

    XO Kelley
    http://www.keepsittingpretty.blogspot.com

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  2. Great post, Heather! Very encouraging and thanks for sharing!

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  3. Thank you for sharing your experience. I found myself repenting a few months ago because I said and thought some awful things about God and how he was keeping me from being happy by not giving me a mate. The truth is I wasn't fit to be anyone's wife with that attitude. I'm at a place now where I am growing more and more content in my current state of singleness and spending time with Him so he can mold me into a woman that can love, respect and honor (and pray for) my future husband.

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  4. "Note that even while I was dating randoms, I was doing this as well" did dating randoms affect your walk with Christ? or did it just teach you that dating was useless as God pruned you?

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    1. Girl heck yes! It seperated me from Christ. They were distractions! I don't recommend dating, but courting Gods way or to "court" with a purpose-- and that's to get married. Check out my blog about my single life- -it may give you more clairty. http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-story-when-i-was-single.html

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    2. This is wonderful! It particularly speaks to my heart because Im 26 & ppl always ask why aren't I in a relationship, highlighting my qualities as if that should automatically make me be married at this time. Im in the early stages of courtship with a friend I've known since h.s. & we have bible study together, pray together & have much respect for one another & mpst importantly an undying love for Christ. Im still praying about this& your post helps me know Im in the right direction. Thanks for your ministry.

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  5. Amen! Thank you for this, it's so extremely helpful AND encouraging. I will continue to focus on God and let His will be done in my life, including in my relationships.

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  6. As a wife this blessed me: the Lord told me-- "Why don't you ask me how to deal with Cornelius? I created Him, I can show you how he works."
    My marriage has been awesome in these 2 1/2 years being that God is our center! But this has never been my prayer. Of course it would be how to deal with Tyler! Lol Thanks for sharing!

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  7. This is beautiful and u admire you for this! You are a great example to women of God who's waiting and expecting anything from the Lord NOT limited to a husband. This has inspired me even more to wanna wait on the Lord because He really does know what's best

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  8. What an awesome testimony...and I received so much revelation from it!! I just love what you allow God to do through you!! I'm always blessed and empowered by everything you post!!

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  9. Thank you for sharing your experience Heather. Many young Christian women struggle with singleness and do not understand that God has a plan for our lives and the time that we spend alone, He is building us up and preparing us for His works. As in every area of our lives, we must learn to trust God with our relationships. Congratulations and may God continue to use your union to bless others.

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  10. Great post. Its so important to respect and admire the man you are married to. I, too, am a handful and truly desire to marry a man that knows who he is in Christ, can be a leader, and firmly tell me "no". Thanks for the insight:)

    -Keanna
    grinderskeepers.blogspot.com

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  11. I love this especially asking God who is the creator how to deal with that person. I so needed this at the right time. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. HALLELUJAH! Thank you Jesus for allowing me to find this blogpost!!!! God bless you Heather. I could almost cry (with joy). This is full of confirmation for me. Especially when you discussed the good “christian” guys. SISTA, this is something that I had to learn myself. I literally used to think: “O.K. He is a christian and he is a nice guy, I must have to date Him???” Negative, not true! Thank God for godly mentors and for HOLY SPIRIT, because I was actually at once considering marrying a good “godly” guy, but I had NO PEACE! I was wrestling with that thang. Thank you Lord for your grace and never letting me go! Thank you Lord for no more randoms! Thank you Lord for the real deal husband! He knows whom will fit best with us and our purpose. Thank you Heather for your obedience, to point us to Jesus. I am so greatful, I feel like dancing!

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  13. This was a great blessing to me. My last relationship ended in the summer of 2010 but to be honest I hadn't been TRUELY single emotionally until I began to push towards true singleness in mind, spirit,and emotions the end of last year. I'm 25 and I've grown tired of randoms pulling me away from my true source of love and satisfication. This was very very encouraging me to keep pushing towards Christ above all period. He knows best.

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  14. I sooo needed to read this. I find all of this soo beautiful. It blessed me so much being able to hear about how you knew your husband was the 'one' and still continued to pursue the Lord through y'alls relationship. That's how it's supposed to be. Thank you so much! God bless!

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  15. Is it wrong for a woman to start off spiritually "leading" the relationship?

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    1. Yes, it's wrong- however, if you repent & change directions.. God forgives you-- so forgive yourself & let your hubby lead for real!

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    2. First off...Charity I LOVE your name. In fact I love it so much that my 7 month old daughter's name is Charity. ;-)

      I hope to not be intruding my giving my two cents here but I would like to briefly share the experience I had with my husband regarding this.

      When my husband and I first got married had been "saved" longer than he and so there was a bit more about the Lord and the Word the I knew and there were times that I would try to guide him in his walk with the Lord by, not just explaining the things of God to him but by trying to "direct" him. I was, in a sense, trying to play the role of the Holy Spirit for him. I wanted to see him grow in the Lord because he had an immense desire to do so and I saw him transforming more and more into the image of our Lord each day and not only that BUT (and I admit this) if we were going to be married then he needed to be on point spiritually...you know what I mean? Even though I had the desire to see him grow I really had to admit that part of me was being downright selfish. Although my husband's relationship with Christ directly affets me and our marriage I should have been more concerned about him and less converend about what benefits I would receive from it. Does that make sense? Not to mention I grew up in a family where the women are VERY dominant and IN CONTROL!!!!

      So any who...the Lord began to deal with me on this. As Heather says, I repented but at first I had a lot of buts for God. Yeah God BUT I see him falling into a trap...Yeah God BUT he does't understand and since I do I need to show him...Yeah BUT he ain't doin this right (and neither was I...lol)..I AM his help mate after all...BLAH BLAH BLAH. The Lord pretty much told me to leave that alone, shut up and that He had this and really didn't need my help. What He wanted me to do was pray for my husband and submit to my husband and allow Him (God) to do all the work because it was His to do anyways. It WAS SO HARD because I was bossy (and can still be at times but we working on that...lol).

      That was three years ago and I can tell you that my husband is a man so totally and completely in love with Jesus! And so completely the head of this marriage! Not because I did anything to him and to help God help my husband but because I backed off (and am bakcing off) to allow the Lord to do the work that only He can complete in Him.

      It is one thing to share what thus says the Lord (AND IT BETTER BE THE LORD) but it is another thing altogether to try and wear the "spiritual pants" in the relationship. That is NOT our place and we have no right to assume that it is even if our spouse may not be filling that role. We instruct our children in the ways of the Lord and we make sure that we stay before the Lord and are obedient to Him in all things. If we allow Jesus to be our Spiritual Head when our husbands don't seem to be He will guide us and lead us accordingly so that we remain in HIS will and not what we think it should be. I have to ask God on a daily basis to show me when I am trying to overly assert myself in my marriage becuase those tendencies are still there to be that way. Whew! You talking about having to die to self so that Christ can live in me. MAN!

      Heather, sorry for hijacking this post. I said I would be brief but I just wanted to share that.

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    3. Beautiful testimony. I feel you on # 6. I too have a strong personality and know how to throw that thing around but the Lord has REALLY tempered me in that by using my husband. He is a patient man but he is a straight up and to the point man as well. I would try to "throw my personality around by rolling this and waggin that" and he would just be like I rebuke that! MY WIFE WILL NOT DO THAT...LOL. He would be firm but gentle and loving at the same time. I can't even say anything. In the past, I would be quick to jump right back on someone for speaking to me that matter of factly. Especially if it was about me.

      This alone showed me a lot about my husaband and myself. I'd never really been challenged before and while we dated God showed me all these character flaws that were in me that I NEVER even knew existed. Well the reality is I probably just ignored them.

      Thanks for sharing this testimony. I also read about when you were single. MAN! Thank God for setting us free from ourselves. He is sooo faithful to provde the proper mentoring when we don't have others to connect with on that level.

      Bless you sister!

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  16. This is a really great story and message. I've been following you on Twitter and decided to check out your blog. You're an amazing woman and you've inspired me in so many ways. Will be reading more of your posts. Continue to be blessed.

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  17. This really encouraged me today. Thanks soo much!

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  18. Thank You this is very humbling and inspirational! May GOD continue to Bless you in your ministry!

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  19. So awesome. What a word from God. I can now see things in a new light. Thank you for allowing God to use you to inspire and teach us to better Christians. It was meant for me to see this blog today!! May God bless you and yours as well as your ministry!!

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  20. How awesome!! God'd timing is do perfect! Your story is very similar to mine. My fiance and I walked around each other for years then one day we were courting & God told us we were it for each other. I too will be 27 when I get married (5/12/12)...2months before my 28th bday-- My fiance is 4years my junior. We are so perfect for each other...he pushes me to grow more in my relationship with God! It's just amazing because this was totally of God....none of my doings! Our visions even lined up! Its rewarding when we heed to Gods word & obey His voice. God bless u & your marriage.

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  21. Heather, you look fabulous. Do you work out? If so, what do you do? I was doing yoga consistently... then someone told me that yoga was pagan! I am doing my research on that, but I love yoga because you get awesome (and I mean awesome) results without killing your body. Do you have any work-out advice?

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    1. Hey love!
      I do work out! I run mostly! But Zumba.. do yoga or find something that works for you! The only part of Yoga is the "chanting" part-- in which I don't like, so I find classes that don't do all that chanting. But Yoga is simply stretching.

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  22. hi.

    beautiful post.

    but..how do i deal with being single and watching those around me get blessed with love? it's a horrible feeling..

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    1. Hey love!
      It's all about God's pefect timing! YOUR time is coming soon but your focus cannot be everyone elses's mail-- it must be your own. Stay focused and busy about doing what God called YOU to do. Trust Him. Get all the scriptures you can find on being content and meditate on them until you dream them. God wants to know that HE alone is your portion. Marriage won't cure that lonely feeling. It will only amplify it.

      xo
      Heather

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  23. IDesirePeace&JoyMarch 16, 2012 at 3:47 PM

    @ Heather, wow thanks for blogging about your life ...it's very inspiring & I truly admire you. I only wish I found your words of wisdom regarding marriage before I got married. Unlike you in #8 I decided to marry a man that I wasn't 100% physically attracted to and now my marriage is bittersweet. It's sweet because just like you he is everything I desired in a mate. He is one of the sweetest people I know & is one of the best friend I've ever had, he truely loves God & he even respected my choice to remain a virgin til marriage. I've really grown to love him & I know he truly loves me. However, I've never been 100% attracted to him...this has caused me to be bitter. I always buried these feelings because he still has other great qualities I desire in a man & I thought this outweighed something as superficial as looks but this lack of physical attraction has grown into a serious problem for me. I know that God judges the heart so I've always just prayed that He'd help me to focus on the heart and not be moved by outward appearance but this has been the most challenging thing ive ever done in life because I want to like what I see when I look at my mate. But I also feel bad for holding someone accountable for their looks (some thing they have no control of) I also feel very stupid for not handling this before I married him.
    Now, It's not as simple as walking away for me ...besides this issue, my husband is perfect for me & I do believe God hates divorce but I just want to be happy. I constantly beat myself up about this & I wish that I was true to myself in this area initially and had made a better descision besides believing the lie that looks aren't important. I can't reverse the past. So please don't tell me what I should have done (I say this respectfully...I mean should've, could've, would've scenarios play in my mind on a daily basis, trust me). I can only move forward. Please pray for me & share any advice, if you have any. I just want to be happy & have no more regrets. Thanks for your time & prayer. Blessings.

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    1. Hey my lovely. I totally hear your heart. ASK God to help you to see your husband the way that He does. You could have married a fine guy-- who gets into an accident and is no longer fine anymore. So stop beating yourself down and settle the truth that things happened for a reason and that you're satisfied with your portion. Satan will have a field day in your heart if he knows that this is a struggle for you. So fight back. Cast down stupid thoughts and make them obey Christ. Happiness comes from knowing that CHRIST is all that you need and through Him-- nothing is impossible. So, on purpose-- tell your guy how fine he is to you. I'm sure that he can sense your lack of being attracted to Him. Build him up! Meditate on thoughts that say that you're attracted to Him and that He's beautiful to you. Do what you have to do! But it's just a small hurdle-- vent to God & trust Him! Praying for you!

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    2. IDesirePeace&JoyMarch 31, 2012 at 6:49 PM

      Heather, Thanks so much for taking the time to share your advice and thanks for praying for me. In #8 you stated "Once, I dated this guy that I wasn't 100% attracted to and I struggled with it..." and "Just sayin'. I wanna LIKE looking at him for the rest of my life." The fact that you made a point to mention it shows that appearence is important to you. And the struggle that you had is the same struggle I've been having because it's just as important to me to like looking at my husband. I have been asking God to help me to see my husband the way he sees him. I must say that during this journey I've been trying to focus on all that my husband is & love him in spite of what he isn't. However, it has not been "just a small hurdle." This is the only area of my life that I have not been happy with because it's so permanent...I made a commitment to be with someone that I'm not physically attracted to for the rest of my life. And as you stated above "yeah stuff can happen but one of my desires is to be attracted to my mate." If you were in my shoes would you really be "Meditating on thoughts that say that you're attracted to Him and that He's beautiful to you" or would you struggle with it like you did with the guy you dated that you weren't 100% attracted to? You are right things did happen for a reason. In this case, I was young & didn't have any dating experience at all...we were friends & he expressed interest in me. He truly is a great person & he loves me the way God loves me- he's the kinda of man I wish for every woman to have. That's what piqued my interest in him but I did struggle with choosing him because my desire to have all of this AND good looks. It was everyone around me that would say "looks don't matter because beauty fades...just make sure he treat you right" and then there's the scripture that says man looks on outward appearence but I (God) looks on the heart. And that is what influenced my descision. At one point I was happy because I would tell myself looks aren't important but that didn't last as started being honest with myself....It still doesn't negate the fact that God looks on the heart...and I desperately want to be like Him. So it's always been my prayer to see my husband the way God see's him. Plus, he is worthy of my love, as sweet and faithful as he is to me. This is what keeps me in the relationship instead of getting a divorce. It has NOT been easy. Many times I feel that I made the biggest mistake of my life...I also feel lonely because I think I'm the only person in the world to make such a descision in a world where beauty seems to be a prerequisite for everything. Plus, girl can you believe people have been bold enough to say to me "you're sooo pretty I was not expecting you to pick someone like him I was expecting your husband to be a model?" Then they ask me "what does he do" as if to say i'm only with him cause he make good money." Now I am delivered from the opinions of people but it doesn't help the issue... Again i'm here and I stay because he is a good, godly man and I've grown to love him. Sorry I know that I sound like a crazy, double-minded person but I initially commented on your post because of #8...I percieved it to mean "ladies you don't have to marry a man you're not attracted to just cause he's saved...wait on your fine man who also loves the Lord," so I had to ask what's one to do if she didn't wait for God to send her that fine man and regrets it? I normally do only vent to God. No one knows what my husband & I go through. Thanks for answering with compassion. Your TIME (I know I'm long-winded LOL) & prayer has been greatly appreciated. I will continue to do what I have to do to succeed.

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  24. Nothing that I have EVER read, listened to, or watched has ever been so real and relevant to me than this post. It literally speaks to me where I am right now. I’m 26 and single, and my whole attitude right now is just about focusing on God and getting to know him more. (In the meantime, I am praying for the man that He will bring into my life).

    I can’t say enough how much this post spoke to me, and how much your journey is so similar to mine. Thanks for being so transparent and writing it- its how I have been feeling but haven’t had the words to express.

    I tried adding myself as a follower to your blog but couldn’t find the link, but I have subscribed by email! Your wisdom- especially around our age- is amazing!

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    1. You're so kind. I appreciate you!! Bless you honey!

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  25. Oh Lord Jesus is awesome! I've been searching for that message that will confirm what I felt Holy Spirit saying to me. Thank you for posting this. You have just saved a life.

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  26. Wow!,What an inspiring post, you know God is just too much.This post has placed me in another realm i never thought i will be,a realm of trusting Him (God) totally, He's such a faithful God..
    Thank you very much for this blog,God bless you richly
    I believe you will live happily ever after with your God given husband...Much love friend.

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  27. This is awesome!! Check out the Great Wives Loving Great husbands page on facebook!!!! God is so faithful!!!

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  28. wow this is such a blessing to me! I am going through the phase of fully trusting God to work in my life and bring the right man in my life. It's really hard when you have lots of guys after you that are completely "out of your league" so to say, but I know God wants to bless me with the right one. please say a prayer for God to help me. Thanks for such an inspiring article!!! God bless you!!!!

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  29. THis is such an amazing Testimony, for so many reasons, but for me, its such an amazing testimony because even in your issues and addictions to guys and stuff, and dating randoms, you HAD to spend time with Jesus. That is why you were able to change it - only the Word can change you. Most people don't realize that while doing whatever wrong they're doing, they have to ensure to always get the word of God.
    The aim of the devil is to use guilt to take them away from the word, but even while you're committing the act, or right after you've committed the act (whatever it is), get to the Word of God, and confess your righteousness. That's the only way to ever truly get free of that habit.
    Furthermore, if you do something 6 times consecutively, it'll become a habit. #insideTip.

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  30. Wow.... This Blog have me in tears... I have recently been blessed with the man God made especially for me... It is so true, keep your eye on God. He's your source to everything. If you let Him be your matchmaker you will have better results. I love this blog.

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  31. Heather, God bless you. I've recently started a blog after reading yours. I understand everything you have written here. I am getting out of yet another relationship that I should not have been in. I tried ti make things work even after God has spoken to me about the person I ought to be praying for.I believed a lie (sounds like Adam and Eve), and pursued a relationship that was not for me. I knew this because I had no peace. Though we appeared to be right in the eyes of believers and unbelievers, Gods plan was not thus. I'm also heavily ministry-bound and every day I thank God for his hand of protection and his overall love for me. I deserve death,I should have children, but his grace is sufficient. He's been keeping me. I would love to not only follow you but speak to you, especially since your story does not differ too much from mine. How's life and ministry..God bless you and your family...Let's pray for one another

    Francine

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  32. Real talk...Can soooo relate to your experience (still waiting patiently on "homeboy" tho :D). God is amazing beyond measure. I think sometimes we forget that. I had to get to that point myself where I'm like "God I'm done trying this my way. You take control." I'm so grateful for the peace He's given me. As you said it's just a matter of allowing God to lead every second. Thanks for sharing Heather!....Cam

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  33. Hey Heather. You have wonderful testimonies that impact our lives greatly because they are evidences of God's faithfulness and love.

    I am 21 and have not yet been in a real relationship. Recently (in the last 2 years or so) I have been approached by many randoms, and at one point was saddened and discouraged because the day I would say yes was not coming.

    Now, I am encouraged. I will continue to say no and refuse to entertain myself with randoms and wait for the perfect one God has for me. I've been telling God how excited I am to meet him, and He has been dealing with alot of STUFF in my life.

    Don't settle for less, check your peace, keep your high standards (and be real- you should also be whatever you would like mr future hubby to be)- these are lessons I will remember :-)

    Thanks, you are a blessing indeed!

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  34. wow wow wow wow wow!! im exactly where you were before you met your husband..thankyou sooooo much for sharing. i am encouraged!!! God is real..i know HE is..this blog has made HIM more real to ME....GOD BLESS YOU BOTH AS YOU GROW STRONGER IN GOD TOGETHER.

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  35. Wow, what an AWESOME read! It blessed me so much!

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  36. Hi Heather! I absolutely enjoyed reading your blog. I am a blogger myself (www.deedeeedwards.blog.com). When I read this particular post I felt as though I was reading about my own life and you have soooooooooooooooo helped me in making a huge decision. Thank You and continue to avail yourself to God. I too am very much compassionate about Jesus and the call He placed upon my life. I wish you and Cornelius a wonderful and happy life together. God"s richest blessings :-)

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  37. This was an ABSOLUTELY AWESOME read, and it only FURTHER confirmed some things for me regarding the love of my life. God has truly smiled on me w this man that He put into my life, and I am grateful to know that another woman has experienced some, if not ALL, of your highlighted bullet points. There is nothing on earth like a strong, Black Man after God's own heart, and to know that love like this STILL EXISTS in these weird/awkward/wreckless dating times is a blessing. I was grateful for the blessing of my man BEFORE this read, but I certainly even more grateful for his entry into my life. To God Be The Glory!! #gratitude

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  38. Wow!!! This was a right on time WORD. I am turly encouraged today!! Thank you so much Heather xoxoxo

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  39. Hello Heather I just Absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ALL of your post!! They truely speak to me & my situations. I am only 23 but it's my TRUE desire to be married. Everybody is always telling me your young, have fun but I've always been like no because when I'm with someone I'm with them but Thank God for having a calling on my life because the countless guys that I have dated were just that, DISTRACTIONS! Now that I'm really trying to get close to God I don't wanna date anyone because they would become my main focus & I wanna FIRST LOVE GOD WITH ALL MY HEART SO THAT I CAN LOVE ME WITH ALL MY HEART because jealously & insecurities come from Not knowing your True Worth & Value something that I struggle with. Not trying to toot my own horn but I know that I'm beautiful but when I see another beautiful woman I always compare myself to her. I try finding something that I feel is a flaw on her so that I can make myself feel better when all alone I still don't. I say all of these things to say that God does in fact has to PREPARE us because like you said No man wants an insecure woman. There are times when even I myself feel like when is my time gonna come knowing that I need some WORK first I just get really lonely at times because I haven't been blessed with my spiritual friends & mentor/mother yet so I feel like I have such this Great void but reading your post & knowing God wants me to look to him first. Look at me answering my own problems. :) I do have one question although I've talked your ear off forgive me. When you were walking past your husband for 3 years did you at all like him or was it after knowing him because its this guy that I like Christian guy but we both walk past each other & I find him to be attractive but I refuse to approach him? I'm not at all for approaching guys. I do feel that Women are to be pursued & not vise versa.

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  40. Also, I'm SO Glad you spoke on being attracted to your husband because for so long I have thought am I going to have to marry someone that I don't find attractive because that has been a Big one for me & my family particularly my Mom is always saying it's Not always about looks which I know but it does play a Big part I'm not asking for the Finest guy but I do need him to be attractive because like the young lady above I to have dated a guy who I wasn't that attractive to but because we had been friends for so long, he had a Great personality & the fact that he was consisted on asking me out, I just did it but I wasn't happy at all & he knew it which caused him to be unhappy which lead to us breaking up & no longer being friends & I never wanna make anyone feel like I made him feel again because its not fair to either sides. Thank God for a spiritual Granny who told me to pray & ask the lord for what I want & he will give it to me as long as it's HIS will.

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  41. This was soo inspiring, moving & uplifting. As I read this, tears began to flow because I have always questioned God on when will my turn come. This blog has put it all into perspective for me and made me decide to stop looking for my Adam, but to look to God and make Him my number one in my life before anything else. Thank you for being so transparent and just being available this way to be used by God to encourage many who are expeiencing what you have.

    Love and blessings!

    - Jenn

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  42. I love how you said "you always felt at peace" while dating your now husband. This is something that I can honestly say I never fully experienced with the last few guys I dated. I thought this whole time it was me because they were good "Christian" men and I let people tell me I was waiting on a fairytale and that you don't always neccesarily "feel" something right away. That confused me further because how can you continue to date someone if you don't "feel" anything. It gets frustrating after talking/dating Christian guys because you always think they're going to end up being "the one." I know relationships shouldn't be based on emotions but there should be some kind of pull on you heart right?

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  43. This is amazing! I love what you said to your sis: "When I meet a man that is FIT to be my husband and raise this next generation-- is when I'll have some kids." That's what I'm talking about!!!

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  44. Hi Heather, thank you so much for your post. i am encouraged and blessed:) i have been looking for my Adam too and there is this guy who caught my attention. we only spoke once and we walked past each other in church...kept asking GOD whether he is the one...but there isn't any reply. And i am encouraged to see how you spent time with the LORD while you were single...i need to learn that too...to spend dating time with the LORD even if i am busy and to be contented with Jesus because He is all i ever need and want...thank you for the timely reminder:) GOD bless:)

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  45. Wow your whole blog is a blessing. I can feel it really changing my life. I know it is not an accident that I ended up on this blog

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  46. Thanks for being transparent and for sharing. You have given me encouragement.

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  47. Thank you for sharing, very encouraging and I recognize things I have on my list too!
    I love it that you point out that the most important thing is to be superclose with God first and have lot's of time with Him. I rather stay single the rest of my life than to marry someone who will distance me from God! But I love the idea of marrying someone who even brings me closer to God :)

    Anyhow, i wish you many blessings over your marriage and keep Christ in the center of it (to make it work), it will be soooo special! You are a Special Force Unit :)

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  48. This post is amazing, a blessing & something I needed to read. Thank you for reminding me that I must trust God with EVERYYYY aspect of my life. There's those little things you'd rather NOT give up, but I must lay it ALL down. I need to and am working on it. I'm such a work in progress for God... but this brought such hope to me. Love where you wrote, "So important for your spiritual growth. HOW do you trust someone you DON'T know!?" Such a truth that is that so many forget.
    There's someone I have GREAT interest in (I have zero intentions of marrying soon, I'm currently 19, still in school). He came to Christ earlier this year & you'd think he's known God his whole life! We work together & I wouldn't yet even classify us as friends, but he is pushing me to know God better & we both encourage each other in God & stuff. Everything I'd want in a husband, I see in him. But I really need to get that idea out my head. I need to hear it from God & be patient with God as he works on my broken spirit. #Godsway
    Thanks once again! I kinda snapped on my response. Lol. That's how much I loved it.

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  49. I have a question...

    I'm young (about to be 19) and I feel like I've met my husband. We're courting now (and have been for about a year) we were close friends before we considered courting, and what attracted me to him was initially that he had a fire for Christ (around the time we met, he was had committed his life to Christ). Now I knew to wait, one because I had just gotten out of a damaging relationship and I knew God was working on me in my singleness so to speak, but I found it so crazy how when I told God that I was committing myself to only even CONSIDER getting serious with those that were actively seeking to serve him, a couple of weeks later my current boyfriend stepped into my life. At the time he had a girlfriend, and I respected that, but they ended up breaking up, and we prayed on it and ended up courting.

    It's been great, our families like us (which is hard since my father is a 60-year-old minister), we've prayed and fasted together, we go to different churches but we have visited each other's churches and we worship together. I feel like we're on the right track.

    However we have been more physically intimate than we should have, and now we're fasting from each other for a couple of weeks to spend time with God so we'd be better equipped to handle lust, but I keep getting scared that God's gonna take him away from me if I can't get my act together. We repent after each time and pray together, and now we're fasting from each other for a couple of weeks to get our mind and spirit right with God. But I keep having this feeling...I really feel that God has called him to be "the one", but I have doubts sometimes...I know it's probably because I'm young, and it's natural for us to doubt...but if he is to be my husband, should I doubt it?

    Sorry if I worded it funny. I try to be as informative yet concise as possible :P

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    1. Hi Courtney. Do you mind if I share my story with you on what you wrote?

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  50. Hi Heather, I enjoyed reading your blog. It was very insightful and it has given me a better perspective on the things that I should be focusing on. I've read many other blogs in the past that touched up on this topic, but none have really persuaded and motivated me to take on the tips and advice that most of the bloggers shared. In other words, your blog really got to me, and I truly think that God was working through you so that you can share your experiences and wisdom with others that are going through the struggles of being a single person such as myself.

    Do you still answer questions on this blog? because I have many but I'll just ask you one. In your journal you wrote that God told you would be married at 27. Did you in fact hear his voice or was it in a vision that you received this message?

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    1. I heard his voice. Read my blog on "How to Hear God's Voice"-- I spent a ton of time with God daily. Hearing His voice.. was second nature. It was through my inner ear. Read the blog though- it will help.

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    2. Hi Heather! I hope all is well!

      I was just about to ask the same question, but I had a feeling that someone else might have asked already :-). I would definitely love to know how to tell if God is speaking to me or if it is my own thoughts. Thank you Heather for allowing God to use you!

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  51. Hi Heather,

    I do not know you, but my friend recommended that I followed you on Twitter. Once following you, I noticed that you had a Blog and decided to check it out. I thank God that I did! This blog alone has touched my life and will touch my sister's life once I tell her to read it. We talk about our expectations in men all of the time and honestly your blog was confirmation! Stay encouraged woman of God and continue to do God's work. It's inspiring to know that there are still women out there that lives for Christ and truly believes in his HOLY SPIRIT.

    Be blessed!

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    1. Praise God!!! Thanks for taking the time to read the blog!

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  52. this blog has truly blessed me thank you

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  53. Just love your blog Heather God is using you to talk to the married and the singles as well........Tell me what's your opinion in online dating..
    God Bless you and you marriage as well.

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    1. Hey love!
      I'm not crazy about online dating because it pairs you with someone you are "compatible" with and usually God pairs you with someone who IS saved but completely OPPOSITE from you so you both can balance each other out in certain areas of weaknesses!

      Praying for you!

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  54. Thank you for sharing! This post has really Blessed Me!

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  55. I'm really inspired with your blogs! I'm out of words!!!
    Please can I get ur email address?
    God bless you ma'am!!!
    xxx

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  56. Heather, you are truly amazing. God is so good and is always faithful. I found it amazing that you were adopted, so am i! & I have been thru hell and back myself. God has been working on me though for the past 5 years, and i had no idea until last year. Ive been on my own since 16. Sold drugs for about 6years of my life, in and out of jail a few times. Was in the whole partying stage for a while. I stopped drinking by the time i was 21 lol. It took me to get into some trouble at 23 & i threw my hands up like ok God, i give up. I know i cant do this with out you. You take the wheel. So i packed up all my stuff and moved to the town i was adopted from. Didn't know anyone, never been there before in my life, haven't even worked a real job, i waited tables when i did work, and everyone told me i was crazy and wouldn't make it. But it was in this time that i really learned how to trust God and after moving is when i really found him. Now i have a good job, which was given to me by him, bc if they would have looked at my record they would not have hired me! lol, good church family and first and foremost i have him. He is so good. I mean i am still struggling tho its only been a year and a half, BUT God always provides a way. Also, in my dating world, i am wanting to honor God in that area as well. I came back in contact with this guy i have known since high school(so he knows all i have been thru), he recently gave his life to God as well, and we started dating. And the great thing about it too, is that he wants our relationship to glorify God as well. We both want to remain celibate until marriage. It has been going great. Ive been praying to God and asking him to show me in some way if this guy is the one i am supposed to be with because i do love him. I have noticed myself getting frustrated sometimes bc hes not on the same level with God as i am; Im always having to explain stuff i feel like, but dont get me wrong i dont mind, but i just get frustrated sometimes. And i know it took me time to get to where i am at. God spoke to me a couple days ago. Like the first time ever, he actually SPOKE to me, He said "Jacob is not ready for you yet, he will be your husband, but i need to talk to him first. Trust me my child, I will not forsake you" That blew my mind, i told "Jacob", and he has been all sad and stuff bc i broke up with him and im like well God told me. And im not sure if God was just telling me to hold on until we got married bc we both have been talking about it instead of breaking up with him but i didnt wanna not obey what God was telling me , even though i didnt wanna break up with him. I feel like he doesn't trust God enough to go thru this process and just wait and be content during this difficult time... But he is trying, he reads his bible, calls me and talks to me about what he has read, texts me bible verses, goes to church with me...idk Do you have any advice for me? Im sorry for asking you like this too, im sure you get bombarded all the time with questions, but I just had it on my heart to ask you, But God bless you Heather. Take care, and thank you so much for your encouraging words. oh and have you ever felt like "overwhelmed" by His word, like all i have been doing is reading my Bible, watching preachers on tv, listen to sermons on my way to work, and i think i might be starting to feel like its too much, or am i just trying to take on too much... lol girl.. i just know i need God in my life and i dont wanna skip a beat... Thank you again, i hope you get a chance to respond sometime!

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  57. Great read! I love how you are so real & love being married & taking the journey of marriage, your salvation & the Two being One so serious. In these days & times, it's hard to get couples(especially) wives to look at the REALITY of marriage & stop living a FANTASY...but by golly, YOU GOT IT & it only took you a short time & that I credit to your RELATIONSHIP W/ GOD! Be blessed & keeping doin' it God's way!

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  58. I really like that you were honest with us. I have been trying to figure out who I am going to marry forever. God spoke to me saying that he was close and that GOd knew my desire to marry, mind you that I was in high school and still dating my now ex-boyfriend who took my virginity. We have an off and off relationship cycle, but I am really working on letting it go. I set aside time for God and that's giving me peace to let it go. So essentially I am running to God in my quiet time. God also told me that he has work for me to do while I'm single and I am working hard with/for the gospel choir at my school. I know God has someone great for me and I have to just wait while doing my part. Thanks, any advice?

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  59. Hi Heather, just curious about something; the moment that you felt that your husband was the one, did you still feel like you had to continue praying for him, and to also pray that you will end up with him for sure? do you honestly believe that if we don't take the time to pray for our future spouses, do you think that it's possible that they can end up being with someone else instead? (someone that's totally wrong for him that is) these are some of the questions that hound me everyday, and I just can't seem to find any answers anywhere that will put my mind at ease.

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  60. Hello Heather ,
    Do you believe God can tell you who your going to marry through Signs ?
    Congrations On your Love Blessed By God <3

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  61. Oh wow, thanks to a friend of mine, I came across another one of your blogs, and then I clicked on this one. VERY, VERY inspiring! I know that there are no coincidences in Christ, and just coming across your blog definitely proves how good God is (as He always will be), especially when He confirms things. I have experienced alot of what you share in this blog (like the clock is ticking thing) and have responded the same way. Thank you for sharing! I am definitely inspired to keep up with my blog now, lol. Do you respond to personal emails?

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  62. This was wonderful! What a sweet and lovely lady you are, thank you for blessing me with your story. I am 25, had a crazy dating history to say the least, have a little boy now and it's just us 3. Me, my son, and Jesus. I would like to be married someday but I know that God has me in this season for a very good reason and I am thankful for that. He is the God of surprises and I cannot wait to see what He has in store. You are a wonder writer and clearly blessed.

    My God bless your marriage and you life!

    Fellow sister-in-Christ,
    Paige

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  63. Hi Lindsey, how did God tell you, you were going to get married at 27?

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  64. I totally love this, I have learned so much Im only 21 but I sometimes struggle with dating "randoms" and I have decided to be totally committed to God and your story just encouraged me to keep going. I know who I am and I believe God will supply me with the man who he designed specifically for me but until then I will wait and strive in my purpose.. You are such an encouragement God Bless you

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  65. This is so good. Wow! I am blown away. Ever since I got saved over a year ago, my relationship with God has had this amazing exponential increase. Sometimes, I am like, why did I not do this sooner? This is the life I am living right now. May God continue to bless your marriage and you and your husband are one of my role models.

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  66. Thanks for posting your testimony!

    Question: you said you knew within twenty minutes that Cornelius was going to be your husband and that God spoke it to you. During that full year and 8 months before you said "I do" did God show you visions and dreams about Cornelius? I never heard God say to me that "so & so" was my husband but I have had visions and dreams about him for a year. I remember the first time I ever saw him (march 2010) and I was instantly attracted to him. Then in the summer of 2011, I had a vision about him. I have never told anyone about this but I've have several visions and dreams since then. I just keep it in my heart and I journal everything. We both work in our church with college ministry, worship leading plus we're friends. But our friendship has changed drastically this year. Awhile ago I had a vision of him leaving and this past Wednesday he told the worship team he was stepping down. Is it possible that I know he's the one even if he doesn't yet? I hope you don't think I'm crazy LOL. God speaks to me and dreams and visions a lot (not just about this man).

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    1. Hey!
      Hmm.. God didn't show me visions or dreams about him that I can recall. Nonetheless, the proof is in the pudding! If he pursues you, you'll know his intentions! Don't let those visions and dreams become a distraction. Keep your eyes on Christ no matter what. Hugs!

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    2. Hey! God also speaks to me in visions and dreams. I had a dream about this one gentleman and in it he said I was his wife. Shortly after we became friends, however now we do not even communicate. I had the dream first and he told me it was prophesied to him what his wife looked like, job, etc... months later. I was the first person that came to his mind. But again, we do not even talk anymore.

      Does that mean that he really wasn't my husband in the first place? I am not sure but now I would hope that he wasn't because the time spent together showed me that he wasn't what I wanted in the first place. Maybe he was and the dream was correct or maybe he never was and I was trying to use the dream to make him become something he couldn't be. I have had dreams come to pass but I am not so sure now that I want this one to come to pass...unless he made major changes.

      Also had a friend tell me a story of how her good friend and her boyfriend (at the time) both had dreams that they were to marry but she says now they can't stand to even speak.

      Not saying all of this to crush your hopes of him being the one but as Heather mentioned, don't let it become a distraction to where you take your focus off God. I did and I wasted valuable time! 1.5 years to be exact of focusing on him and making sure things went as my dream said. I still learned some valuable lessons but I would take back all of the time, emotions, and effort I put into it...to get nothing from it.

      Don't force it (like I tried). If he is the one then you will have peace about it and he will begin pursuing you. Until then focus on the things God has you to focus on.

      Hope this helps!

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    3. Hey! God also speaks to me in visions and dreams. I had a dream about this one gentleman and in it he said I was his wife. Shortly after we became friends, however now we do not even communicate. I had the dream first and he told me it was prophesied to him what his wife looked like, job, etc... months later. I was the first person that came to his mind. But again, we do not even talk anymore.

      Does that mean that he really wasn't my husband in the first place? I am not sure but now I would hope that he wasn't because the time spent together showed me that he wasn't what I wanted in the first place. Maybe he was and the dream was correct or maybe he never was and I was trying to use the dream to make him become something he couldn't be. I have had dreams come to pass but I am not so sure now that I want this one to come to pass...unless he made major changes.

      Also had a friend tell me a story of how her good friend and her boyfriend (at the time) both had dreams that they were to marry but she says now they can't stand to even speak.

      Not saying all of this to crush your hopes of him being the one but as Heather mentioned, don't let it become a distraction to where you take your focus off God. I did and I wasted valuable time! 1.5 years to be exact of focusing on him and making sure things went as my dream said. I still learned some valuable lessons but I would take back all of the time, emotions, and effort I put into it...to get nothing from it.

      Don't force it (like I tried). If he is the one then you will have peace about it and he will begin pursuing you. Until then focus on the things God has you to focus on.

      Hope this helps!

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    4. It's just so crazy because January 2010 someone gave me a prophetic word saying "god says wait on him, he knows who your husband is. Don't be distracted". I have turned every guy down since then. Then I saw this guy in March 2010. Smh I think it was love at first sight. Plus i never pursued him. i admit i asked around because i wanted to know who he was but our friendship blossomed over two years when we joined the youth praise team and has now completely dwindled (ended abruptly).
      -----------nevertheless,

      Your love for God and Gods timing has been such a blessing to me. I'll just continue to hide all these things in my heart. I'll wait and see what happens.

      Thanks!

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    5. Haha sounds like we have similar stories here. The best thing we can do is wait on God and His guidance and being open to His direction with clean filters; keeping our emotions out of it.

      My motto this year is to not waste time anymore. Focusing on things and people that matter and not on those who really shouldn't have my focus and using all of my emotions, time, & energy where God wants it for each particular season.

      These prophetic words may be for the future still, who knows but if God isn't keeping you in a certain place don't try to force your way in. I had to learn this the hard way but I am working on it daily.

      My honest feeling now is that all of this was some sort of test for me. I learned SOO much from it and whether it all comes true or not I have definitely gotten something out of the experience.

      The similarities in stories has me very interested now. Well I will pray for you and more clarity for your situation :-)

      Say focused and God bless!

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  67. Thanks Heather so much for sharing this! Loved reading it! I was so happy to read #6 in particular because that has been one of my things that I look for specifically but have not came across. I am a very strong woman and most men I've dated have not lead me or given me permission to be submissive and play my role solely as the woman.

    I told a friend that I wanted a man to "put me in my place" (in a healthy way of course) and they laughed at me, lol. Finally someone understands what I am talking about!

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  68. Hmmm......I am truly blessed by this. My relationship with Christ is not where I want it to be, so for this year 2013 I am challenging myself to be in the face of God

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  69. Your list is very similar to mine! We dated for awhile without telling anyone for the first few months and on Thanksgiving 2011, we finally told everyone. On Thanksgiving 2012 we got engaged and we're getting married this August. Almost 2 years to the date we first began a relationship. Love it! And I'm loving this site even more! Be blessed!!

    www.ajeannine.blogspot.com

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  70. This was right on time! God bless you for this! This isn't just a random post. God allowed you to post this for a reason. It has definitely blessed me. Thank you! :)

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  71. That's a nice story. It's really important to be sure that the person you will marry is the one for you or else you will have a hard time committing in the marriage.

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  72. Hello Heather, i must say im so glad i stumbled onto your blog today, its great. Thanks for sharing examples from your own life, especially spending time alone with God. GOD Bless you sister

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  73. What else can I say? Indeed God has still got stars shining brighter for him by the day and showing his glory to the world. Heather, you are one of those stars God showed to Abraham when he was talking about his descendants and not just any of the stars but that very bright shining star-the glorious seed of Abraham. God's got you in view and I reckon He's just started with you. Love you so much and I am persuaded that God loves you even much more. *Hugs*

    www.temisigns.blogspot.com

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  74. This touched me so....its speaks to me so loud because our stories are so similar I'm called to ministry to....like I had been away from the guy for a few months God still speaks to me on him & others in the church my mom but the seperation lead me to b closer to God & to healing in broken places in my life from the past....we are suppose to be married before my 24 th bday now 23 God told me he called me early because he wants me to marry the right guy & for my minstry to birth forth & its all about God & ministry & his will for my life believe me I ran because I'm like young didn't want to b tied down its like so many distrations, he bought him into my life in between me being content with the counterfeit, I knew of my future hubby since middle school but we didn't communicate til 2011 he said he watched me all these years saw me around but we never ever spoke this is God because its funny how the enemy had his match so close to Gods match they were similar in so many ways but spiritually he dnt complete me At that time God started showin me reason in dreams & how the other guy coouldnt b when i broke it off with him my dreams change to weddings & kids & my ministry with him & then some but before my future hubby came on the scene God showed me him & a son that looks like my future hubby skin color and all but at that time he didnt show me his face....my spirit cries when i talk bout it i become emotional & i feel at peace I often wonder if I made to many mistake to deserve this, I'm like wondering how he is going to put this together like he said how he showed me in dreams & vision am I going to b ready enough its so much to b done God I dnt even see it....sorry for the typos thanks for sharing because this made me more confident.....

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  75. You are a God sent! Jesus is so beautiful and I love him so much! i am in love with him. One day i did pray for me to be his friend and now he is doing that, i am blessed in everything you write. God bless you! From East Africa!

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  76. This is a great testimony. I wish you both many fruitful years together x

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  77. Thank you, Heather! You made an absolutely stunning bride! God bless!

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  78. Your Awesome Heather!! Such a great example, I have read a lot of your blogs and every time I read one I want to live a better life for Jesus!! This is encouraging and I know God will bless me with my husband in his perfect time. I will remain faithful to my maker and I know he will write my love story Becuase he's writing my life story. God bless you and your husband and your ministry!!:)

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  79. Hi heather Congrats!!! Its a wonderfull feeling to be Blessed by the all mighty God to send a man personally from God himself! !
    I just Wish and I Pray and Hope ready to Give up on God sent I've been waiting I like and attracted to a guy but I have a feeling and know he's not the one..!!

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  80. Beautiful story
    my fav

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  81. this is beautiful..i have a boyfriend who is trying to find who he is in Christ..he is amazing in all aspects but the fact that we arent exactly on the same spiritual levels bothers me..its the only thng about him that bothers me about him....am praying for him and we are both tryng to exercise a good pure chrostian relationship but i feel like am the spiritual leader....should i jus sit bak and pray or i need to act upon somethings that steer us in the right direction which by doing these thngs i will feel like the leader again and again yet some actions are inevitable like praying fellowshiping going to church nd others

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  82. I sooooooo needed this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you. I am dating a wonderful man of Christ. At this present time we are fasting for a week to seek God and ask him to confirm that he is my Husband and that I am his wife! Thank you for this encouragement! And thank you for keeping it real!!!!!!!!

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  83. Heather, thank you for your boldness to live for Christ and share this story. I live by confirmation and God ordered my steps to read this 'randomly' today. I had no idea about you, your blog, or ministry until this month but really today. I pray God will continue to bless your union and that all women of God who desire to be married grow loser to God, hungry for His word and patience for His divine timing.

    Iyore Odighizuwa
    Royal ID

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  84. Heather, your are an amazing women of God!! Your blog has been a blessing to me. May I ask how quickly after meeting theses "good Christian guys" did you not feel peace? This is my struggle.....I don't know if its lack of peace or fear from past relationship that causes me to be unsure. I absolutely pray about it...but this is an area I don't deal with very easily. Any other words of wisdom/advice you can share?

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  85. Heather, reading this was like reading about myself. A lot of what you said relates to me too, so thanks a lot for sharing that out because it's encouraged many of us single Christian ladies who are learning to trust God on that issue and continue on to pursue a personal relationship with him. And I'm so happy for you. God bless your marriage. Keep the encouraging posts coming because some of us really need to relate to real life scenarios you know? Peace be with you.

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  86. Wow, I'm all too familiar with trying to stay in relationships in spite of not having God's peace. I regret all the time I wasted in the past. I am single and have been for about 3 years and these years have been so important in my personal growth and walk with Christ.

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  87. This is really inspiring Heather, God richly bless you.
    It hasn't been an easy journey for me and this year I will be 28. I will keep holding on and trusting God for my Adam, knowing that He will give me the best!

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  88. I loved this article. However, my boyfriend and I want to get married, but i dont feel 100% confident that we are spiritually ready....i told him that, but i dont know if that was good. for the reason, that he may change just for me and not for God. We are both christians. what should i do? did i do the right thing? thanks!

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  89. Congrats! Beautiful story. We don't often here of real life stories like yours. It is a rarity for couples to work through the pitfalls; Your story is a story of God ordained true love. I pray that God will continue to richly bless your covenant with your husband.

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  90. Lovely sister! Beautifully written! I was searching for "what the bible says about trust in marriage" and came across your blog. I hope that our marriage will fulfill God's purposes as yours is...thank you for sharing, gives me hope =)

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  91. Thank you. Earlier this morning i was feeling so depressed thinking if really God had me at heart.was all negative thinking about how my relationships do not work and the few guys who approach me, cut me off suddenly. i am not desperate so adun think i act like it. was wondering where i could find a word in the bible that will assure me that all was well. i couldnt get to read anything because i had meetings to attend. i get back to the office, browse and chance upon this. feels like God gave me an answer. despite all the negatives, we just have to trust God's word and take him at his word...

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  92. Hey Heather! Thank you very much for your testimony! I'm new to your blog and you inspire me a lot! You have got a beautiful family! Bless…xxx

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  93. You're cute as a button, Heather. And y'all are just beautiful together! This made me laugh and was a great source of encouragement for me!! Thank you!

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  94. I know it's already 2014, but I came upon your post. I really admire your story and what God has done for you. But I have a question, How did you know for sure that God told you that you would get married at 27? Like how did He tell you? there has been times that I believed without a doubt that God had told me something but then it seemed later that I was wrong for what I heard and that maybe it wasn't God. But then I wonder , why did I feel as if it was really Him speaking to me? So how am I really supposed to know it was Him? I felt so peaceful and I felt like the Holy Spirt was present at those moments. What I'm trying to say is about 2 months ago I felt as if God had told me who I would marry but it doesn't seem like anything is happening, like the guy isn't pursuing me or anything and He is a godly man but He has been distant & I feel like He's not even interested in me or maybe he thinks he's to good for me..idk.. But your story seems very similar to mine. I got out of a relationship with a guy like 3 months ago as well, I feel like I'm over him because I would only get anxiety around him like I knew God didnt want him for me. He was not in love with Christ like I am. I'm only 20 and I'm learning a lot still but if you can write back and answer my questions , I thank you. My email is karrysilva@yahoo.com thank you if you take time to read my message.

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  95. Thank YOU so much for this post, Heather. May God continue to anoint you and your ministry. Im am really glad you mentioned that "sometimes, we think we have to marry someone we aren't attracted to because we think that he's it. Once, I dated this guy that I wasn't 100% attracted to and I struggled with it and thought I had to marry him because he was one of the first Christan guys I dated after I got saved. I didn't know there were cute Christians. Jus sayin'. I wanna LIKE looking at him for the rest of my life." I couldn't agree with you more!!

    My question is what do you do when you are ALREADY engaged to someone you are NOT attracted to?? But you keep praying that God changes your heart to see him in a different light and over look things (like he is over weight/has stretch marks all over his arms, etc.). I am closer to 40 years old and can't bare the thought of being single another year if I break off this engagement. My though is, if this is his one flaw I am willing to put up with it for the rest of my life, but I have NO peace about it. He has almost all the qualities you listed, but on the attractiveness scale from 1 to 10 he is a 4! Am I being shallow or nah??

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