Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Read This If You're Suffering From the "Mommy Guilt" Syndrome

So, one morning, I was scrolling on my TimeHop app and I saw that five years ago, around this time - my husband and I were in Dubai! It was SO much fun! We went out to visit a friend and host a small bible study. 

No kids. 

No mommy guilt. 

No "what is so & so doing?"

No worrying about my babies.

No stressing out about my babies.

No food prep before you leave for your babies.

No arranging with family members. 

No nothing.

Just a couple of carefree people, enjoying Dubai! 

A photo I snapped in 2011 of our hotel in Dubai

Now, when we go on trips, things change. Either the kids are coming with us and it feels like we are packing up a small studio apartment or, we are doing all of the above to arrange a safe and healthy environment for our babies. Don't get me wrong, our babies give us a brand new reason to live outside of purpose. Our babies are beautiful assignments that we take VERY seriously on this earth. We seek to raise them to know Jesus & accomplish their purpose on this earth. Now, we have an amazing responsibility that we've never had before to take care of these little beautiful humans. 

So, the moment we go anywhere - back to work, to travel, to do anything else -- all of the sudden your mind gets overwhelmed with the "what ifs?" 

Will my babies be ok in daycare?
What if my nanny isn't loving towards our babies?
Will my milk supply be enough while I'm gone?
Did I pump enough?
What if the plane crashes while traveling?
What if something happens to me! 
Who is going to raise my babies? Nobody can raise them like me! 

If you're a mama, you have felt these things. 

But, today - in the name of Jesus - we are going to be free from the guilt, condemnation and unnecessary expectations that we place on ourselves. 

Sis, through Christ - you are enough as a mother. Stop beating yourself up about taking time away from your kids as you're directed by the Lord. I had to learn that my children are GOD'S children too and He loves them MORE than I could ever love them. I think if we can grasp that concept, then we may be less controlling when it comes to these things. I believe that if we wake up, put one foot in front of the other and depend on the Lord's wisdom on how to raise our babies then THAT is enough. 

And trust me, I don't have this all together. I literally had to preach this to myself as I was preparing to head to London this week to preach at our conference. So, I did some research on guilt. It's "a bad feeling caused by knowing or thinking that you have done something bad or wrong." 

Is going to preach the gospel bad or wrong? 

Is going to work wrong?

Is going on a weekend trip with your husband to rekindle your marriage wrong? 
*Lets talk abut this really quick. Don't look up in 20 years and be an empty nester with your husband who is a stranger to you. You have to remember that YOU guys started together. It's so easy to get wrapped up in this or that  - instead, take time to focus on each other. Your kids NEED to see a healthy marriage. 

Is pumping like a mad woman & still not getting enough milk and then being FORCED to use formula wrong?

Is going on a weekend girls trip wrong?

Our sweet Taylor!

Absolutely not. 

In my case, I get the opportunity to be at home with our babies 24-7 and they typically travel with us! Leaving every now and then is ok. I had to remember that God is their Father first, they are in excellent hands and that it's a super quick ministry trip. Even in June, I have a girls trip coming up and I refuse to feel bad about it. I need times of refreshing. Times to pull away. Time to just sit there and reflect. Also, times to go to the bathroom without little fingers wiggling under the door. :)

So, I identify these things as false guilt.  

When it comes to feeling guilty, we must find the difference between false guilt and true guilt. It is normal to have feelings of guilt when we do something wrong—this is true guilt. But it is also possible to be innocent of something yet feel guilty about it—this is false guilt.

Like, the thoughts of am I an effective mother? 

Do I make the right decisions with our children?

Am I teaching them enough?

Are they eating healthy enough?

How am I supposed to make my kid eat healthy when they only want fries and pizza?

What vitamins should I give my children? Oh gosh, what if it's my fault that they aren't healthy?

 The main difference between false guilt and true guilt is their origins. False guilt has at least two possible points of origin: ourselves and the devil. One of the names of the devil in Scripture is “the accuser” (Revelation 12:10). It is a fitting name, as he accuses us to our own minds and consciences. Satan will bring to mind fears, worry and what ifs. And, because I know it's his job to distract me, 

I fight back with the word of God. 

So, repeat this after me:


He has no authority over us. (Luke 10:19) 
 - So, why do we believe his word over God's word?

"Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life."- Romans 5:18

The word "guilt" isn't found in scripture as it's a condition. We were conditioned to be guilty due to our sin nature. But, thank God for Jesus who lived and died for us so that we may be FREE from guilt and condemnation! God has FREED you! In His eyes, if we choose to beat ourselves us, then that's OUR choice an not HIS choice for us. 

I think there's a HUGE difference between conviction and guilt. For example, if I feel convicted to not let my son go to a children's party, or a sleepovers (sleepovers are a no, no in my book), or to a library class -- than I feel convicted by the Holy Spirit. I have learned the difference. I recall one time, I was traveling to preach somewhere and I stared at Logan's photo and videos for hours. (this was before Taylor). 

I was so distracted and emotional.

I missed my Logan. 

Then, the Lord said to me:: You are distracted Heather. You are more focused on Logan than you are on preaching and preparing for his message. Logan is fine. I have been taking care of him since he was conceived in your womb and I knew Him before then.  Rest your weary mind. 


Lord, I am up here being distracted and Logan is totally fine. 

So, your turn. What new articles are you meditating on and worrying about in your own life? Social media can be a spiritual battlefield for your mind if you aren't careful. You can read an article about a hot-car death or a something happening to a child while in nursery and fear over and over again. 

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life” (Matt 6:25-27)?

I LOVE this scripture and I pray over my family! 

Psalm 91
1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
    will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
    he is my God, and I trust him.
3 For he will rescue you from every trap
    and protect you from deadly disease.
4 He will cover you with his feathers.
    He will shelter you with his wings.
    His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
    nor the arrow that flies in the day.
6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
    nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
7 Though a thousand fall at your side,
    though ten thousand are dying around you,
    these evils will not touch you.

So, if you're struggling with any of the above, I encourage you to meditate on the scriptures, not on what you can see. Cast your care onto the Lord. He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7). God has NOT given you the spirit of fear, but of power, love & a sound mind! 

What if something happens to you? We know that God is omnipresent. He will provide for HIS babies. He will take care of your family. The seeds you planted will soon harvest so that they will know Christ. If our parents forsake us, or leave this earth - God will become their parents. I know it's a hard truth, but do what you know to do. Write a will, get life insurance. Trust that the Lord knows your days on this earth and that He will take care of your babies and your family with long life. 

He cares for you and your babies and HE will give you wisdom on how to raise them. 

So, is Satan constantly trying to make you feel guilty about something in your past or even something as simple as traveling without your babies? Whatever the case, recognize the origin of the guilt. If you're a sinning, repent. If you're pursuing Jesus - stop beating yourself down & walk out what He has called you to do. Be free from guilt. 

Just a few things:

1. Find my (4) books (including my NEW book, "The Runaway Bride"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  3600 Snapfinger Rd Lithonia, GA 30038

4. Register for the 2016 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 45,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,
Heather Lindsey

So thankful for this guy. My hubby! :)

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

"How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage"

Our sweet wedding day! 8/14/2010

Let's be honest, nobody gets married with the intent to get divorced. You get married with the mindset that it's "til death due us part." Then, you are in your marriage and then you find out that you had a certain expectations in marriage that you don't feel like are getting met. Then, you begin to compare your marriage to others, nag your spouse, then he's already stressed out and then he begins to work longer and doesn't open up so you vent to your mama, sisters and girlfriends and then you both live two completely different lives, under the same roof. You kinda feel like roommates.

Those days are coming to an end. Right now. Marriages are getting tested and hit so hard, it's so important that we do OUR part to make our marriages work. Yes, it's hard. Yes, there's times where I don't think my husband "deserves" it. Yes, its a constant sacrifice. Yes, you will develop and grow in your marriage. Yes, it will stretch you like NEVER before. And, I'm 110% confident that my husband feels the same way towards me. Marriage is beautiful work. The reality is that no relationship is perfect. If people are portraying perfection then they aren't telling the whole truth. And they don't have to share their tests with you. EVERY  marriage is working itself out & going through hurdles, beautiful times, rough storms and whatever else.

There's seasons to marriage.

Now, we are in the 6th year of our marriage and we've been together for 8 years. So, how do I know we aren't getting divorced? Honey, if we were gonna get divorced it would have happened in year one. It was ROUGH. I am thankful for those rough times because now we are in a different season in our marriage. I had to press past those feelings that my life was better outside of my marriage and recognize that everything I needed was right under the roof of Cornelius Lindsey. INCLUDING my purpose. It was all right there. And, if I left my covering, I left the calling on our marriage and I am not willing to do that.  I stood before God and I said my vows which included saying "I do" to a lot of things that I "don't." Like, picking up his socks and dirty dishes that he leaves everywhere! :) Instead of complaining about housework or the fact that he doesn't clean up much around the house - I instead focus on his strengths and I go pick up those socks. He's a GREAT husband, father, leader, pastor and visionary. He literally started a church from the bottom and it's thriving. He is caring, loving and kind. He constantly considers me and our children. He never stays out late and he ALWAYS puts us first. He has godly friends. He's always home by 5pm - ready to love on and serve me & our children. You see, these are just a COUPLE of the great things about my husband! AND, they cancel out the few pet peeves. Isn't it funny how satan just gets in our head and tries to get us mad at our spouses about small things? Your issue may not be socks. It could be something big like adultery or if your husband stays out late. Well, I think that there's something beautiful about letting God change YOU and then you will watch your husband change.

You may be thinking I'm kinda' crazy especially since I don't know your husband. Well, I do know the One who created your husband in his mother's womb and His name is God. He sent His only son down to the earth to die for our sins and reconcile us back to Him through Jesus Christ. He defeated death. He defeated sin. He won for us. Can He NOT heal and fix your marriage? Can He not give you wisdom on him since He created your husband? I found that when my marriage what at it's worst, my mouth and attitude was at it's worse. I was nagging my husband's every move, I was rebellious and I didn't submit to him. How can I expect a good marriage if I refuse to develop in self control and I blame my husband for the discontentment birthed in me as a single? I realized that I have a PART to play in the success of my marriage. I cannot blame my rejection growing up, my insecurity or whatever else. I had to take responsibility for Heather. And, as women, I pray that you do the same. You know I love ya'll and I just want to see you thriving in marriage and showing others that God heals dead marriages!

So, whether you're courting, engaged or married - I wanted to share a few things that I've learned.

1. It is the Holy Spirit's job to change my husband, my job is to pray for Him. No, seriously. My nagging, complaining and whatever else will only temporarily get my husband to change. So, he will do certain things just to shut me up - not because it's real. When the Holy Spirit gets a hold of your husband, that change is eternal. 

2. Don't freak out when he tells you crazy stories from the gym, when he went paintballing or in general. I want him to share everything with me & he won't if I get overly emotional & motherly on his tail. Who wants to sleep with their mother? Nobody. Thus, let's stop talking down as if your husband isn't grown himself. And, what if he does hurt himself rock climbing up some mountain? Well, you'll be there to nurse him to health & help him to feel better. That's the testosterone in a man, sis! Just revert back to #1 and pray that He has wisdom on what to do. 

3. Marriage is a journey. So you marry someone who doesn't have your deal breakers and.. Then get ready to go on a journey. If my hubby doesn't "figure it out" in a certain area by year 2, he will figure it out in year 4. Be patient. You're both growing.  My hubby is GROWING into my dream guy. And, He is things that I didn't even know that I wanted or needed. Like, the biggest family man ever! Our family is together about 21 hours of the day and we LOVE it! #Grace

4. Shut up. Yup. We both shut up a lot with each other. There's no point in arguing because we aren't divorcing. Choose your battles. We pursue peace like crazy in our home, put on our big girl & boy pants & act like Christian adults. If an argument gets heated, we use the code word "Jesus" and all arguments cease until a later time when emotions aren't so high. 

5. Protect your marriage. Me & my husband are one flesh and I want make sure others see him like they see me. I will always be his number one fan and vice versa. I ain't sharing our arguments with people who will hold onto it long after we made up. Meaning, I am not calling my mama and complaining to her because although I may forgive my husband - it may take her longer to forgive. Although my mother is amazing and very loving - I'm still her baby girl. #Protection

6. We don't bring up the past. It's behind us for a reason. Move on. #Grace
7. If your spouse is saying a concern, listen. They know you best and believe them. #Mirror

8. You better learn to be content broke or with money because that can make or break your marriage. We had a season our first year of marriage where we ate rice for dinner most nights. I lit a candle and we had a candlelight dinner. And, you better believe if we ever got evicted, we would be evicted together in a tent on the street. Cuddling. For richer or for poor will get tested. #HesMine

9. He loves me like Christ loves the church and submits to God and I submit to him as onto the Lord. He's my leader. And, God honors us because we honor him.

10. If I ever feel like ministry or life is getting too busy and we aren't focused on each other, I tell Cornelius ..and he shuts his whole day down to spend it with me. I use my concerns wisely. I don't use them emotionally so this happens maybe 1-2x a year. We got work to do but family is first after God. #MarriageGodsWay 

11. Laugh a lot. Stop taking everything so serious!! Literally, find what is funny and do that together. (Make sure it's biblical/not making fun of others, etc)

12. Be his biggest cheerleader! The world is going to try to tear him down and when he walks into his home, He shouldn't get the same treatment - even if you don't think he deserves it. 

13. A rough patch in your marriage doesn't define your marriage. It's just a moment. Press through it and fight for your marriage and stop fighting each other. 

14. Your marriage is what you make it - so make it so good!

15. Use discernment when bringing up issues (example: if my husband just got done preaching, it's not the time to dump all of my issues onto him)

16. Your husband is not your God. He cannot solve all of your problems and fix your crazy thoughts. Only Jesus can do that so if you're feeling disconnected from your husband it may be because you're feeling disconnected to God. Let Him show you what to do. Our first relationship with with Jesus and then our spouse.

17. Find time to go to marriage retreats together. YOU NEED that time where you grow together. Our church, The Gathering Oasis has a marriage retreat every year. If you cannot make this one, find one locally but get away and try to attend one a year. You have to remember why you started together. This years retreat is Sept 31-August 4th in Scottsdale, AZ.

18. Don't let your children become first. It's hard when your kids scream louder than your husband but it's important that your husband still feels first and the kids second (of course with Jesus as your foundation). I love Logan but I make it clear to him that I make daddy's & logan's plate together but mommy serves daddy first. And, he helps me serve him. I want to make sure Logan sees it so when he starts courting, he understands how he should be treated by a woman. I don't want to look up to an empty nest "home" in 20 years and I don't know my husband because I spent more time grooming and serving my kids while ignoring my husband. Granted, if Logan is super hungry - my hubby will make him food or I will really quick but on a average day, I want him to see that I get to serve my husband.

19. Schedule date days! Every Friday, we have our date lunch and every Saturday is our family day. It's so important that you are intentional with your family.  Your family life is as strong as your marriage.

20. Lastly, seek the Lord with all of your heart and spend time with Him daily. Pray for your spouse, ask the Lord to help you to love him. Ask the Lord to help him to love you like Christ loved the church.

BONUS: Tell yourself that you have no plan "b" and that divorce is not an option. In our home, we have decided that we will not divorce. That word isn't even allowed in our thoughts or conversations! So, if you have a plan b - you need to cut that person off, quit the job because that man keeps giving you attention and do whatever else it takes to guard your heart.

You may read this and say, "Heather, this won't work for me. I have a one-sided marriage." Well, I know I've loved my husband when I felt like he didn't deserve it. My husband loved me when I didn't deserve it. We are all taking steps to love like Jesus loves us. That's the kind of marriage I want to have - a marriage centered around Christ, loving HIS way. Give marriage His way a chance. You never know what He could do to restore your marriage.

Well, that's all for now! I love you all!

Just a few things:

1. Find my (4) books (including my NEW book, "The Runaway Bride"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  3600 Snapfinger Rd Lithonia, GA 30038

4. Register for the 2016 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. We are headed to London for the Holy Desperation Conference! Join us! www.lindseysinlondon2016.eventbee.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 45,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

God loves you all like crazy!
Heather Lindsey 

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Updated: My Favorite Vitamins! (Hubby & Children included!)

So, I did a blog YEARS ago on my favorite vitamins and I must say, things have changed! I wanted to update everyone on my favorite vitamins and share what my husband, our 3 year old son & 8 month old daughter use to be healthy & strong.

First and foremost, it's important to recognize that you need to take vitamins daily. I am not a certified health instructor or anything, I'm just a stalker and a research queen. I am SUPER intentional about eating healthy, taking the right vitamins and making sure that my family is doing the same thing. I just KNOW that sometimes, I don't get all of the nutrients I need and I'm breastfeeding. These vitamin ensure that I get what I need! I believe that it's the "keeper of the home" in me that desires to have a healthy home so I'm excited to share what I use! I've been using most of these vitamins for years now. As I will mention, its important that you have an overall healthy lifetsyle. Let's put the fried chicken, butter, sugar and pork chops down and pick up a healthy recipe book!

Note that this is what works for ME. Be sure to run whatever by whoever to make sure that you're allowed the below.

Amen? Amen.

Note that I have purchased most of these at Whole Foods, Sprouts, Goodness Grocery Store in Smryna, GA and www.vitacost.com. I stay away from Amazon as they didn't package my probiotics correctly. They should be refrigerated and they were not upon arrival.

My vitamins 

1. First, I take the MegaFood Baby and Me Pre & Post Natal Whole Food Multivitamin. I'm still breast-feeding and I could get pregnant at any time. My prayer is that we don't get pregnant but if the Lord sees otherwise, I want to make sure that my body is getting the proper nutrition. I typically purchase everything from www.vitacost.com because it's typically cheaper than in stores. I LOVE these prenatals because I only have to take 2 and they are 100% raw ingredients. You can even watch them make it online. Most vitamins are synthetic - thus your body cannot identify with them. It's important that you aren't just grabbing for a "One a Day" or something synthetic. Make sure it's a RAW vitamin. I have also used Garden of life - RAW prenatal but you have to take like 4 and when I was pregnant, I would just take half because my tummy was so queasy. These "Baby & Me" multi's are easy on my tummy, give me a ton of energy and I've never had a problem with them.

2. Probiotic. Probiotic. Probiotic. Your immune system will THANK you later. It's so important that you realize that taking a daily probiotic will keep you from getting sick, build your immune system and help you deal with those seasonal allergies. Also helps to clear acne, digestive problems and SO much more. Please. Go get some now. lol. My FAVORITE is the Garden of Life RAW Probiotics - Ultimate Care. I choose to take this one because I'm nursing and I just had a baby. I also take it because it seems like everyone was sick this winter. They also have a women's 90 capsule one that I would recommend if you aren't pregnant, nursing or just had a baby. And, it's a bit cheaper.

3. Omega 3's/DHA. I take this to help with the development of Taylor's brain and because I'm not a seafood eater. I use Nordic Naturals Prenatal DHA.  It's important that if you're going to take your Omega 3's that it's a quality fish oil. This one has worked for me!

4. Since, I don't eat meat- I take a Megafood Blood Builder every other day. This thing is PACKED with iron and it doesn't hurt your stomach. I may be totally obsessed with it! :) It got me through my last pregnancy! I would take it at night and wake up with a TON of energy. I used to be sluggish in my pregnancy and this pill changed everything.

5. Every now and then, I pop a Garden of Life Vitamin Code Raw B- Complex pill. This helped my hair edges after I gave birth to Taylor. I personally don't trust all of these hair pills so I just stick to this one as it's tried and true. One of the cool things about Vitamin B pills is that they help your skin, hair, nails, energy AND repel mosquitos. For.the.win.

6. I LOVE this immune booster. I SWEAR by it. Whenever I feel a cold coming on - I take 2 of these and it fights it off right away. It's called the Fungi Perfecti Host Defense My Community Comprehensive Immune Support.  I checked out the reviews on Amazon and people call these things miracle pills that have been used to fight cancer. Pretty amazing. These pills help boost your immune system and I will forever use them!

7. And, last but not least- I have used this digestive enzyme for awhile now. Your body only has a certain amount of digestive enzymes so, help it out a little bit and pop a couple of these before you eat! It helps break the food down fast. Honestly, I only use these a couple times a week when I remember! Called: Advanced Enzyme System.

Ok, onto my hubby!

My Husband's Vitamins 

1. My husband's daily multi is the Garden of Life Vitamin Code® Men RAW . He LOVES it and he notices when he doesn't take it. As mentioned, everyone should take a multi daily! There's no way that you can get the exact needed nutrition so these are great helpers! 

2. As I mentioned above, probiotics are super important! He takes the Garden of Life RAW Probiotics™ Men -- 85 billion

3. He also takes the mushroom immune support in #6 above!

4. Lastly, he get's his Omega 3's from here! Nordic Naturals Omega 3's.

Logan's Vitamins 

1. For Logan, we LOVE the Intra Kids Children's Liquid Drink. We call it Logan's "power juice" and HE LOVES IT!!! He thinks that it makes him big, strong and "muscles" like daddy. :) Which is true. So, after stalking reviews for the BEST kid's vitamin, I ran across this one. But, it was like $70! So, I'm like - I am willing to TRY it to see if I see a difference in Logan. And, it lasts about 2 months and I must say - I saw a BIG difference. He's more focused, he picks up quicker on things, he's more "regular" if you know what I mean and he's EVEN understanding and speaking some spanish. So, the reviews were true for me. To me, if that meant cutting back in other areas so Logan can have a good vitamin, I'm down for the cause. 

2. Again, probiotics are a MUST! I use RAW Kids Probiotics and I put them in Logan's fresh squeezed juice. 

Taylor's Vitamins 

1. For our sweet Taylor, I use a multi-vitamin packet that seems to work well. We simply put it in her pumped bottle. It's the Rainbow Light NutriStart powder packets. 

2. Gotta build her immune system with the probiotics! I use the Raw Kids Probiotics and put it in her pumped bottle as well. 

3. I know that most doctors recommend vitamin D but it's included her her powder multi packets. I also have not found one that works for me and I simply take Taylor out daily for her natural vitamin D- or the sun with some baby sunscreen! 

I hope these help! Again, do your research, figure out what works best for your family & rock on!

Just a few things:

1. Find my (4) books (including my NEW book, "The Runaway Bride"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  3600 Snapfinger Rd Lithonia, GA 30038

4. Register for the 2016 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. We are headed to London for the Holy Desperation Conference! Join us!www.lindseysinlondon2016.eventbee.com 

6. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 40,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

God loves you like crazy,
Love you all so much!

Heather Lindsey
Me & my sweet Taylor! 

Friday, February 12, 2016

My Husband Left His 9-5 Job for good & It was the Best Thing That Ever Happened To Us

Some of you may be reading this and thinking, "I wish my husband WOULD leave His job! He needs to be the provider over our family. He cannot just up and leave his job."

Well, I agree with you.


Here's my story.

It was October 2010 and we had been married for about three months. My husband had a nice paying job and I had a great job working from home doing HR at a Hedge Accounting Firm that was located in New York. Life was good. We had the house, our own parking spot at church, the 2 car garage, the white picket fence, stocked 401k's and all of that good stuff.

Until the Lord to my husband to leave his job. My husband got really quiet for about 2 weeks. I sensed that something was wrong with him but being a newlywed - I think I was more upset than anything. WHY WON'T HE TALK TO ME! I don't understand. IS he mad at me?? What did I do? Thankfully, I learned over time that he was thinking and internalizing. The Lord was dealing with him about leaving his job and starting to prepare him for full time ministry. We KNEW that the day was going to come where we were going to start a ministry but we didn't think it would happen so soon. So, I encouraged him. I told him that we walk by faith and if the grace is gone AND the Holy Spirit is LEADING you to do it. I submit to you babe. I truly believe that the Lord is our Provider, NOT you. Plus, I didn't want to be that nagging wife that shut down every idea and vision.

So, my husband goes to work and resigns. Wow. That's it. He has really quit his job and we don't have a whole lot of savings but I'm not going to tell anyone.  I bet they are going to tell me that we are stupid, crazy and out of line for making a decision as such. I wasn't afraid or scared. I was actually excited. I believe that the Lord gave us this beautiful gift of faith that says, "hey, I came into the world with nothing' and if I die with nothing, I don't care either. As long as I spend eternity with Jesus - I'm good." So, let's do it! AND, I also BELIEVED in my husbands vision. I KNEW without a shadow of doubt that the Lord was going to use us to preach to millions of people. Even though, I didn't see it.

So, my husband says that we are going to move to Mississippi.

Mississippi? "Babe, I just moved here from New York City. I mean, do they at least have a whole foods? No whole foods? Welp, let's pack up and go! I support you and I believe in you." I love pretty hard- so at that point, I'm like, If you wanna move to Alaska, I'm going to get some snow boots and go with you because I pretty much love your face! :)

I was reminded of Genesis 12:1:
"The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you."

We didn't know that land or anything about it but we truly believed that God would show us. 
I remember driving down the highway and pulling up to our apartment that we booked ONLINE. We didn't even see it before hand and it was so small that we had to give away things that wouldn't fit inside. I still to this day miss my glass dining room set. (no judgement :)) So, we are all moved in and I look at my husband and think, well, I guess we are going to get started with this ministry thing that the Lord gave us. So, we quietly prayed and I continued to work from home at my job. I thank GOD for the favor that job gave me because the Lord USED that job to provide for our family. It wasn't "oh, I'm working and my husband isn't so I'm going to disrespect him." No, God told both ME and my husband that he was not supposed to get a 9-5. I knew it without a shadow of doubt. In moments where my hubby did get tired, depressed or down - the Holy spirit reminded us that we were where we were supposed to be. Did other people understand it? No. So, when I got questions like, "So, your husband left his job to go pray" from people that knew us - we boldly answered, YES."
See, if you understand the purpose and the power of prayer and studying your bible then you wouldn't think that it was a waste of time. "Well, studying your bible doesn't pay the bills." Well, obedience does. And, again, the Lord used my job during that season to cover everything so that we could do what the Lord called us to do. I would watch my husband study for 8-12 hours a day and then he would come back and teach me everything he would learn. I didn't know that the Lord was preparing him to be a Pastor. I would continue to study my word and stay in the bible as well. It's like the Holy Spirit had to teach us who He was all over again in this wilderness period.

We still had no friends nearby. Our old church family pretty much threw us away because they disagreed with us leaving. No family nearby. Just a 1 bedroom apartment, Jesus, each other, eating rice pretty much every night for dinner and a lot of deferred student loans. No wonder why we considered divorce our first year. We were fighting because we felt so alone! We were trying to become that "one flesh" and we were struggling financially, emotionally with so many other things. It was very much a wilderness period for us.

But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

We NEEDED it. Why?

Because the wilderness season doesn't last always. My husband taking the LEAD to leave his job to do what GOD told Him to do was the BEST thing that ever happened to our marriage and LIFE. Why? Because in Mississippi, is where The Gathering Oasis was started (our growing church that is now in Atlanta). In Mississippi, I started Pinky Promise. The organization that encourages women to honor God with their life and body. In Mississippi, we learned to trust God like never before for our DAILY bread. In Mississippi, we learned what true friendship really means. In Mississippi, we learned that we will NOT ever get divorced. We will work through each test and trial and fight FOR our marriage. In Mississippi, we learned that GOD alone is our Provider.

Sadly, too many of us are playing it safe and we've gotten into this routine. We are afraid to step out on faith and trust in the Lord. All the while, He's saying, go here - go there. Maybe, He's said that to you but you complained that there wasn't enough savings in the account. Or maybe, you've said  - Lord, the only money I have is my 401k. We need that. Hey, in that season we had to cash out of our 401k. Hey, we were walking by faith and we were led to do so. Are you quenching what the Lord is trying to do in your husband? Most likely, your husband won't read this blog - but you will. So, between you and the Lord, has there been times where you've shut down ideas or visions that your husband has because you're worried about material things? I believe that God will use your marriage to solve a problem on this earth and I wonder if God has to raise up your children to do what you will not do?

I look back and I don't know how we payed our bills or how we even lived but it didn't matter. I truly trusted that the Lord was going to do what He said He would do. He provided. I'm telling you - when God tells you to do something, He provides what you need to accomplish it.

So what now? We are in Mississippi and we start to get speaking engagements. So, we would travel to Atlanta every weekend to fly out to a different place. It was getting to the point where we would be in Atlanta for a month here & there. I really sensed that the Lord was telling us to move back after being in MS for a year. But, I didn't want to get ahead of my husband or influence him. I felt like as my leader, He could hear the voice of the Lord as well and He can lead us BOTH back here. Two months later after me thinking that - my husband comes to me and says, "Babe, the Lord is leading us back to Atlanta." WHEW! Thank GOD. I missed Atlanta! And guess what? That day, we also found out that we were pregnant with Logan. Then, the next day - my job told me that they need me to move back to NYC OR I will lose my work-from home job. Talk about another huge test. THEN, on my last day of work - the transmission goes out in my truck. So, at this point, we had been saving for 6 months so I could leave my job and I had so much work that needed to be done on my truck that it wiped out most of my savings.

"LORD! I'm trying to be a good steward! WHY would you let this happen?" I have to use most of our savings to pay for this truck that is out of warranty!

"Oh Heather, you trusted in your savings account much more than you did in me."

Wait. Crap. He's right.

Matthew 6:24 tells us:
"No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

Now - fast forward to three years later and almost 13 books written between me and my husband. A thriving church in Atlanta, GA. A non-profit called Pinky Promise with over 45,000 women. I own a boutique. We have apps. We travel the world and speak. And, we own several businesses on top of the above. We ASKED the Lord to give us wisdom to do what He's called us to do so we wouldn't have to go back to 9-5. We knew that our purpose was to preach the gospel of Jesus and to share Jesus Christ with this world. AND we knew that no job or business could distract us from that mission. And, even to this day - we don't charge a set free to preach. We tell the churches that book us to give as the Holy Spirit LEADS them to give in an honorarium. We wouldn't dare put a number on the gift that the Lord gave us to teach. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. And, thus why have multiple businesses so that we don't have to depend on the churches we speak at to pay our bills. God takes care of us. We have truly LEARNED to trust God for our daily bread and that doesn't change with multiple businesses.

Now, I'm not saying all of this to toot our horn by any means. I don't want to stand up like we are so righteous and that we had everything together because that's far from the truth. We were just a country couple that love Jesus and we desired to live for Him. I truly understand James when it says, "faith without works is dead."

We had the faith to step out but if we never packed up our home and moved - our faith would be dead. My husband would still be working his "safe" 9-5 and we would never be doing what we are doing now.

We simply PAINTED our picture together. There was nothing "ready" made about our marriage. We had no connections, no hook ups, no investor, no great whatever. We literally had Jesus. WHICH IS MORE THAN ENOUGH. He made the heavens & the earth! Why do we trust in the created more than we do the Creator?? So, I ask you if you're single - do you write off men that are GOOD men but they don't have money in the bank? You may look at someone else's husband, like "why can't I find a good man?" Honey, you wouldn't have even considered him with your way of thinking! They worked OUT their marriage together and made it sweet & good. He was the janitor at that job and he tried to talk to you but you ignored him. Now, he's the CEO with a wife and kids and you're complaining about not having a good man! A good man is DEVELOPED. A good marriage takes WORK to develop and become an AMAZING marriage. MANY people want the final picture but don't realize the work that goes into it.

A few questions I had in my heart that may be asked while reading this blog:

1. Does this mean that every man needs to run and quit his job because he doesn't like it?

No. There is NO formula to this thing. It's called faith. It's called being led by the Holy Spirit. We KNEW that my husband was going to leave to go into ministry full time while we were courting so I wasn't surprised when it happened after we got married. He communicated to me where we were going and what we were doing.

2. What happened to the ministry in Mississippi?

Funny story - we actually started a church in a college classroom and then at a hotel and then in a auditorium. We were trying to start these things and we weren't ready. The church was supposed to START in Atlanta, GA. Not Mississippi. So, we eventually closed the church down and just did small bible studies there as the Lord continued to prune us.

3. My husband always has so many ideas. I'm afraid that we are going to go broke with his changing ideas. 

Sounds to me like you have a visionary type husband. In these cases, learn to enjoy the ride. I know it makes you nervous and it's hard at times but laugh, enjoy the journey and be his HELP-MEET and ask the Lord to help you with not nagging him. Its easy to nag the visionary because he may not have a lot of proof in his past of being a great leader. Instead, constantly build him up and pray for him. The Lord has prepared you and MADE you to be a great helper to Him. See where you can help & jump in.

4. My parents aren't having that. I have to marry a rich man with a great job and I want to respect their wishes. 

I understand. But, I'm reminded of:  Matthew 10:37 "If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine." Meaning, whose voice is first in your heart? If God is leading you to marry someone and the reasons your parents don't want you with him is because he's not rich - then, that ain't biblical and it's not a good reason. If this is the case, me and my husband would have never gotten married. We barely had enough to pay for our wedding. So, God's leading is first - parents is second.

5. What if we've been broke for a long time and we are just plain tired? 

Philippians 4:12 tells me that "I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little." I honestly feel like I went through the "money test" for about 9 years. I'm not even saying that we are "balling" now because we aren't but we definitely aren't where we used to be. I had to learn to be faithful with little before the Lord gave me more. I learned to GIVE when He led me. I know that giving is like .. whoa - the church is comin' for my money. I'm not just talking about giving to the church, but I also was giving to people in need that I knew needed it as HE led me. I was no longer attached to money. You can be greedy and broke and I wanted to make sure that the Lord was my God & not money. I was not to depend on paper but to depend on the Holy Spirit for ALL things.

So, cheers to being SUPPORTIVE of the leader you prayed for. He may not have what you think he needs now but if you married Him, you GET to believe in him. You GET to pray for him. You GET to fight together. You GET to paint your picture together. Does this mean that you're going to be rich or whatever else? Nah, it means that you're OBEDIENT to the Father and He says in 1 John when we LOVE Him, we obey HIM. This life is about being focused on ETERNITY. Not, this silly earth.

God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey
Our wedding day! August 14, 2010

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