Monday, November 6, 2017

"I Don't Feel Loved In My Marriage"



As I was scrolling through social media, I came across a blog with these words, " I don't feel loved in my marriage so I am leaving it."

My heart literally broke in two because I wondered how many people were reading this blog and forming an opinion of their marriage because at some point or another, you have felt that way in your marriage. I also wondered how many single people were reading the blog and forming an unrealistic idea of marriage. I'm currently writing a book on marriage so I figured I would share a snippet of a chapter because that blog literally lined up with what I was talking about in that chapter.

How many times has my husband felt unloved by me in the about 10 years we've been together?
Too many to count. 

How many times have I felt unloved by my husband?
Too many to count. 

Is my marriage headed towards divorce?
Absolutely not.

How many times has God felt unloved by you?
Too many times to count

How many times have you ran from Jesus?
Too many times to count. 

As a believer,  love the example of Jesus. He gives me perspective on every relationship, including my marriage. What happens when Jesus doesn't feel loved by you? What if He just left you? What if He just quit on you? Does Jesus make you happy 100%? It's impossible to make you happy all of the time because we are made up of this flesh, carnal nature. One minute we are living for Jesus and the next minute, we think about and want things that we know that we can't have.

 Listen to me - to everyone who is single or married and never forget this:

Just because you don't at times feel loved in your marriage, it is not an excuse to leave it. The danger in leaving your marriage for someone who "loves" you better is that you may get more of what you think you need in order to be happy while compromising in another area. He may touch you more, clean up around the house and work a job but he may also be touching another woman. Your husband was a great leader, he just didn't use words of affirmation. The next man will post about you all day and night and affirm you but that's about it. He's a terrible leader and spiritually, you have to lead the marriage because he gives you the control. Maybe your last husband had no job and your new boo is a lawyer. But instead of coming home to you he works and travels non-stop. Any free time he does have, he goes to the bar with his buddies. Pick your poison. Every marriage gets to work OUT their marriage to make it work. There's GOING to be conflict along the way. The question before I do is, "Find out his issue and see if you can live with it for the rest of your life." Because.. it may never change. But, I am talking to those of you who are currently married.

If our measuring stick for leaving your marriage is "I don't feel loved" then it's simply NOT good enough. Yes, you may be going through a tough time. Yes, your husband may not understand you, Yes you may be frustrated but do you remember your vows? "For Better or For Worse" will get tested. No HUMAN on this entire earth is going to be able to make you happy 100% of the time. The fight you're fighting is a spiritual one, not a physical one. Your enemy is NOT your spouse, its the devil. Some of you are in marriages right now and it's a pretty healthy marriage, you just have some areas where you're not happy. You've grown WEARY. You constantly wait for him to "change" but he never does. So, then do you just leave? So, you have this good man but this man doesn't meet up to the image of who you think he should be in your head?

Who told you that he has to be some other image?

Social media? Comparing your marriage to another marriage? Your family? A friend who recently divorced and bashes all marriages? Your messy single friends or that one single friend that would love to be married to your man?

Maybe it's not your spouse? Maybe it's you? Maybe you're completely unlovable. Maybe you're constantly psychoanalyzing him, trying to be his mama, maybe you treat him like trash and disrespect him. Maybe you nag and criticize him into a corner.

No, I cannot cheer you on for leaving.

Please hear my heart that I do understand cases where there's divorce and it's unwanted. Maybe your husband left you and ran off with some 18 year old. Maybe he cheated so many times or maybe he has physically abused you to the point where you are FORCED to leave. Now, I am not talking to those cases. That is called abandonment and it's NEVER ok for him to treat you that way. I am specifically talking to men that actually come home to their wives, he works an honest job, goes to church and he is TRYING to be good to you. You may not see all of the effort that you want to see, but you see SOME of it.

Isn't it crazy how we focus on what our spouse is doing but we don't make them 100% happy? Kinda hypocritical right? (And, I'm talking to myself too)

How do I know that you may not be the most loveable person at times?

Because I was her.

I was the most complaining, "higher than thou" wife. My husband felt like nothing that he did was good enough for me. That nagging, complaining, discontent spirit from my single days showed its ugly face in my marriage.

So, what do I do when I don't feel loved in my marriage?

I love.
Let me challenge you with this:

1 Corinthians 13:1-10 tells us:
"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.
 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love."

Did you read verse 4? It says that Love is PATIENT.

What does patience mean?
The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset:

Whoa.
So, I'm supposed to love without getting upset? But HE troubled me. He made me suffer. He ignored me! He won't get a job! He won't touch me and he knows my love language is TOUCH. He really hurt me in the past. He cheated on me. YES, I forgive him and we moved on but I have a hard time being patient with him.

Love doesn't demand it's own way. 

"You don't LISTEN. I am more spiritual. I am better with money. I am a better leader. I have more schooling. Let's do it THIS way."

It's it amazing that we are serving in the church, helping people and doing all of these things but we don't love the person that we share a bed with? That is your first ministry. Your HOME ministry. You hate your own husband. How can we say that we really love Jesus but we hate the one we are ONE with?

I like 1 John 4:20, it says "If someone says, "I love God," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?"

But Heather, my husband ain't saved. He hasn't cheated or anything but he won't turn to Jesus. I want to leave!

1 Peter 3:1 tells us, "In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by your quiet and gentle spirit."

I can tell you this. With every test of "love" I have passed, GOD HAS REWARDED ME. In those times where I wanted to leave my marriage or run - I STAYED and ENDURED and TRUSTED God to change ME and my spouse. (Guess that's what happens when two alpha personalities marry!) AND I watched God grow our love, our ministry, and our life anoint us for our obedience. I have watched the Lord use my husband to reveal my heart and weaknesses. I have watched myself change and get better because of those tough times.

It takes NOTHING to quit on your marriage. Your marriage will force you to grow, mature, develop and CHANGE. If your marriage has grown apart, it's because you let it. Don't give satan an open door. Don't let him in to destroy your marriage. Do your part, God will reward you!

If you're fighting with your spouse now - text him right now and go get your marriage back. Don't give the devil an open door into your life or marriage. Not now, not tomorrow or the next day.

I challenge you right now to write out 10 things that you love about your spouse. Starting, now. Focus on those things vs. what he isn't doing.

I see God healing marriages right now. I see restoration in broken marriages right now. I see hope again.

In Jesus name.

God loves you like crazy,

Love always,
Heather Lindsey

1. The 2017 Pinky Promise Conference was EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like literally. Here's the night I taught on "Running From God." I will be opening up registration for 2018 this upcoming FRIDAY via www.pinkypromisemovement.com

2. Ah, I'm SO excited that the Pinky Promise Movement page has a new look! Check it out HERE. 

3. ALSO, the Pinky Promise Boutique has a new look too PLUS a ton of cute MODEST, FAB, CLOTHES, jewelry, promise rings, clothes, journals, etc! Check it out HERE.

4. Be sure to check my calendar to see if I'm in your city soon! (under Calendar)

5. Are you in Atlanta? Come and visit our church! We are in Sandy Springs! The Gathering Oasis Church - we meet at the Galloway Private School in the Amphitheatre. 215 W Wieuca Rd NW Atlanta, GA 30327 every Sunday at 10AM EST.

5. My New Book, Silent Seasons was on the Amazon Best Seller's List as the #1 in New Releases and in Religious for 5 weeks! ahh!! Find it HERE.  or on Amazon/Kindle/Ibooks/Audio Book.

6. My dear friends, Havilah Cunnington and Lisa Bevere have an amazing 12 part series titled #MomOfMen - teaching you how to raise godly children. Sign up now and recieve a FREE e-book. You can sign up HERE.

Our wedding day :) 8/14/10










Friday, September 29, 2017

Tough Season? What Are You Saying?


Yes, your situation may look like a hot mess.

Yes, you may be straight going through it.

Yes, your heart may be broken.

It's true - you may not understand what is going on in your life.

You may have just lost your job.

Your husband may have left you while you were completely faithful to him.

It may seem like you have no purpose.

It may seem like everyone has forgotten about you.

It may seem like you're at a dead end job today.

It may seem like the only thing that appeared to be comfortable was your past.

It may seem like everyone is leaving you.

It may seem like your life is a failure.

Regardless of what you are "feeling" today, I came to ask you, "What are you saying in the midst of it all?" Yes, you may get crazy thoughts about yourself based on what you can see, but the reality is that you have a choice. You can either sit and believe the devil's lies, or you can call him the LIAR that he is and decide to trust God through this situation.

Your good words and thoughts can literally trigger happy endorphins to be released in your body that make you physically feel better. Who knew that we can actually control those crazy thoughts that come through our heart? We don't have to accept the lies of the enemy, most of us just choose to believe him. If the mailman tried to drop off a package of live rattlesnakes, I'm quite sure that you wouldn't sign for the package - but sadly, many of us are signing for a package of negative words every single day.

On this earth, we will have tribulation, we will go through hard times, we will get frustrated. You may even be justified in your complaining because you have small kids,  you hate your job, or you've been single and saved for a longggg time and you are straight tired. Regardless of your season in life, I want you to remember this scripture:

Proverbs 18:21
The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

Whoa.

My words can bring LIFE or death to a situation?? And there are consequences to what I SAY? I believe that we would be MUCH more careful of what we said if we knew that it could HINDER where God is taking us. Some of us have become so used to complaining and grumbling that we literally WOKE up this morning, complained and fussed while we went into our prayer time. Then after fussing at God for about 30 minutes, we got dressed and went to work, fussing. The traffic, the train ride, the this, the that. THEN, we got to work and we are complaining.. until we opened up this blog. :)

Either we are going to have a great attitude today and decide to trust God or we are going to look exactly like this world and complain. YOU HAVE A CHOICE. 

Let's look at another scripture:

Matthew 12:36
"I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak."

Whoa.

EVERY WORD. Every word you THINK. Every WORD you SPEAK. EVERY word you TYPE. (Yes, even what you say on social media and the arguments that you have will be judged)
Heather, that scripture does not say the words I thought. But, if you read Matthew 5:27-28 it says, “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

So, even in THINKING about lust is a sin. So, THINKING about complaining, rolling your eyes at that co-worker, your friends group me message or your husband is complaining in your heart.

James 3:5 says "The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do."

How do we get help in this area?

1. First, we must be emptied out. What is in your heart? If you find that you have a ton of jealousy, pride, hate, etc - run to the feet of the Father. Repent of your sins! Ask God to cleanse you and make you whole.

2. Now, fill back up again. With God's word, sermons on unforgiveness, sermons on guarding your heart. Grab a journal, a Bible you can understand, spend time with God, stop hanging out with messy, gossiping people and maybe even do a fast from social media if it's causing you to hate everyone, including your life.

3. Surrounding yourself with believers is key. Find a local, word-based church. Join a Pinky Promise Group or start one.  

4. Fast from complaining. Yup, that's right. Train your flesh to say the opposite of what you want to say (only if it's bad!)

5. FIGHT back with the word of God. Write out scriptures on this area and when the attacks come, fight back! Here's a few!

Proverbs 12:18
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Matthew 12:36
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

Proverbs 16:24 
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Proverbs 15:1 
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Matthew 15:18
But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.

Hebrews 4:12 
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Sisters, WE CAN do this! We CAN speak LIFE. We WILL have a good attitude. There WILL be a joy and light about us as we live for Jesus! We WILL align our words with what God says about us!

Few things!

1. The 2017 Pinky Promise Conference was EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like literally. Here's the night I taught on "Running From God." I will be opening up registration for 2018 this upcoming FRIDAY via www.pinkypromisemovement.com

2. Ah, I'm SO excited that the Pinky Promise Movement page has a new look! Check it out HERE. 

3. ALSO, the Pinky Promise Boutique has a new look too PLUS a ton of cute jewelry, promise rings, clothes, journals, etc! Check it out HERE.

4. Be sure to check my calendar to see if I'm in your city soon! (under Calendar)

5. Are you in Atlanta? Come and visit our church! We are in Sandy Springs! The Gathering Oasis Church - we meet at the Galloway Private School in the Amphitheatre. 215 W Wieuca Rd NW Atlanta, GA 30327 every Sunday at 10AM EST.

5. Lastly, My New Book, Silent Seasons was on the Amazon Best Seller's List as the #1 in New Releases and in Religious for 5 weeks! ahh!! Find it HERE.  or on Amazon/Kindle/Ibooks/Audio Book.
God loves you like crazy,
Love always,

Heather Lindsey



































Monday, August 28, 2017

"A Woman After God's Own Heart."



Hey everyone!
Gosh, I have been soo busy! Between my new book Silent Seasons releasing, My Youtube Channel, The 2017 Pinky Promise Conference, The Singles Retreat that we just hosted, the Marriage Retreat that we just hosted and everything else within the last 30 days, this mama needs some REST!

Thanks for your patience as I update my blog! I am also in the middle of writing not one, but TWO books that are set to be released in June 2018. Ya'll gotta pray for me!

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I am so convicted to be a woman after God's own heart. I know that at times, it may come across really strong, brass, overly confident or even judgmental but I want you to hear my heart. I really love God and I really love you. Because of my deep rooted convictions about the gospel of Jesus, I simply want to see my sisters WALK in WHO God called them to be on this earth. For YEARS, satan kept me bound in dependency on a man, addiction to peoples approval of me, sex outside of marriage and thoughts of suicide. If I can shed a little light on what I went through to remind you that the enemy simply desires to wipe you OUT.

My heart's cry is that you will be a woman after God's own heart and change your home atmosphere, job, school, community and then nations. This doesn't mean that you're perfect. It simply means that instead of pursuing SIN, you're pursuing GOD. I am so tired of the DEVIL convincing, dividing and suggesting to women that we should hate each other, be jealous of one another or whatever else. The enemies desire is to make you feel like you're not on the same team in the body of Christ. Don't let him sneak into your heart.
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I just want to remind you today to stay close to the heart of the Father. In this world, there will be so many distractions and people that will challenge your heart for God. There's going to be tempting situations that God has already freed you from but when times get hard, it may seem like it's more comfortable.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure."

Sis, Satan is after your heart. If he can convince you that God doesn't love you through SIN, then he will convince you to live for him and NOT for God. This is why God is saying, "the temptations that you're facing right now is no different then what others experience."

What are you facing right now? 
People bondage? Loneliness? Fear? Worry? Homosexuality? Masturbation? Fornication? Adultery? Self Control? Insert your area right now. _________

1 John 1:9 says, "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."

So, confess that sin right now & stop reading if you have to. 

Did you know that when you're a woman after God's own heart, it doesn't mean that you're perfect, it simply means that you have stopped depending on these temporary sins of the flesh to fulfill you. You realize how EMPTY, WORTHLESS and PURPOSELESS it is to chase this world and everything in it.  It means that WHEN you get attacked, you attack the temptation with the WORD of God and you RUN. You no longer have time for the flesh. You no longer have time for the sins of the flesh. You guard your heart against ungodly friends, secular music and TV.

But HEATHER, you don't understand. I am at work reading this and people HATE me. Or, I am a part of a church but I know that people don't like me. I know I am supposed to live for Jesus but it seems like I keep getting tested. I can repent and move on but I cannot control the way other people treat me!

Honey.

Let me tell you, these tests and trials are giving you ENDURANCE to continue to do what God has called you to do. ALL of these PRIVATE victories are preparing you publicly.

Philippians 1:28
 "Don't be afraid of your enemies; always be courageous, and this will prove to them that they will lose and that you will win, because it is God who gives you the victory."

Do you have some enemies? It can be co-workers, family members or even people from church that simply don't like you for whatever reason. Instead of fussing and fighting with them, pray that God blesses them and keep your eyes focused on what HE is telling you to do!

I love that part, "ALWAYS BE COURAGEOUS." It's so clear to me that the enemy wants to steal your confidence in God's word. If you don't know who you are or WHOSE you are, then the enemy will come in and try to get others to challenge your walk, your talk, your hunger for God and whatever else. They will say, "it doesn't take all of that." "You're changing. You are just so deep about this Jesus stuff."

Deep?

 Shoot, we aren't deep enough. When I used to be a professional sinner, I sinned really good. Then, when Jesus saved me, I stopped pursuing sin. I was always either a hot or cold person. So now, I am even MORE passionate about Jesus than I was when I used to go hard for the enemy. Only YOU know how what Jesus saved you from! Only YOU know how far He has brought you! Only YOU know those late nights where you cannot sleep and you're pouring your heart out to God!

Did you know that if satan can convince you to be quiet and stop being bold for Jesus, then he can silence your voice!? He's TRYING to silence you from being obedient to God! Scream louder. Obey more. Choose to do whatever God is telling you to do. I am reminded of Galatians 4:16 and it says, "Have I know become your enemy by telling you the truth?" People will look at you crazy when you actually take a stand for God. This is a part of a WAVERING, double minded generation!

Sis, SIN ruins your confidence, separates you from the Father and robs you from purpose on this earth. If you're LIVING in sin and pursuing it, you will never see what's on the other side of your obedience.
  • Now a days, you cannot stand up and say that marriage is between a MAN and a WOMAN and it will never change without saying it's "hate speech."
  • Now a days, if you tell people to guard their heart from the wrong TV shows, music, and certain relationships, you're called judged, mean and self righteous. 
  • Now a days, if you tell people to save sex for marriage, they unfollow you on social media because "everyone can't have your love story heather!! Not realistic." 
  • Now a days, you can't tell the difference between the people at church on sunday and the people at the club later that night. 

It's like we come up with all of these excuses to why we should be able to stay in our sin. WHO told you that? Where is your discernment? Where is your heart? When did your heart become so cold to our Jesus? Who have you been listening to?

When did we become so lukewarm in our hearts? Did we really let the world desensitize us to what God hates?

2 Timothy 3:3-5
"You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!"

Matthew 7:13-14
“You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.  But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.

I'm not saying this to be mean, hurtful or anything, but out of love. I love you so much that I want to see you walking in the Lord's ways. I want to see get up out of that bed and stop sleeping around. I want to see you walking in your purpose. I want to see you BOLD for Jesus! I want to see your confidence back! I want to see you walk in in HIS WAYS! 

1 Kings 18:21 says, 
"Then Elijah stood in front of them and said, "How much longer will you waver hobbling between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow Him! But if Baal is God, then follow him."

Baal was the name of the supreme god worshipped in ancient Canaan and Phoenicia. Baal was the "god" of fertility who was believed to enable the earth to produce crops and people to produce children. Baal also required a first born sacrifice. Here, Elijah is directly confronting paganism and he proved that GOD, not Baal sends rain after a 3 1/2 year drought. Elijah then did a showdown between our God and Baal to send fire down from heaven and of course, our God rained fire down from heaven. I encourage you to read all of 1 kings for further context!

Now, you may not be bowing down to worship no Baal but you may have some idolatry in your own life. Your Baal may be people bondage. Your Baal may be sex, pornography, approval addiction, drugs, drinking, clubbing, ungodly music, homosexuality, ungodly friends or whatever temptation you run to when times get hard. We have to stop wavering between two opinions. I can ASSURE you that this WORLD will fail you. I can assure you that everything you see on this earth is TEMPORARY. I can assure you that you will STAND before God one day and will He say, "well done? Or I didn't know you-- get away from me you worker of iniquity. (Luke 13:37)

How do we truly become a woman after God's own heart?

1. We must renew our minds with the Word of God! If you want to learn the voice of the Holy Spirit it starts with first spending time with the Lord. 
2. We must be women that are repentant of our sin when we do mess up and refuse to return to that sin.
3. We must be obedient to whatever the Lord is telling us to do. So, after you spend all of that time with God, what's next? Saying YES. 
4. Guard your heart. Yes. It's vital that you protect what music, TV, friends or whoever else is planting bad seeds in your heart. 
5. Find an amazing church home where the word of God is taught and find accountability friends! (Pinky Promise is a great place to start!)
6. Remember that without FAITH it is impossible to please God! (Hebrews 11:6
7. Remember that a gentle answer turns away wrath. You don't have to turn up with everyone that "comes at you." Walk in love. Walk by Faith. And keep it moving.
8. Use tests and trials to make you stronger. Exercise those muscles. Don't run from hard times.
9. Keep the word going in your heart all day. From worship music to sermons, the audio books during your down time.
10. Now, put everything that you've learned into action. Rest in the Lord and watch Him work out things for your good!

So, I declare right now in the name of Jesus that you will be bold and courageous for this generation! You will be a woman after God's own heart. You will not run back to the sin that you once loved. You will not be lukewarm in the name of Jesus! You will have a desire to serve the Lord with your heart. You WILL be convicted of sin! You WILL not put yourself in tempting situations! You WILL always take a way out!

Few things!

1. The 2017 Pinky Promise Conference was EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like literally. Here's the night I taught on "Running From God."

2. Ah, I'm SO excited that the Pinky Promise Movement page has a new look! Check it out HERE. 

3. ALSO, the Pinky Promise Boutique has a new look too! Check it out HERE.

4. Be sure to check my calendar to see if I'm in your city soon! (under Calendar)

5. Lastly, My New Book, Silent Seasons was on the Amazon Best Seller's List as the #1 in New Releases and in Religious for 5 weeks! ahh!! Find it HERE.  or on Amazon/Kindle/Ibooks/Audio Book.

God loves you like crazy,
Love always,

Heather Lindsey
Me & my Spirital Mama, Lisa Bevere at the 2017 Pinky Promise Conference!



Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Why You Shouldn't Be Jealous Of Anyone



In the world of social media, it's so easy to become jealous of other people. The Internet can absolutely make you feel like you're behind. It seems like everyone is super happy, everyone has the perfect lighting, the perfect husband, the perfect life, the perfect clothes, the most well-behaved children, the perfect home cooked meals every night, the perfect ministry or whatever else. It may seem like everyone has the perfect Pinterest life and meanwhile, you are over there, struggling with your portion. I challenge and urge you today, to look at your own heart and see if there are any seeds of jealousy and bitterness towards anyone.


I have learned that being jealous starts with a small seed being planted and then it grows into a harvest that accuses and becomes jealous of others.


For example, when I was in college, a beautiful dark-skinned woman came up to me and said, "I don't like you because you are light skinned, with light eyes and long hair." And, she walked away.


I stood there stunned. Wait, huh? I am SO nice!! Why wouldn't you like me? I realized in that moment that maybe experienced some hurt with someone who looked somewhat like me in the past. So, she slowly became jealous of me because of the way that I looked. I'm thinking, "Honey, I didn't sign up for this - I was literally born this color. She would roll her eyes at anything that I said and it wasn't even because of me, but because of the way I looked. I knew that her not liking me was not a reflection of me, but a reflection of her. I didn't do anything to her. And, in her own life, that seed of jealousy was planted in her heart from the past grew a harvest. Over time, I got an opportunity to speak with her and we started to get to the root of the problem. It turns out her boyfriend left her for someone that looked like me and she felt that the way I looked was more favorable than the way she looked. I stood there stunned.


Girl.


"You are BEAUTIFUL! From the top of your head to the soles of your feet! You have NO reason to be jealous of ME or of anyone else!"


You know when you're jealous of someone because every single thing that they do becomes irritating to you. You try to pick them apart and find something not to like about that person. You go from tolerating them, to accusing them and becoming suspicious of that person. You rationalize your thoughts because "you know that something just ain't right." Then, you are convinced that your opinion of that person is what God really thinks about that person.


Do you know that God has NOTHING to do with your negative thoughts and accusations towards that person? The DEVIL himself is coming to kill, steal and to destroy your life. If he can cause more confusion and division between you and a sister in Christ - he has succeeded. Are you taking the BAIT from satan? Some of us willingly walk up to him and take the bait and end up hating everyone all because jealousy and envy stuck its ugly head into our relationships.


Now, I am here for being discerning when it comes to people as we are led by the Holy Spirit. There's a huge difference between being Holy Spirit led and being led by our feelings or opinions towards that person.


What does jealousy do?



  • Jealousy robs you from relationships and it keeps you from being content with what God has called you to do. Jealousy says, "I don't look like that and I cannot do it like her so I measure myself against her and I deem myself as not enough." 
  • Jealousy ruins your confidence because you place your hope in what you can see and not who God called you to be. 
  • Jealousy is a sin. And if God hates it, we should too.
  • Jealousy makes you feel discontent with your portion which means that you will never be satisfied with who you are. 
  • Jealousy is dangerous because the more you compare your life to others, the more you will focus on what you are not and you will stay in that place for the rest of your life. Some people continue to go around the "I hate everyone" mountain and will look at 50 years old, still tearing people apart with their thoughts and words. 

When I think about the story of the woman I met in college, my heart breaks. How many of us see ourselves in her? So, instead of celebrating others, you seek ways to tear others down. Instead of bringing peace, you create drama and confusion online and in your own life to make you feel better about your hate.


The devil himself became jealous and envious of God and wanted to be him. He no longer was satisfied in being the beautiful angel that God created him to be. Pride slipped into his heart and it's shown here in Isaiah 14:12–14



12 “How dare you are fallen from heaven,
O Day Star, son of Dawn!
How you are cut down to the ground,
you who laid the nations low!
13 You said in your heart,
I will ascend to heaven;
above the stars of God
I will set my throne on high;
I will sit on the mount of assembly
in the far reaches of the north;3
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds;
I will make myself like the Most High.’

Do you see all of those I's. I WILL be like this. I will do that. I, I, I. Selfishness and bitterness is all wrapped up in "I." Life because all about YOU and how YOU feel. Meanwhile, the Holy Spirit is saying in 1 Corinthians 13:4 .. Love is patient. It's kind. It's not boastful, proud or rude. It's not JEALOUS.


So, if we know that jealousy is not from God - it's clearly from the devil and his selfish ways.



Here's a few tips for anyone who may be struggling in this area. 
1. Pray for whoever you're jealous of. Yes. Pray. This will soften your heart towards them and help you to see them the way that God see's them.
2. Cast down bad jealousy thoughts that attack you throughout the day. Remind yourself that you are a new creation through Christ Jesus and that your old man is GONE. 
3. Unfollow people that cause you to stumble until you're strong enough to be around them and follow them. 
4. Spend time sitting at the feet of the Father. The more time you spend with God, the less you will blame others for your portion. 
5. Refuse to gossip, spread gossip or hang out with people that are intentional about drama and confusion. 


If you're struggling with jealousy, I want to pray with you.

"Father, in the name of Jesus - we bind that spirit of jealousy right now in Jesus name. We declare that any seed of bitterness, envious, covetousness, anger, hate or wrath is being uprooted right now and cast away. We thank you God that we walk in love, peace, joy and comfort of the Holy Spirit. We are excited about our portion and we will guard our hearts from that spirit moving forward, in Jesus name, Amen.

Just a few things:

1. Find my (6) books (including my NEW book, "Silent Seasons- Trusting God when you don't understand"), purity rings, shirts & all that good stuff via www.pinkypromiseboutiques.com!

2. We have developed an APP! Think: daily post notifications + weekly devotionals, recipes and so much more! It's out NOW for iphones + Androids. Under: Heather & Cornelius Lindsey: Today With the Lindsey's

3.  If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 10:30am. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis"  215 W Wieuca Rd NW Atlanta, GA 30327 - The Galloway School in the Amiptheater

4. Register for the 2017 Pinky Promise in Atlanta, GA! It sold out last year so you don't want to miss out! We are almost SOLD OUT! www.pinkypromiseconference.com

5. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 50,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

God loves you like crazy,
Love always,

Heather Lindsey
Ahh! My NEW BOOK! 







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